Friday, December 19, 2008

What's Ya POV

You never understood me. How many times have we heard it leveled at us in discussion debate or argument?

It's as though we each know the others internal dialogue. There is no way this can happen of course yet we still hold the belief that there are people who understand us.

I have managed to finally convince myself that there is no-one who truly understands me. Fucking hell!! I don't understand me. There are those presumptuous few who hold they understand how I tick. Poor fools.

God! If anyone heard my internal dialogue they would run a mile.Fortunately everything is proof read before I let it out to the world.

I think we are born sane and die crazy. Newborns have it right. Best way to treat this life is to wail non-stop and sleep the rest of the time. It makes perfect sense when you really look at it.

Zombies

I have been like one of those blowies that hangs around the dunny when it comes to shopping centres. I like the atmosphere of shops. It's a strange thing for a person who is such a faded hippy but I go with it. It's like going to the church of consumer for me. The congregation is that of the zombie. There is a fascinating glaze over people's eyes when they are in this reverant place. And they put on such a wonderful display. The women have all their faces prettily painted and the men put on all those wonderful advertising emblems and strut around with their chests out ( as do the women but they are breasts). Stomach in- chest out- eyes-------eyes--------well the eyes are glazed.

Christmas is the second highlight of the Christian calendar- Easter the other but cheaper. Christmas is the only highlight in the consumer calendar. It's all stops out and spend till you have nothing left and beyond into any borrowings you can get your hands on.

Are we fucking mad?

I think so.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Two faces of business

Case Study:

A business that offers a loving caring retreat for cancer sufferers and terminally ill people ( who are wealthy enough to afford it). It is non profit but staff do profit really because they receive a wage.

Customers are greeted with a warmth only possible for people who have paid a premium for such care. All smiles and caring and calmness wrapped up in a bundle of New Age love speak.

You're dying- we can help-learn to die now- go into a lovely quiet morgue- like room and remain silent for 2 weeks- we call this meditation. You're dying so you may as well start with what death will be like right now and get used to it. Why delay?

But, my dear reader, should you have read yesterday's post- if you work for these two- faced arseholes- well, caring is out the window. It's pound of flesh stuff. In fact pound of flesh is way too caring for them when it comes to the way they have treated a vulnerable and sincere person in my beautiful girlfriend. These arseholes have no mercy really- they are just actors on the stage and we are the idiots who they prey upon in our vulnerable moments. They are simply one of the last vultures to pick our bones whilst we are only just alive and right before we shuffle off this mortal coil.

They are experts at preying on the vulnerable- nothing more and one hopes they will answer for it someday.

Yep! I'm pissed off today- will return to be stupid and silly tomorrow.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

To improve function-hit it with a big stick

My poor girlfriend has just suffered severely vicious treatment at her work.
Her rabid boss behaved like a Rottweiler sniffing blood. She dismantled all morale in one heartless attack.

I reckon management is really not in touch with good psychological function in terms of the process of getting the most out of people.

Where's the logic in this managerial communication?--------

Oh Hi such -and- such.

It's time for your work evaluation.

We do it every year and we think it really helps our company keep up our amazingly high standards. If we can get the best out of all our members of staff we are on the road to yet another fantastic year in fact much better than the last year because your work was shit. I know we have tried to resolve all your problems and to be honest you are nevertheless such a basket case I am throwing your job open to tender at the end of your contract which can't come soon enough if you ask me. Now get back to work and do a better job till then right!

Wouldn't you really feel like doing a better job for this arsehole after this?

I know I would. I would be really eager to impress her with how good I could become. I would do this in the hope that I could go back and get another savaging sometime in the near future. Her professionalism really turns me on. Beat me I love it!

Mind you, in scenarios such as the above it helps being a masochist. We know that all bosses are sadists.

A bigots guide to tolerance

I don't know how people get so set.

I have a belief in God. But I am not so secure with it that I feel capable of ramming it down other people's throats. After all, they may be right in believing that there is no God and I may be wrong.

The problem is that if there is no God I am simply misguided; if there is a God then I have happy landings even after I die. For atheists they are the same on the first count but totally fucked on the second. Safer to believe I think.

Bless me God for I am a chicken! Not a bigot!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Diet or just die

My girlfriend spotted a guy who has written a diet out to halt the progression of Ankylosing Spondilitis. Now I know most people won't give a shit but I do because I have AS.

After I saw what he was suggesting in his diet I decided that the continued suffering was far better than submitting to it's bitter regime. I like to eat all foods- not just the tasteless ones that are so good for you and feel like you haven't eaten anything in the first place. Eating is a pleasure I wish to keep. Die happy!

Diet is the modern issue. Everyone is so precious. We live in an abundant world, for the time being at least. It can't go on forever. We think it can and we want to be here for the same duration. Forever!

What I can't endure are those precious wankers who can't have this and can't have that- you know the picky little fuckers- they are so anal and eat so sparsely yet ironically, nothing really comes out of their tight little anuses anyway.

Whilst on the subject- don't get me on those breathairians though. I reckon a bit of a nail in the head might sort out their crap. They are sneaky eaters is all. Lying little bastards.

Diets! See! They get me angry and I'm not even on one.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

James Who?

Well I went to see the latest Bond movie- don't know why, but I did.

All these movies are a total waste of time yet I line up. They are really not entertainment. I feel obliged to go for some unknown reason, Maybe it's a matter of saying that I am in with the in crowd by seeing it. Mind you, I've been doing this since the Sean Connery days- so can't stay with the in crowd forever- but I try.

The treatment of action sequences are different in this one in that they have taken their inspiration from Transformers. One never knows what's really happening in them but it is noisy and adrenaline pumping fare.

These movies are like chewing gum. Starts off flavoursome but loses it rapidly. We go back for the next offering to get that quick initial flavour that reliably fades every time.

Go see it. Don't believe me.

I don't remember a thing about it now- for all its style, realism and frantic action it was that vapid.

Watch for the pouting lips on James in the early stages however- it's really gay and was a very memorable moment in a sickening kind of way. James Bond Gay!!!! No!. Maybe he's been chewing the same gum as me.

Peace on Earth

It's coming up to the season when we are supposed to drop all the nasty thoughts and acts and to love our neighbor.

Easy! you say?

Well before I get onto that I will get onto this.

Do you suffer anxiety?

Do you think the World is coming to an end?

Do you have money worries?

Do you think your partner is two timing you?

Do you think you harbour some horrible and painful cancerous growth which is about to burst out?

Do you imagine yourself dying and get really scared?

Do you have all these worries?

Well, I do and it's natural.

But I have the solution to it all people!

It's a simple but effective way to look at this life and find peace from all the worrying chatter in our minds.

Here it is----------------------------------------- Stop giving a shit.

There you go. Practice it for a while until you get the hang of it and peace is yours.

So easy, isn't it?

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Addiction

Bastards!

They are remaking Halflife by the name of Black Mesa and have just released the trailer here.

Just when I thought I was cured.

It runs deep.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

A Radio Station Just For Me

http://www.tormentedradio.com/

Enjoy- it's all free!

Beautiful big synth sounds; heavy doof kick; lyrics that tell torment for how it is; industrial grooves. Wrist slashing fare flavoured for those of us who liked the corny voice- from- god effects of bands like depeche mode.

If this works for me it demonstrates one thing. It takes a lot to move me these days.

It must be because I am getting old and more tormented in my abused mind. Callouses have the effect of numbing.

How's that for for staying in the modern flavour of things? It's fashionable to be totally fucked. Shame I look so old- otherwise I could pass for a 15 year old.

Errr- no I couldn't- I think too much.

Wild Science

Last week I wrote that they had given us the multiverse as an answer to all things unknown. This in itself was simply another possibility- how's that again? - a possibility amongst unlimited possibilities is the possible answer remember? Well here is another gem and this time it is to do with gems really. Apparently somebody postulated that minerals are following the theory of evolution the same as living organisms.

Wo! One day a rock is gonna wake up and say gidday! This universe is a weird place. It was obviously designed with a mischievous humor intended.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Finding answers

I have the latest news. There is not one universe but infinite universes and they fit into a thing called a multiverse.

How simple is that? It answers everything. No more thinking required. Einstein would be turning in his grave.

Modern science boys have finally thrown up their hands and said- anything is possible. The problem is that this doesn't really help in understanding anything. It's like having a bag full of lollies and asking which one tastes the best and the answer is they all have the possibility of tasting better than the others.

So many answers come dressed in this sort of package. This is particularly so for those given by religious institutions. At least the Catholics were honest. They labeled everything as a blessed mystery instead of trying to give a lame answer. The use of blessed was to give it a holy spin and also saved them from using a swear word.

Here at Overthinking we have plenty to chew on now we have a multiverse to contend with.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Why failure

Why is the world economy going down?

Because everyone who matters in the world of money has stuffed up that's why. This tiny percentage of individual wealthy families have silently held all the reins on economies probably since the great depression. The power was in their hands and they stuffed up.

So simple! Now I have sorted that out onto other matters.

Why is the Aussie film industry failing? It is simple also. They make shit movies. I just can't believe how I am so intelligent. I have the answers to everything.

