Friday, October 31, 2008

Falling falling falling

Dam levels are falling, value of the Aussie Dollar is falling, housing sales are falling, consumer confidence is falling.

I'm up on ladders painting the house and I hope I don't add to all the things that are falling.

I can't remember when the media had this much fun in the past. They absolutely revel in misery or at least the opportunity to spread the thought of it. They even make it difficult for a person such as I who loves being optimistic to stay so. Sometimes I feel like a Peter Pan in trying to stay young and also in holding my happy thought so that I am able to maintain attempted humour in my posts here.

Things are so stuffed up in so many areas at this time that I guess we have to laugh. Our worst nightmares seem to have a real chance of coming true. We have a choice. Feel the fear- which I suppose is the popular response for rational people - or laugh that everything could have gone so wrong.

I prefer the latter response because I am unreasonable. I wouldn't know if my arse was on fire really. Call me stupid- I do! But hey! Stuff it! It will be all over for me in a short while. I'm getting on. I will be leaving all those worries behind. Till then, as long as I have my health, someone to love and someone to love me and not being tortured by soldiers of an invading force- then, all is good.

even if all goes belly up and we end in misery and depression with a planet that can no longer support us---- you know it----- there will be dirty dishes to wash!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

World of Goo update

Disappointment: It's too easy. Fun but too easy. Kids game. The reviewers are raving giving it perfect scores. Forget it! Tetris all those years ago was the same genre of puzzle but at least it got harder. It's cute though.

I remain waiting to get excited by games again. I think we are fresh out of new ideas. Just as well - I have a chance of losing my addiction through becoming super tolerant to the drug. 30 years of playing them and I think I have had enough. Yippee!!!!

I've given up smokes, piss and now games. What's left? Oh Noooooooo! Not _ _ _ you know what!?!? Stuff that, I'd rather be dead!!!!!

Fancy Words

Having nothing better to post today I thought I would revisit my old favourite subject and that is, pretty words that are never used because no-one knows what they mean.

I confess to being somewhat of an ailurophile.

I'm not telling what it means