It's interesting though. Having the answers doesn't solve anything does it?

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Excitement

Excitement is just like smoking. That first one in the morning was the only one that really mattered. All the others were just feeding a habit.

If we look at our childhood as the morning of our lives then all the true excitement is in those years.

Now I find it very difficult to be excited and also to maintain excitement. I think as we grow on in years we suffer excitement dysfunction.

For many years now, I've finished with smoking. Perhaps I should let excitement go the same way.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Saturday, November 8, 2008

No comment is good comment

I look at my humble posts each day to see if anyone has dared to make a comment. No. The world has nothing to say to my posts.

Some may think I am disappointed by the lack of interest. Here and now I must dispel such ideas.

I'm right!

I know I'm right!

This is the reason there are no replies. There is nothing to say when one reads absolute truth. Silence is the appropriate response.

Good on you world! Keep up the good work by shutting the fuck up! Everyone is getting on with their life just as they should. Me included. But I like to write so I will write. It is just an exercise. I like to read my own useless trivia from time to time. The world is welcome to do the same- not that I care or it cares! We are all in this together but when it comes down to it---------- We are alone.

This clip shows how we should deal with each other in communication.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Just when I thought I was cured of thought

I find this:http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~sai/ind3.html

Bloody hell! I have tried. Believe me! I have tried! Then I stumble upon this the worst possible site. It feeds my addiction. It gives me hope that I am not the only one having such crazy thoughts. And the worst thing is all the articles are by scientists who have a paper trail of rational thought.

It is terrifying to feel so encouraged.

Something must be wrong. It's too easy.

Read the articles and drool. If you have the same thoughts as me , maybe you also are not crazy! If you don't then- who cares?

All this dishwashing and crochet hasn't been a total waste of time after all.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Falling falling falling

Dam levels are falling, value of the Aussie Dollar is falling, housing sales are falling, consumer confidence is falling.

I'm up on ladders painting the house and I hope I don't add to all the things that are falling.

I can't remember when the media had this much fun in the past. They absolutely revel in misery or at least the opportunity to spread the thought of it. They even make it difficult for a person such as I who loves being optimistic to stay so. Sometimes I feel like a Peter Pan in trying to stay young and also in holding my happy thought so that I am able to maintain attempted humour in my posts here.

Things are so stuffed up in so many areas at this time that I guess we have to laugh. Our worst nightmares seem to have a real chance of coming true. We have a choice. Feel the fear- which I suppose is the popular response for rational people - or laugh that everything could have gone so wrong.

I prefer the latter response because I am unreasonable. I wouldn't know if my arse was on fire really. Call me stupid- I do! But hey! Stuff it! It will be all over for me in a short while. I'm getting on. I will be leaving all those worries behind. Till then, as long as I have my health, someone to love and someone to love me and not being tortured by soldiers of an invading force- then, all is good.

even if all goes belly up and we end in misery and depression with a planet that can no longer support us---- you know it----- there will be dirty dishes to wash!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

World of Goo update

Disappointment: It's too easy. Fun but too easy. Kids game. The reviewers are raving giving it perfect scores. Forget it! Tetris all those years ago was the same genre of puzzle but at least it got harder. It's cute though.

I remain waiting to get excited by games again. I think we are fresh out of new ideas. Just as well - I have a chance of losing my addiction through becoming super tolerant to the drug. 30 years of playing them and I think I have had enough. Yippee!!!!

I've given up smokes, piss and now games. What's left? Oh Noooooooo! Not _ _ _ you know what!?!? Stuff that, I'd rather be dead!!!!!

Fancy Words

Having nothing better to post today I thought I would revisit my old favourite subject and that is, pretty words that are never used because no-one knows what they mean.

I confess to being somewhat of an ailurophile.

I'm not telling what it means but here's a hint: 'Tis obvious from a previous post. Here's another hint; it probably because I love the chatoyant features of the object of my fancy.

That's enough of this. Crikey! It makes a bloke's head spin- all this smart book learning speaking. I don't want to brag but, I can read and write like anything - fair dinkum! I'm an Aussie and have no need to know many words other than Mate and Gidday of course. But I do like to show off.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Back to reality

I've done all my worrying about the collapse of civilization as we know it so it's happily back to the daily grind.

My daughter continues her avid pursuit of happiness also which lays in the accumulation and screening of men. I happily observe the manoeuvrings with interest. Notice how everything is happy happy now? It is the simple things. I am so upbeat in the face of doom aren't I?

We do learn from our children------

When I was young and in the mating arena I was never interested in the problems of the world. I, like the young of today, was too involved in finding a girl. All the other things in life were a long second to this prime instinct. I see my daughter and her many suitors as a lesson-too-late for me but an interesting lesson nevertheless.

Our life is modified by the thing that is our prime concern at the time. Everything else is a distraction from the main aim. So all our actions have some kind of modification usually to our personality which flows through to our choices in life in all areas from career to how we dress. Wow! Am I deep?

So to close this off- why is it then that some men feign lack of interest in a woman who they find attractive. My daughter has a "cool" bloke in her sights at this very time. He is big with the sparse communication thing or the don't- look- too -excited disguise. Others are like those little fish I posted about some time ago- hungry and in a frenzy for her attention.

It appears we have 2 ways in the hunt then. Passive allowance or forceful aggression. Now the real question is: Are those who go for it big time less egotistic than the cool dude types? Or are they so full of themselves that they are super confidant and therefore bullet proof?

There's something really exciting for me to think about whilst I am out painting the house today. Happy days!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Common Errors in English

Gidday highbrows. You may have noticed my ability to write in a colourful way. The description colourful is my way of covering up my poor standard in writing skills. It has been a long time since I opened an English text book. I found this site to help in my wish to be more adept.

However the most common error in the use of English is this: The use of words to convey ideas.

I reckon the Monty Python boys had it right. We would be better off using semaphore most of the time as English clearly doesn't work.

Just look at the mess in the English speaking world at present.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Rumination

I escaped for a moment from my game. My addiction is really bad. I thought I had defeated it. I have overcome smokes and beer in my past but not the addiction to games. It lasted through the whole give up thing. The only reason that I thought I had overcome this addiction is because no-one had made an addictive game for quite a long while. Do not , I repeat, do not get World of Goo! If you do your life is over until you have finished all levels and that will take some time because you will want to keep repeating the same levels because there are so many ways to solve the puzzles.

If you want a food equivalent to this game think Pods or Cashew nuts.

Anyway I'm back on deck for the moment.

Rumination is covered in this article.

I must say that I don't agree with the bit that says women mainly ruminate. Crap! I know plenty of guys of all ages who ruminate and no it's not that I'm mixing it up with that other word that ends in ate.

Rumination has brought much of the society to ruination in my humble opinion. We have been bogged down by chewing the same chaff over and over for centuries. We think it's all so new now. No it's not. Buried under all the modern notions is some person's rules fostered by rumination.

this is why I crochet and enjoy doing the dishes. At least something gets done whilst I ruminate. Better than just ruminating. God how many words do we have in the English language that mean exactly the same thing. Somebody ought to ruminate on our dictionary and jettison the cruft.

World of Goo

I have a new drug. World of Goo. The Game. You won't be seeing many posts from me whilst I am playing this one. You will notice that there is no humour in this post.

Games are very serious business for me. This is the most addictive game I have played since Boulder Dash in the Commodore 64 days in the 80's.

Re-read my older posts in the meantime- see ya !!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Step by step

I really feel like I am getting somewhere in my postings. Possibly I would be the only one. But it is all coming together in my mind believe me. I can feel it.

Whilst the mainstream media has a field day with all this money trouble I have resolutely stayed true to my commitment and that is to the small things.

I know that for most individuals really, the daily life is repetition of small and insignificant things. We think that we mean more than we do.

So many people hold onto the belief that there is a meaning to our existence. They hold that there is a purpose which we don't understand and it will only become clear at some point in their future. And staying with truly rational thought they believe that all will be revealed when there is a post mortem performed on them by the creator.

well, I have to say that I have reached that future point in time. I have discovered the meaning of life.

Here we go again- enlightenment for you yesterday- the meaning of life today.


wait for it:


??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

The answer is the question and the question is the answer.

Isn't that deep?

Go ahead and think about that one--- for the rest of your life.

Monday, October 20, 2008

True Enlightenment

This post is for those lucky few who have been patient (or stupid) enough to read my humble blog. It is your payoff- yes- you can breathe a sigh of relief and be content in the knowledge that you haven't been wasting your time.

Enlightenment is here for you.

Drink it up you thirsty people!

When you turn on a light switch- there be light!

That's it!

Don't you feel great Now?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Ready-Set-Go

Ready?

Set?

Wait for it-----


Worry!!!----- You idiot!!!----- Worry!

No. Hang on. It's okay. Just keep spending and it will be okay. No wait.

You better sell up now. It's all going to hell. We're trying to hold it all together but it's all going down---- no ---- nooo------it's all right again. It's calming down today.

Phew. I thought it was all going to crash- but no it was just looking bad at the time that's all.

No!! Here it goes again; there's no stopping it this time: it's all going to hell big time---

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Dramatic isn't it?


The above is my interpretation of the 60 Minutes segment on the economy tonight - the segment preceding it was an very interesting look at the Great White Shark. Do you think they programmed this deliberately or was it just co-incidence?

Boy! They know how to terrify!




Friday, October 17, 2008

Hidden Truth

The keen observer won't be fooled by my upbeat and sometimes humorous daily writings. He will know that if you read between the lines I am really just holding it together all be it in a jovial fashion.

Ok. It's all out in the open now. I really am a worked up piece of work trying my best to keep everyone of the opinion that I can cope. I really can't and I am just pretending. I have this constant feeling of butterflies in my guts and the cold sweats happen regularly. It's a natural reaction to being dumped here in this reality from God knows where and being expected to cope.

In order to keep people from guessing the truth I go to extreme measures. I am like the comedian who has been tickled by one of his own jokes but as part of the show has to keep a straight face. It works pretty well for me though. I have been blessed with a real poker face. Maybe I should play the game, maybe there's some money in my face after all- certainly wouldn't be from modeling.

And whilst I am letting it all hang out here are some more truths:

I fucking hate housework!!!! I really really fucking hate it with all my heart. This includes those fucking bloody dishes. It pisses me right off having to do them all the time. It is not funny that our real life is just doing the dirty fucking dishes all the fucking time. When I do them I am seething with anger at the total waste of my precious time.

And I feel so undervalued by others. No-one seems to be interested in my life because they are so interested in their own life- - - -- --- all the fucking time. And they are like me, tiny little fish in a big pond of shit swimming around eating shit and being ignored whilst the super fat fish have bought wings from their vast wealth. Then have turned into flying fat fish leaving us to swim around in the shit forever whilst we watch with envy as they get fatter and fatter and yet still fly. We watch their lives but no-one watches our lives. Fuck them! They never wash dishes because they employ a million shit kickers like us to do it for them. They have far more important things to do like making their next million by a simple phone call- not by doing dishes.

But the biggest problem I have is not knowing if this is really the way I am always or is it just how I feel at this moment. I don't understand how people can make permanent statements about themselves. Things like saying:

I am always like this or I will never or would never do this or that, think this or that - you know they seem to have perfect unalterable grasp on themselves and things around them.

How can anyone be so set in concrete?

How can someone never vacillate in this life?

How can anyone be unwavering in their opinions and beliefs when life in itself seems to set about the task of demonstrating our impermanence and the fragility of our opinions?

I think their notions of permanence are just their wishful thinking, or our old friend delusional thinking brought on by the state or situation of the moment.

All I know is I hate doing dishes or rather I love to hate doing the dishes or I really like doing the dishes because it gives me an excuse not to achieve anything great in my life or I hate and love doing the dishes in a quantum way both at the same time and it is only after I observe the dishes that the reality collapses into hate or love etc etc .

There I go- one side of the fence to the other or both sides at once by balancing on the fence is more like it.

Basically I think life is unfair and that is unfair. So there!!!

I feel so much better now.

Better get to washing those dishes again.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Trimming

Here's another little beauty from Alan Kohler from Business Spectator- told you I was going to get some meat from this site:

About 65 per cent of internet traffic is copyright piracy and pornography. Much of the other 35 per cent is just entertainment – YouTube, Facebook – and emails.

What national benefit is there in increasing the speed of piracy, porn, YouTube and emails – and not even by very much?

Certainly it’s hard to see $15 billion worth of benefit

Before the economic collapse this worthless spending was a given- now---well at last. Is this a sign of the end of the exorbitant waste?

Really the old dial-up would do for the real things we need to do on the internet during the day.

Porn????

What the hell is up with people????

Give me a good crochet site anyday- but I guess I'm just sick!

I'm crazy

“If you are not fearful, you’re crazy.”

That’s what JPMorgan chief Jamie Dimon said last night during his third quarter results conference call. Source Alan Kohler- Business Spectator

Ain't this what the World is all about brothers and sisters?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

How we handle known problems

Governments of the developed world understand that the planet is in trouble from our excesses. They are troubled somewhat or more likely a little concerned by it and seem to have been able to procrastinate on the tough decisions required to address the problems for many years now.

Last year it was known that the economy of America was in trouble. In the usual human manner there was no action by governments until it had totally collapsed.

Is this the way it will go with the planet too?

Let's see them try to pump prime a dying planet.

No amount of money will fix it then and it is coming like this economic collapse. And we will handle it the same way. When it's totally fucked we will fix it then. OK?- Somehow I don't think so!

Sorry just broke my own rules. Too serious!

Back to the dishes.

Serious

Any reader of my humble posts here may notice that all of my writings share a common thread. They have a less than serious nature.

For many years being serious was a bad habit I possessed. I picked it up from others over my life.

Being serious is infectious.

I abandoned this trait some years ago. I did this when I realized that every time I became serious about something it appeared to go totally belly up shortly after. See I have observed that order would rather go to chaos. But in this chaos is perfect order as I will demonstrate later. The hard work we perceive we must do to maintain order in our lives is really a matter of holding back the tide. This is what my thing about dishwashing is all about for instance. The task of keeping order is relentless. It is so relentless that it is hilarious.

If I were to draw an allegory to clarify my meaning here it would be this:

The life we have is like a hedge. The serious lofty efforts we make in trying to raise above the box formed by the hedge are like those runaway growths. They must be cut back. A nicely shaped box hedge is much better than an unkept scraggly one after all. So the creator or whatever seems to have put a nice leveler in place. Now, by dropping off all those notions of grandiose ambition I held in the past I always fit into that nicely kept hedge. I clip those runaway upstarts as soon as they appear. Nothing like a bit of pruning to keep order in the garden I always say.

Also, being serious about oneself fits into the orderly life box and is firmly tied up with the person who refuses to be embarrassed about themselves. Serious people avoid embarrassment by keeping things within acceptable parameters. Silliness is to be avoided of course. That blush you get after it has been shown that you are capable of taking things too lightly is a dead giveaway that you've been caught out not being serious enough. You then have to seriously pull your act together to show that you are a serious thus orderly and in control person.

I sort of stumbled upon this secret. Since my blood pressure medication makes me blush and therefore look perpetually embarrassed I have no need for being serious anymore. So I am not serious now and the funny thing is everything seems to run smoothly when once it really didn't.

It's pretty fucked up here on planet Earth when the person who tries really hard gets screwed over and the person who has dropped the bundle skates through smoothly. So it is probably best to just laugh your way through it all. It's all over in a fairly short duration of time and you can't be too serious when you know you end up dead- seriously dead- anyway.

I have broken through the illusion and I know the tricks. You've got it now too. Good luck with it all.

Fooled ya!!! Surely you didn't think I was serious?

I forgot who I am

Blessed are the meek- for they shall inherit the Earth.

Kevin Rudd is raising the up the meek by guaranteeing their deposits and letting them inherit the earth (for a while at least). With Kevin Rudd, everyone’s a winner. Quote Alan Kohler Business Spectator

And we get $1400 for Christmas.

It's great living in a Christian based society.

And I've put myself down for the last time. I'm not weak- I'm meek!!!

I'm a meek geek!!!

And both those things inherit the Earth apparently.

Maybe Earth just means a handful of dirt though.

Christmas Bonus

Thank you Mr. Rudd

I was very excited by the announcement that we pensioners are getting a Christmas present from our prime minister this year. Maybe $1400. Wow!

What's the catch? None by the looks of it. But we have to guarantee to spend it. That's a big ask. Lots of presents this year. For many pensioners it will be fed into where it is most needed- the Pokie machine.

Yep. I felt pretty good about this economic crisis. I thought it was all doom and gloom but no! It's great! If the good times had just kept rolling on like they were a couple of weeks ago, pensioners would have been struggling. Now it's all good. Just as well there was an economic downturn.

Every cloud has a silver lining. Like I said. Even this life based on doing the dishes and other such mundane tasks all day every day, can be a very rewarding experience. It just depends on how you see things. You simply have to think all bad things are good really and all good things bad. See! Simple! When the shit hits the fan- enjoy wearing it- don't complain.

You know? Being a bottom feeding idiot helps me to cope. So being a bad thing is good. See? Works every time.

Always look at the bright side of life-- de dumb de dumpty dumpty dumb ( Repeat) etc etc.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

What am I thinking about now?

Shit! This is serious.

What's it going to be like when the governments of the world own the banks?

Is that free enterprise or big brother?

I better stop washing the dishes and take a closer look.

Nah! Stuff it! All this stuff will go away but the dishes won't.

Overthinking in warp drive

All this economic stuff has me well and truly buzzing with thoughts of doom and gloom.

Thoughts like: How am I going to afford dishwashing liquid now ?
Just when I need new pegs- the money dries up. And all these worrying types of thoughts.

But i notice also that it's yo-yo time. One minute up next minute down. Stocks arising then stocks a falling. Record levels up record levels down. I would like to know when to stop worrying but no-one appears to have the answer.

Because no-one has the answer to this question: What is money? I can't answer that of course because I've never really had much of the stuff. Artists, in financial terms, are all show and no go and probably the same in pretty much everything else in their lives too.

But for Mr. wage earner the answer to this question is that it used to be the pretty coloured paper and shiny metal disks he was given after doing some meaningless thing another person wanted him to do for a week. This thing he does is also probably not what the earner would choose to do in a week of his life if he didn't want these bits of paper. These days the bits of paper start as a number that only appears on a slip of paper his paymaster gives him. This number which is a number to two decimal places with a $ sign in front of it somehow ends up in a place where he thinks it will safely stay and be cared for by people who know all about money. This place is called the bank and it is the thing that is now not safe for some reason. He can then put a plastic card in some kind of bank machine and get out the coloured paper which is magically created by the machine. Only then does he see money for what it is. Nothing actually but paper yet something people want really really badly. They will give him anything providing he has enough of these bits of paper so that the person with the stuff he would like to have believes that he can swap the papers for the item in question.

There.

Isn't that simple. You can now see that I am actually a really good writer can't you? And in the process I just worked out what money is.

Here in 2008 we are still doing very simple things in our life. Everything when boiled down to it is made of coloured paper. The only time that this paper becomes useless to us is when we die. And no amount of the coloured paper is going to stop this from happening to us. So in the end it is useless. But whilst we are alive it is the one thing that dictates how our life will go. This really does sound strange doesn't it.

I see however that it is the thing that stops us from simply killing each other in competition over food and such- it keeps us civilized- though it doesn't really do that neither does it?

God I'm mixed up! What is money again?

Monday, October 13, 2008

Down among the dumb men

I think there was a song in the 60's entitled "Down among the dead men".

Anyway that's not what this gem of thinking is about.

Firstly welcome back my beautiful Deb. I missed you reading my silly little blog. I will never insult you again with thoughtless utterances on this blog. I'm a naughty boy as you know and sometimes I just get carried away with showing how naughty I am. I can hardly (emphasis on hardly) wait for my spanking.

Now back to it:

I have recently joined up with the Business Spectator. Yes! It is free, yet it is to do with watching business and it is bloody great. Can you believe it? Free and great.www.businessspectator.com.au/

Now, be warned. I am known for drawing the totally wrong conclusion from all data I observe. You may have noticed this by now if you have been stupid enough to read this crap here. So now I will be sprouting all kinds of badly drawn and irrelevant conclusions spawned from my reading the reports authored by the illustrious economists who operate the site.

Oh you lucky readers!!!!

Give up now- go wash some dishes! Do something useful. Don't let me waste your time.

Time is precious. It's all I have! So it must be.

O Yeah! I knew it!

Somehow the genius quants — the best and brightest geeks Wall Street firms could buy — fed $1 trillion in subprime mortgage debt into their supercomputers, added some derivatives, massaged the arrangements with computer algorithms and — poof! — created $62 trillion in imaginary wealth.

The whole article in the New York Times is here

This is what I have been rattling on about over several clumsy posts of recent. If I was a real writer this is how I would have put it so everyone would get it.

Smart-arses/ try-hards, they are the ones that dupe the world into all its troubles and we the sheep ----- well you know the story.

And this will never stop as long as man roams this planet which won't be for long that for sure!

Baldness Gene

Man! They find a gene for everything don't they?

I have been blessed with some very bad genes. But they have been put to good use.

The first one is our old friend HLAB 27. Yep!. I'm so lucky. This tricky little fellah gives me that wonderful curved back. The look that I am so obsessed with my feet I can't stop looking at them. The other one is the one which shall remain nameless at this time- but it rids the head of its annoying hair over time. So now I can look at my feet and blind people who look my way from the glare shining off of my shiny scone. All in all it stops any chance of me being voted a middle aged sex symbol.

But I've had my share of good looks. When I had hair I wore it long- very long. People looked at me then and I was often embarrassed. See I have the blushing gene too. Now I have rosey cheeks sort of an exploding- thermometer- red. You get the picture? I look like some bald Santa glowing and hunched. Yep the image just gets better and better don't it?

I'm one lucky fellah. See I reckon the creator has dealt me the nasty ones that only effect the way I look. And luckily my wonderful lady likes the way I look so no problem. So I think the chances of getting all the really nasty ones may be made slim because of this. I know I know! It doesn't follow. But hey! It helps me live happily looking the way I do.

Delusion is a great substitute for prozac. And it's free!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Try Hard

I am a try hard. I am not really very good at anything much but I try hard.

This blog is an attempt at being a funny smart-arse writer. I know. It fails miserably.

The one thing I forgot about when I started this is that you have to be smart in order to be a smart-arse.

I'm left with just being an arse. Plain and simple.

But I am honest. Unlike those smart arses in Wall street who still try and hold onto the myth that they are smart-arses.

Here's my try-hard attempt at poetry:

Down among the dumb men, there we be.

Down among the dead men, there we will be;

Eventually.


Clever by half but stupid by the score.

Smug in our delusion fed by confusion

Mankind's foolishness comes to the fore.

Means nothing but sounds great!

What a try hard I am!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Party is over.

We're going broke. The whole world not just me is going broke. At last. I have a reason to stop spending. No money.

Of course I never really had any money in the first place, instead I have been selling off the bricks in my house.

The Age says everyone else in Australia has done the same-I knew it- that's how they get those new expensive cars all the time- they're really driving around in converted bricks.

Says it all here:

And then there is the matter of the current account. Australia's ability consistently to import more than it exports, yet grow its economy for 17 consecutive years, has been the stuff of economic legend.

The consumption economy, however, has saddled us with a bucket of debt - most of which is held as home mortgages that banks have had to go to the global capital markets to provide.



Now that the party is over I reckon I might just sit here in a darkened room and wait till the lights go on again. Then borrow some more from our friendly benefactors- the bank- and spend again.

Till then- the party is over! See ya on the flip side!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Orderly blogging

I really should pull this blog into some kind of order.

Nah! I like its whimsy and chaotic nature!

Even if I did put it in order no-one would visit as it would seem everyone knows bullshit when they see it .

Small things

Recently I upset my special person by mentioning in a post (which I have now removed) that the sight of certain large objects imbued happiness.

This got me to thinking about another famous saying my mother had:

Small things amuse small minds.

I guess conversely big things amuse big minds but of course we know this isn't true or all readers of girlie mags would be absolute geniuses- and I suppose some maybe are but all of them?- no way! And the majority? --draw your own conclusions.

My blog here sits in the former of course.

Anyway this morning I noted that famous Steve Jobs has won his nine year battle to hold a patent on the Dock on the Mac operating system.

Boy- you can make a fortune out of small things can't you?

I have to say- the whole Apple thing is based on making huge amounts off of small things. Eye candy is very small unimportant stuff in real terms but they blow it up to must- have proportions.
The Apple product design criteria appears to be

1.You are an idiot more interested in how something looks rather than what it does.

2.You are scared of complex things and need have no idea of our magnificent machine's inner workings and we can hide it with pretty stuff so you feel more at ease.

3.The majority of tasks on our magnificent machine performed by the majority of idiots (and yes the majority are idiots) are in fact basically at best pointless such that they really don't need to be done in the first place.

4.But, wow! You can look pretty damn good while your doing it. So you may as well look good . Because you can!

For instance; I typed all this stuff on my XP PC. It is pointless and useless and I don't even look good whilst I do it on my boring beige setup. I don't even have a Dock on my screen. What an absolute loser!!!!

I can imagine all those brandophrenic sMACheads squirming at what I have written here. They must justify their premium spent hard-won earnings. Being sucked in is the ultimate embarrassment as we know. Quality (eg. Mac vs PC) is always money well spent isn't it? Pay that extra- you'll feel so much more intelligent if you do. We know you're not- just gullible is all.

Don't get sucked in!

Sweating the small stuff is what it is all about. Distraction from being actually productive is what it is all about. Playing with toys is what it is all about.

Small things do amuse small minds.

Just look at me! I am amused because I have restricted myself severely to only doing very small things. And yes I have a really small mind and I am thankful for it.

And because in fact we are here for the grand purpose of life which is to live, nothing else really, then we may as well be amused whilst we are doing it. See it sort of all washes down to nothing in the end. I have realized that at the tender age of 56. If you stop pump priming your every moment you end up at rest. Rest is good. But that's subject of another future riveting post.

At least with my other passion, crochet, I end up with a hat at the end of my amusing time with a hook and yarn. But I'll press on here. I'm sure I will say something funny soon. Or maybe not- who cares?

But what do you end up with after a couple of hours on this computer thing? Sore eyes ,cramps in the neck and a fed addiction. That's it. A fed addiction!!!!

But if your on a Mac you also look great whilst you're getting the pain and you've got that marvelous fucking Dock to play with for hours on end. Makes you want to run your cursor over it just thinking about it right now eh? The way it sort of magnifies as you do it- isn't it just so cool? Over and over and over again!

Well it's out to the workshop to look at all my idle tools whilst they rest in their place ( Dock) on the shelves. They look so pretty laying there. I chose all the nice colours. Then I could play Mac Dock by going along the shelf and picking each one up in turn and putting them down again but not actually doing anything by using them.

Over and over and over again. It makes doing nothing so worthwhile.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Who makes the rules?

Whilst I was dressing today I got this:

Why is the tuck in so embarrassingly uncool now? When did the rule start that we are no longer permitted under the rules of modern dress to tuck in our shirt ,t shirt,top or whatever?

Who made this rule or worse how do I know without ever being told ;

Is it a directly implanted thought put there by the aliens surrounding the planet from their intergalactic motherships. Directive to earthlings: don't tuck in your tops!!

Or worse: Did God add to the list of 10? Thou shalt not tuck in thy tops!!!

I dunno but I sort of find it to be a worry and at the same time I am not prepared to risk the ridicule of going out with a tuck in visible.

I feel a little bit rebellious today:

I will tuck in my t shirt but wear a windcheater over it that way I have the best of both worlds.

I am such a rebel

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Black Holes in the home

I have one and I think everyone has one- your own personal black hole right in your own home.

They only need two conditions to exist- the presence of young females and a pair of scissors.

I know it sounds pretty far-fetched but it's true!

These two things create black holes in the home.

And how do I know this?

Well over my years in my home I have had a daughter and many many pairs of scissors. At certain times when I need a pair of scissors they have all mysteriously gone missing.

I keep my pairs of scissors in the same place all the time. I buy scissors in those packets of 5. It's easier that way because I always anticipate that a black hole will form somewhere in my home so one does need many pairs of scissors at any given time just for backup for when one goes in.

I watch my scissors at their special place like a person with OCD. They are always there when I look. They are waiting for my need for them patiently.

But every time I go to get the scissors because I need to open some plastic food parcel and such, They Are Gone!!! They only disappear when you need them and this ties up with the Quantum Physics thing about spooky action at a distance.

The rule is they are there until your consciousness sends out the thought that you need scissors and Poof! They are gone. Just like that!

My girlfriend had the same thing happen to her yesterday whilst I was there so I know this probably happens to everyone.

And the X factor is:

Young females.

Every time I have heard of this type of thing, there is one common condition. The presence of young women.

It must be some kind of psychokinetic thing.

The black hole attracts the scissors to them and they are sucked into another dimension.

Black holes must need scissors in order to survive just like we do.

I wonder if they have young women in the other dimension that keeps losing their scissors for them too? This is probably why they form in our homes- to pinch our scissors.

Anyway I've got another pack of 5 on my shopping list now so better get off and get them.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Ooh a new word for insult

Some people are so intellectual. They possess words in their vocabulary that I don't even know exist.

Here's today's word then.

Curmudgeon.

Apparently uttered by an ABC radio presenter ( of course) to some famous person in an interview which ended badly.

I'm not going to tell you what it means. It would ruin your fun.

Thank God. I thought the modern way was to rid the world of the use of such words. But no. They are still alive. We still need a dictionary even if now it exists only in cyberspace.

The joy of scurrying around looking for the meaning of an insult would be denied to us if the modern world had its way.

The other c word is the usual insult I have encountered in my life. It is much shorter and so much more direct. It is the ultimate in crass. But it has no mystery to it. It is devoid of any kind of joy because of that.

I don't know about you but I find a certain success when someone loses it enough to insult me. I get this sort of inner glow. Like a smirk on the inside. It means I have pushed a very interesting button and they are totally vulnerable to me.

In males this is a particularly victorious result. And if you manage to avoid or even go with the resulting blows and punches it can be a very elevating experience.

How is it elevating. Well it gives one a sign that everyone isn't asleep in this world. It breaks apathy which reigns supreme in these troubled times.

Curmudgeon. Curmudgeon. I will have to practice this one until it flows as freely as that other word.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

I must comment on this

In today's Age newspaper:
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What men and women want: Australian Happiness Index

  • October 2, 2008 - 8:32AM

Australian men are happiest when they are having sex or surfing the net, but women prefer to get their endorphins racing by having meals with friends and petting their pooches, according to the 2008 Australian Happiness Index.

Rest, relaxation and entertainment topped the list for both men and women in the index, with quality time with your partner also making the top four for each sex.

But that's where the similarities end.

Sex ranks as a top five activity to make men happy and surfing the internet tops even that at number three.

Sex and the internet were also top 10 choices for women to make them happy, but enjoying a family meal and playing with pets or children ranked much higher.

Eating comfort food scored in the top 10 for both sexes, but the more discerning men questioned said they preferred great food and wine or drinking with friends to reaching for the chocolate.

Despite urban myths to the contrary, shopping does not make all women happy - only 30 per cent were happiest when shopping for new clothes, shoes or accessories.

It may come as little surprise that just 14 per cent of men were happiest when shopping.

One in two women said reading a good book made them happy whereas less than one in three men said the same, and 36 per cent of generous-natured women said buying gifts made them feel joyful, compared to a miserly 19 per cent of men.

The index was compiled by marketing consultants The Leading Edge who spoke to more than 8,500 Australians aged between 18 and 64.

"Australians are made happy on a week-to-week basis, not by possessions and achievements, but by entertaining experiences and by meaningful interactions with others," The Leading Edge managing director Karen Phillips said.

The index has been designed as a marketing tool to give businesses a better picture of their target customers.

AAP

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Here on this blog I have been trying to exercise my sense of the absurd. But this article outdoes my feeble efforts on all levels- well, not so much the article more the survey results and the journo who actually puts it up as valid news.

Everyone knows that spending money is easily the most popular way to make yourself happy. This survey is so obviously flawed.

According to the article men are such gorillas aren't they? And women are so noble by comparison.

They are all virgins you know. Pure as the driven snow!

All this article shows is that fibbing is the favoured pastime for most people or, equally, deluding themselves. In the end that is what happiness actually is; delusion.

I love being a delusional fool. As my mum used to say, ignorance is bliss.

Anyway sex sells as we already knew and the most popular place at the shopping centres should be the bookshops. All the women should be in there and the guys are in there because all the women are in there. Funny though, I always observe hordes of women in the cheap fashion shops and the guys are in the electronics stores.

No wonder Wall Street is in trouble. Business simply doesn't have a clue on what we want to make us happy.

Life without fear of some horrible end looming all the time and a healthy planet that can sustain it would be a good start.

Happiness must be a very fleeting thing. We men can't have sex 24/7 more like, 7 minutes if we think about the latest tax rulings whilst doing it, then what , surf the net for porn trying to get worked up again? Based on that, I reckon it seems more of an anxiety based pastime than a happy one. We may be like the male Australian Brown Antechinus - they root till they die from exhaustion.

But it would be a happy death.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

What's happening in America?

It's a meltdown.

Greedy people have finally finished the cake right off.

Tough times require drastic action so I've been practicing my communication with the spirit new age type of stuff. And it's really working. I have been inspired by Team Doom who I wrote about a few days back. It seems to them that the more you embrace the end of time disasters the closer you get to a state of spiritual enlightenment.

So here goes with my first channeling thingy. Hope you like it.

Hate to say it but- Looks like we may need another war to get the global economy rolling again. These little skirmishes like Iraq and such are just not doing the job are they. The gloves have gotta come off on a global scale before we will get any kind of real growth.

Luckily Russia is back to cracking its knuckles and flexing its muscles again. They've obviously seen the light too.

I know. I know. We've been distracted haven't we? This global warming thing is a sort of a war but its simply not doing the job. It was a good idea at the time. Yeah. A war against the environment. That sounded good way of getting the economy kicked on. But it's just not quick enough. Nothing beats a good nuke in the morning does it?

Then I asked spirit who I was talking to:

My name?-----------------------------------



Doctor Strangelove

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A new solution to an old problem

Here at overthinking I try to bring you the latest in deep thinking. You know, stuff that can help you to overcome the shit that happens to you on a daily basis. Yeah. I'm just such a caring sort of person and this is why I do such a magnanimous thing. So continuing in this helpful opus I give you my latest solution to an age old problem.

How many times have you awoken and gone to make a cuppa and toast for breakfast only to notice that there are strange scratch marks on the butter that you inadvertently left on the kitchen table the night before?

You look to the cat . And he has a really happy but guilty look on his face. Yep! He's been licking the exposed butter all bloody night!

Here's my solution guys:



The Moo Cow Butter Dish and the Culprit


You can see he's trying to think of his own solution in this one


Yep! I was in the right place at the right time. $6. What a grand solution! And I just love Moo Cows and the butter they provide too. A perfect combination of aesthetics and practicality.

These are wonderful times that we live in aren't they?


Wouldn't have a clue

Things appear to have gone down the gurgler in America. News is that the Wall Street boys have lost it. They have messed about for quite a number of years now with playing and paying for war and having an idiot for president and such and it seems the party is over.

I started thinking about this money based existence we live in and I came to a rather startling realization- when it comes to all that money-economic -finance stuff, I really wouldn't have a clue.

So here's what a clueless person ( me) concludes about the whole situation with regards to the economic end of the world. I hope it helps to stop the worry over all these troubled times once and for all. All the boys who think they know it all can't seem to stop it so the whole thing is worthless knowledge. It's up to guys like me now so here we go.. It's like something else we know we can't have any control over isn't it? Death. Belief in something like God and an after life helps us to stop worrying about it though. Following on from that I reckon my absurd and baseless formulas for solving the economic woes are just as useful.

Here's my recipe then:

Just breathe through it. Keep going as usual.

And what exactly is usual?

It goes like this:

Sell sell sell and buy buy buy, sell and buy, buy and sell, sell sell buy buy, sell buy buy, buy sell sell, buy buy till you bye bye. This is how the stock exchange really works so if we follow suit something's gotta work in the end. Makes good financial sense doesn't it? Maybe I do know something about economics after all.

Monday, September 29, 2008

How females behave

Warning.

This is really deep

I was out back doing some gardening the other day and my daughters little Chihuahua bitch was watching me intently. I noticed that every time I looked up from my work her ears would drop and she would look somewhere else avoiding any kind of evidence that she was watching me. So in order to test my observation I would look away slightly then quickly turn back and look at her. She would avert her vision every time.

Aha! I'm onto you girls!

I often wondered over my life why women never seemed to look at me. I knew it was impossible that I was that ugly. I may even be a good looking guy. I think that because I have always managed to have good looking women - two pretty wives in the past and a new girlfriend now who is also very pretty - I suspect it is just luck or maybe they just feel sorry for me.

Anyway, the rule for the female, of all species it would appear, is: Don't get caught looking at the opposite sex.

Hang on!

That's the same for us guys. If you ever get caught looking at those inviting and highly flaunted boobies you are in big trouble. You are seen as some kind of lecherous horror head. It doesn't matter that their owner has them nearly hanging out of her top- don't look!!!

It is a disgrace to show keen interest in the opposite sex. Just keep yourself to yourself. Be truly moderate- like a eunuch. Keep those eyes well and truly under control man.

And of course if you happen to be advanced in your years- well- don't be a dirty old man by looking at the young females of the species. You are totally disgusting if you do so.

The bible has the solution: If thine eye offends thee - pluck it out. Oh great- such useful and sensitive advice from those ancient Jewish men- - They knew about control didn't they? They had the ultimate solution. Rip your bloody eyes out you sinner. Happy sexy thoughts turn to hellish nightmares when you think of this one. One wonders how they ever reproduced. They would all be staggering around blindly.

We should all just have empty sockets where eyes once were.

That works!!

It's far less painful and easier to simply not get caught. My daughter's little dog demonstrated the solution to me so easily. It's the natural way of things and that is - don't get caught.

See there are simple solutions to every problem!?!?

Now what was the problem again?

Friday, September 26, 2008

Tailoring thought to fit belief

Here's an important sounding concept; Cognitive dissonance

It's best described by my post of a few days ago when I was showing off my latest hat which I had made.

I had the belief that I looked dorky in it but really I looked fantastic. It's how I got around my belief that I am a dork. When the fact is I am not. I am really very cool as I have observed and discussed in previous posts.

If you are not following the above elucidation then maybe this will help.

This notion came from this source which is a discussion on Slashdot today. It just about says it all.

When it comes to having an opinion or some kind of belief it is best to keep it strictly to oneself. We risk looking absolutely foolish in just about any of our expressed thoughts.

Just look how stupid I look on this useless blog!!!!

The above line is another example of cognitive dissonance. I really know that I am not stupid and that my posts are not stupid because- well---

I'm not stupid! Am I?

Something to sleep on

In an attempt to give myself a little overthinking for my time in bed tonight I had this final thought for the evening:

What if:

The universe out there- you know, the stars and galaxies and all those pretty pictures that Hubble feeds us----------

What if they were just an illusion?

What if:

We are in some kind of cocoon of dispensed reality. Some kind of zoo keeper type of world here on Earth.

What if those historic understandings of the stars, that they were simply pinholes in a dark fabric that the gods hung up in the sky and such, were really the way it is.

That reminds me---------------

Those bloody moths have chewed a hole right through my floral curtains in the lounge room. Better get some new ones this week.

That's better- now I can sleep.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Interplanetary collisions can ruin your day

We have the US economy in chaos which of course threatens the entire global economy. Now we have astronomers discovering a collision of two planets in a mature solar system such as our own.

So obvious how media works-Nothing to worry about today so let's get 'em worrying about the slim possibility stuff.

I have a real worry- now where's that 4 mm crochet hook? Got a 3.5 mm and a 4.5 mm but just cant find the one I need at the moment.

With any luck Venus will collide with us shortly and I won't need to worry about finding a silly crochet hook anyway.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

My History of Tech

Here's my short history on my personal use of technology. Well the true highlights anyway all the rest was just second rate.

1958 The hatchet. I found the small Tommy Hawk Axe to be the best technology of the day. You could use one side for hammering and one side for splitting wood and you could throw it so you could do things from a distance. I spent many pleasant hours whacking things with it until I made something. One day I was splitting wood with it for my mum. A splinter speared through my wrist so I lost my fascination with hatchets.

1965. The slingshot. This was a fun little make it yourself piece of tech. I would fashion the body from wire and use those big fat rubber bands for the sling with the tongue of an old shoe used for the ammo pouch. I could launch just about anything great distances with it and I was a fairly accurate shot. I even used to launch fireworks like Penny Bangers ( little sticks of dynamite). The neighbourhood was terrorized by my hobby of using it to lob crackers on their roofs at night . All went well until I got caught. End of the slingshot.


1983. The computer. Yeah I don't really have much to say about this thing. It does just about everything in the world that is fun and that I want to do but it really does absolutely nothing. My life would be so much more productive if I didn't have an addiction to this bloody tech.

All this amazing tech was soon to pale into insignificance--------------------------

2004 The Crochet Hook. Oh wow. This is the best of the best. All that came before it meant nothing. It is singularly the most ingenious tool of all time. When one suffers follicular challenge the use of a crochet hook is a God send. I have a fine selection of hats to choose from because I have a crochet hook. My bald head can take on any colour I wish.

Shut out the troubles of the world and crochet. Stop taking those pills and be happy with two items- yarn and a hook. And have a warm head in Winter and no sunburn in Summer.

Peace in a stick!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My latest hat creation

I don't mind a risk. I don't mind looking dorky. I have no choice because that's the way God made me. Dorky is----- well, not good, but-----natural for me.

Anyway in order to continue the laughs on this blog here is my latest hat. I personally designed and crocheted it.

Laugh it up people!!!!!!I don't care!I'm bloody proud of it!

Polishing the gem

I was looking at my cat this morning and thinking what a beautiful looking animal it is. It meowed at me with equal admiration and I hope it was thinking how beautiful I looked also. So of course it was pat and rub time. I pat him and he rubs up against me.

Then I started thinking ( it always happens this way- something small then something big - bit like sex eh?)

If we don't do the same with our partners, they are not like cats- they will leave. Unlike cats they won't hang around forever simply for the tucker we provide. If we don't polish the gem they will stop shining for us. They will leave.

It has happened to me several times in my life. The moment you stop with the pampering of the ego and the trimmings of affection- something fades.

And it's up to us blokes to do it. You can't let down your guard for a moment. A little bit of polish from time to time during the day and that gem will continue to shine. It's funny how so many blokes forget to do just that myself included. And then we go around long- faced wondering how a woman could possibly leave us.

Women are like gems. Polish them every day to keep them at their best.

Oh how we forget so easily to do the little things in our daily lives. The little things stop the big things growing in ways we do not want.

Man, this was a bit too serious for this blog. Forget you ever saw it here.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Caught out

I wonder if the boys let out a little swear word or two when the big collider thingy broke again. You know. Things were just starting to go around nicely and suddenly bang it's broken again. And the guys in the white coats staring at the screens in the control room just accept this unemotionally. Or do you reckon they just went " Oh Fuck!!!" Or is that too unscientific?

I got caught out with the fucked word yesterday. I copied a few saved games from an old saves folder on my pc to my girlfriend's pc at her place via a usb stick. Her 8 year old son is playing Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic and wanted to check out my saved games so I brought them down to him.

I booted up the game and lo and behold the name on one of my games was " Fucked". He noticed straight away of course. Boy, was I in trouble.

I'm supposed to be a good influence on the young lad. I had really fucked it up big time.

I asked him politely not to tell his mum or I was in big trouble. But ah no! He just had to blab. Man------- I was so embarrassed.

It was really fucked I tell ya!

Oh fuck! I hope she doesn't read this post. Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!

They broke their new toy

Ah bad luck for the boys and girls at the Large Hadron Collider. It broke for the second time yesterday. Out of commission for at least 2 months now.

It just doesn't want to work like a good collider should. It kept breaking the wrong parts. I had one in the bottom of my crockery cupboard but mine broke also when a bowl fell against it. That's the thing with colliders. The things collide against each other and they just break. Very annoying.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Cure for thought

Kids.

Well you do think---- but only about them and their needs.

This seems too heavy for this blog. But I have stayed at my girlfriend's place last night and she has kids and today is the first day of school holidays and,-------and,--------and,-------Need I say more?

If I had hair it would be fully standing on end right now.

So finally I have rediscovered the cure for overthinking the trivia of life. Be a parent.

Ain't got time for the shit I think about when you're a parent.

Kids! Your best distraction.

Problem is you then overthink their trivia and not your own. I guess its better than being selfish.

At this stage of my life I have to say- I like selfish. Sorry 'bout that!

Now back to the all important - --------

Uh- Oh!!!

The cat vomited in the kitchen!

Now that's what you call poetic justice for daring to have such thoughts.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Survived another day

It's a battle to survive. Or, apparently it is so.

After last night's chicken little routine by my ex I awoke this morning to find a world totally as it was the day before with one exception, the stock market rallied and had its biggest rise in 6 years. Well this is a terrible disappointment for some people. Team Doom were getting rather exuberant about the prospect of a global collapse and a 1930's style depression. Their wishes are yet to come true poor things. They will comfort themselves in their confidence that it will happen one day and they will be ready because they will be prepared. And I must agree with them on this.

Everything will collapse one day. Nothing is permanent except possibly dishwashing. So I must keep right on top of it. I would hate to leave this planet contributing to the mess with my dirty dishes left undone. I will keep diligent in this I promise.

As to stockpiling food for the big day as my ex suggested to daughter last night, well, I simply haven't got the money. I have much more electronics to buy yet. I don't want to waste money on food. I want to go down with no dirty dishes and a shitload of the latest tech. That's my dream. And I'm sticking to it. I'm going down happy when it all falls apart. This is unlike those miserable people in their shipping crates in the desert living on their goji berries or whatever. They may be alive but what sort of life?

Blowflies, dust, dried goji berries, no toys --- forget it!!

Chicken Little

The sky is falling!!!!
The sky is falling!!!!
Run away!!!!
Run away!!!!

Oh no, it's alright. It's just the stock market crashed and everyone is panicky. My ex wife and her partner are the best people at doom talk. They are big fans of collapse. They look bad,smell bad and dress in rags preparing for it. They are ready to run away and live in a shipping container in the bush My ex has been predicting the end of the world for years now. She left me because the end of the world was coming and she knew I would be useless in such a scenario.

She hooked up with a panicky Israeli guy. She is attracted to panicky guys. They make a great couple of true dedicated doomsayers I tell you. I was lousy at it. I was too pissed all the time and just couldn't work up enough panic for her because of it. They have a real good time together I tell you. Constantly on the lookout for catastrophe can be a fun thing to do. Anything from changes in sunspot activity to the economic climate; all this is their playground to extract fun times together. They run around like chooks with their heads cut off at the slightest sniff of the end. Collapsing economy fits the bill real nice for them I tell you. They are reveling in it. Good times indeed. Bring it on baby!

She just phoned my daughter up at midnight saying that the world economy has collapsed and she better start stockpiling food. That got my daughter panicking for about a half a minute. But then all of her latest suitors came on line all at once begging her to be with each of them. I guess they sniffed that time was short too.

Forget it- there be plenty and abundance in this house I tell you. Well plenty of young men worrying about something far more important than the end of the world.

Maybe the human race is like the poor little lemmings- mating as they fall off the cliff.

I better start fitting out my old chook shed up the back. I may need it to live in when the end comes- won't be able to afford this house.

Who cares. I got some dishes to wash. I'm happy.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

More pollution

Yes fans, it's time for me to subject you to my wonderful thoughts yet again. Stop reading now if you wish. You know it's all very pointless. As was indicated by my previous piece of enlightenment some minutes ago- not much goes on here.

What still with me? You must be as bored as I.

I got to thinking about our favourite subject again today. No not sex- dishwashing.

And I thought about how when I was a kid dishes simply didn't need to be washed. It was a process that was out of my reality. My meals simply appeared on plates and I didn't know whether they were clean or not because they were covered with my food at the time. I presumed that they were just there on demand all the time and at any given moment. I must not have noticed my poor mother always at the kitchen sink. I was in a pure state of oblivion. I had no pity for her poor lady. For God's sake I didn't even comprehend the perpetual nature of dishwashing.

As I progressed through life dishes became more important and mainstream. So much so that now they are somewhat my everything. You see I have a daughter. And she lives here with me and she is 24 but she still doesn't see that there is a thing called dishwashing and that it is relentless and that it is all consuming in our lives. Because you see, she never does the dishes. Yes I know it's hard to believe; but my 24 year old daughter never wants or even notices that there are dishes that need to be washed. So isn't that just amazing? How two adults living under the same roof can have such a different perception of reality.

This is really deep philosophical stuff. She is very busy at the moment because there are so many suitors in her bedroom, some 200 at present, that she simply can't do the dishes. She has serious work to do. The dishes don't rate and can wait. All those messages and chats and emails have to be answered. I must admit after she finishes eating her meal between busily typing to yet another frantically eager young prospect she does manage sometimes to bring the dirty dishes out to the sink. They never quite get scrapped off, but hey, I understand. And actually getting them into the dishwasher- well impossible of course. It takes time. ( Yes I have a dishwasher - but it is not enough as we all know) She is really busy and I have nothing to do. Do I? Well I might have but there are dishes so of course let's get the priorities right.

Anyway, as I said, it is deep philosophical stuff. As we grow older we grow in our understanding of reality. We gain in wisdom. Our perception takes on a spiritual flavour. And I now know that we all get it in the end. We all get it big time............IN THE END!

What do we get?

Payback maybe? My poor deceased mother must look down and laugh when she sees me chained to the sink hour after hour, day after day, year after year.

Reality- dishes
Life- dishes
Afterlife- no dishes
Bring it on- Heaven truly exists.

So what do we get?

We die and there are no more dishes. God wasn't kidding when He said things were gonna get tough for us after Adam stuffed up. Dishes were coming.

Spring has sprung

And a young man's fancy turns to - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Oh, I'm not young anymore so who gives a shit!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I had it right

I finally got it right. I no longer drink or smoke. Haven't smoked for 10 years and haven't touched a drop for nearly 3. I am so proud of myself for getting addicted in the first place and then for beating the addiction. You have to bang your head against a brick wall in order to feel really good when you finally stop.

But wait!

In the Age newspaper today: DRINKING can be good for your heart — but you have to be a lazy smoker with an aversion to fruit and vegetables to reap the full benefits.

Oh my God! I've made a terrible mistake!

I will work at getting back to my perfect state of health again by immediately heading down the pub with a packet of smokes. But wait you can't smoke in pubs anymore. You've gotta be able to do both at once so I will pick up a slab and come home and fill the house with that wonderful stinking tobacco smoke.

I can hardly wait.

Life is going to be so good again.

I've been living so horribly these past years.

Trying to be so good is really really hard.

I really want to be naughty but I thought it was bad for you.

I was just one big scaredy cat.

Hang on----------------------------------------

I'm a pensioner now. Haven't got too much money. When I sm0ked I used to go through 3 pouches of rolly tobacco per week - these days that would be a fortune. And I used to drink about 2 slabs a week. Goodness that would be $90 per week alone.

Just like I always thought. ---------------

You gotta be wealthy to be healthy.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I don't know you but I love you

My daughter is pretty. She is 24. She is single. In mating terms she is prime real estate.

Enough said.

When I was a kid I used to love to fish. I have clear memory of those times when I went to the lakes area of Victoria an area that is abundant with fish- or used to be- they have stuffed it now of course. Anyway, I would drop my baited hook into the water and up would come an absolute cloud of small fry fish. Millions of them trying to get the bait. It was a real hassle because you just couldn't get your bait to the bottom where the big fish were. They were all nibbling away or just getting in the way of the bait sinking down to the desired depth. I spent my time re-baiting rather than actually fishing.

This is the same scenario of what is going on with my daughter when she is on the internet on some of these social sites.

There are millions of hungry men ( and boys) waiting hungrily to swoop on the girl as soon as she is spotted. Never have I seen such a feeding frenzy. It makes those fish look well fed and disinterested in my tasty offering when I was fishing all those years ago.

The internet makes it so that young men no longer need to fill themselves with booze in order to get the courage to approach pretty women such as my daughter. They have no ego to protect because it is all a fake synthetic environment- it is a world of unreality where one can be as one wishes with no repercussions.

In this fabulous world of total freedom people can express themselves freely. And of course with all that freedom comes the ability to say as you wish- to have the greatest impact you can possibly have- in order to stand out from the crowd.

I have to wonder at these young hungry men.

I imagine them there sitting on their tabbed browser. One tab has the free porno flick running at one corner of their screen. Several chatrooms and various social sites are running simultaneously. It is a very busy screen indeed. Neither the pub nor the club but the computer area in the house is the busiest of all areas for young men on the prowl for women these days.

Busy also are their hands which are frantically clicking and typing in a sweaty frenzy only leaving this task to occasionally relieve their insatiable erection's need for contact.Oh no! I'm not going to go there!You get the drift! What an image!!! They are so hungry- like those little fish.

My daughter has about 150 messages to answer at any given moment. The only break from the constant stream of young males is the occasional lesbian woman. And all these are from all over the world. So there is no real hope for many of these suitors of an actual hook up- but they still try.

For all this flurry of activity the common goal is of course reproduction. What a powerful urge it is- it is the true natural imperative. When you observe nature such as the actions of young men ( and little fish), one is awe struck. Now I know older blokes like myself were exactly the same in " Our Day" in our way of that time. I remember church was good for me.

What a sad thing to say. " In Our Day"

I gotta say (mainly to myself for some comfort): I like it that I have filled the youthful imperatives . I am past the "game". It is not so desperate now. Which is just as well. I have peace now. I am one of those big fish at the bottom. The only people who visit my various presences on the internet are men my age (looking for comfort), lonely women who are somewhat lacking in the appeal of youthful appearance and the occasional young man who clicked the wrong button in his highly agitated state and stumbled into my nether world by mistake.

I love you.

This is the one liner that arrives in profusion at my daughter's inbox and I know what inbox is on the mind of the sender. Love has nothing to do with it. Poor little fellows. Are they having a good time or are they simply lost in it?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Talking about God

I forgot to mention in the last post- Good luck to you wonderful boys and girls playing with your new toy in Geneva. The Large Hadron Collider certainly wins in the best and most expensive toy ever. Beats my slot car set for sure. You can set up some mighty prangs and you may even be able to have some really cool accidents- you know the end of the world types of ones.

And good luck with finding the God particle.

When you find it------

will I be able to have my full head of hair back please?

And then we can really get down to playing God - look out Spore there's a new game in town.

I won't be sold.

A few posts ago I mentioned a new release game called Spore. I wondered at the time if it was going to be a bore. I must admit I actually held the box in my hand last Monday in EB Games store. The box looked OK but I resisted. The reviews weren't out then. But now they are and in force. Talk about talk it up. It ranks in the 90% + range.

Reviewers obviously think it's impressive stuff because you are playing God or something and it's really pretty and different and the work of a genius etc etc and all that. But if I read between the lines when they describe the game play- well it still sounds boring. It's more of a watch me play by myself type of game. In other words you are a spectator to an ongoing computer simulation. It is a game where you don't really win or lose or die or whatever. You just watch and tweak things a little bit. I guess that's the way it is for God.

I won't be sucked in to dropping my $100 for this one. Oh no! Not me! I am not an addict. I am not an addict. I am not an addict.

Oh God help me!!!!!!

I 'm sounding like I'm an addict.

Then a little voice inside my head ------------

Maybe I could just buy it and play it for a little while and then sell it on Ebay. Or maybe I could just go ahead and download it from Pirate Bay and be a thief for just a little while and then delete it off my computer. It sounds so interesting when you read the reviews. Maybe I really need to experience this one. Maybe I have been a bit hasty in my judgement on this obvious work of a genius. Wow! That's it. I can't really talk on it until I actually have tried it for myself. It's like trying to talk about how good sex is when you are a virgin. You just can't do it.

I'm breaking into a cold sweat just thinking about how easily I could just get in the car and go down to EB Games store and slam my credit card on the counter and just you know,---------- just-------------- get it!!!!!

I gotta go now. I need the equivalent of a cold shower that a porn addict would have whilst trying to abstain from masturbation.

I hate that we are living in such a world of obviously wonderful toys. The 50's and 60's and even the 70's were so good because they sucked so bad as far as great gadgets went. They all had wonderful limitations to put you off buying them. But now, well hey!!! You can play God.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

They switched on the Large Hadron Collider (LHC)

God help us!!!!!!!!!

Oh. It's alright.

We're still here.


Well, I think we are here. I wouldn't really know where I am most of the time. It's all too fast for me. I must have a bit of Tolkein's Ent personality in me. It comes from living up here amongst the trees for so long.

And the device sends particles in opposite directions at near the speed of light and it crashes stuff into other stuff. Sounds like great fun. The resulting train wreck contains important particles to our makeup. Some of them are yet- to- be-discovered particles. Isn't that really exciting?

I've always wanted to know what particles disappeared from the top of my head that made me bald. If they find them maybe I can get them put back. I don't know how they ended up in Geneva though???

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Living in contradiction

I swear I am a split personality. No sooner have I said something about something than I find in the next moment I'm totally saying the opposite.

I think life is set up to make us go this way. One minute you're arguing black is white and the next white is black. It's a real bastard. There is a destiny switch. I know it. It's like a toggle and it constantly flips from one pole to the other .

In conversation I find no sooner have I vanquished yet another weak opponent who dared to disagree with my brilliant point of view when along comes another one. And in order to win the debate I am compelled to take the absolute opposing view to the one I just held so strongly.

What a waste of time. Much like I do here. I waste so much time in all matters. But what else are we to do with time?

I have to sit back in awe at those people around me, and they know who they are, who try and be so productive with their time. How many times do I get asked by those poor unfortunate checkout people at the register: " Are you having a busy day?" When I answer no they look at me in disgust. I am so contradictory I can't even get my shit together enough to have a busy day. What a loser I am!

At least I can crawl back home with my tail between my legs and switch on the PC, surf the Net, turn on the Foxtel tune in to the mindless crap they deal up, put on my MP3 player, sit the dog or cat or both on my lap at the one time, pick up a crochet hook and yarn and crochet----- all this I can do from a seated position and all at once.

Now that's what I call a busy day. And on top of contradicting myself the whole time---well I am a very busy boy!!!

Is Spore gonna bore

I used to be a games addict. I was one of the first to own a Commodore 64 back in the 80's.

I am an addict no more.

I held on through the early noughties for some new type of genre in games to emerge but it didn't happen.

Now I am what is to be known as a "casual" gamer as opposed to "hardcore" which is really addict.

We've all gotta sample the pleasures of the flesh don't we and we risk addiction because it feels so good. Flesh feels good.

I do keep up with the news on games however.

The latest is the most publicized title in history- Spore.

I rushed out and bought the Sims 2 and gave it away because after you have stripped off the characters and done woo hoo it is all pointless. I even tried to make my own life in it with friends as support characters- it was a lack lustre experience which was a true and genuine simulation of my real life at the time. That hurt. So I gave the game away to my teenage nieces. Girls this age seemed to really like it. Say's something about their state of mind and I won't say anything on that for fear of offending.

Now this latest one by the same genius is about playing at being God. Sounds appealing enough. Until you realize all you are doing is creating the mundane that looks wildly different. But its still mundane. And I have given away the secret in these blogs. You simply can't do better than have a life of enjoying doing tedious things and resting from that by doing crochet. Why waste your time looking at a small screen watching it do exactly the same.

It's sort of like watching porn instead of actually doing it.

The Green Goblin

I was just reading that the police are being equipped with Hummers in Melbourne CBD supposedly to look really tough and to combat the increase in brawling in the city. An off road vehicle such as the Hummer is just what is required in the heart of the city. The going can get really difficult. Things like jumping kerbs and navigating tram tracks can take its toll on a standard vehicle. The sheer all terrain capability of the Hummer is what is required for safety alone. ( wink wink).

So then I got to thinking................................................................

How tough do I look in my little Hyundai Excel? It is that bright metallic green. You know, that bug green colour?

I could be a vigilante. I could drive the streets at night in my powerful car and violent types would cringe. The sight of that car would inspire fear in their hearts.

It's like a mate said- " Lucky you shave your head Pete- you would look really femme in that car of yours otherwise."

Like most everything in my life. I bluff my way through and get away with it.

It's a skill. And I've got it. Lucky Pete!

Monday, September 8, 2008

A wish to be cool

Okay. By now it is apparent that I am a wishful thinker. What wishes do I refer to by this?

Top of the list:

To be cool forever.

Cool is an interesting word. I started to use it when I was about 18 back in 1970. And I have to say the 70's were way cooler than now.-- I get ahead of myself--

Cool, -- what is it?

I don't know but it sounds cool just saying it.

Cool is youth producing. Use it and you drink at the fountain of youth. Even today's insipid youth use it. They haven't got anything of their own so they have been forced to use it. They tried sick as a replacement- but it just sounded, -well ----sick!

What really gets me uncool though is when I see those stinking Apple vs. PC ads. In fact anything apple. As soon as Apple realised that apples are stored in a coolstore they have been using cool to try and gain advantage over all the other geek stuff. They throw cool around like they own it or something.

Firstly, there is nothing cool about a bunch of wires and plastic. Cool used to be reserved to things way beyond mundane items such as electronic gadgets. On top of this anything branded was uncool. We were hippies and didn't wish to be seem as sheep supporting big corporations by wearing brands all over us. It was more to do with true fashion- things like how wide your flairs were or how visible your penis was due to the tightness around the crotch. Or, if there was something on your clothing, it was cool words that you had personally written on it or a bit of braid that you had sewn on yourself when you were mildly sober or straight. This was the true nature of cool.

Anyway in an attempt to maintain my cool I have done the following stuff over my life:

I partied and drank tanks of alcohol over a very long period of time.
I kept my hair in the required fashion at the time and when I lost it I started to shave my head bare
I refused to do a 9 to 5 job for most of my life.
But best of all--- at age 53 I picked up the coolest of all cool skills----------wait for it--------...................................................................................................................

Crochet!!!!!!!!
Yeh!!!! That's what I'm talking about when I say coooool!!!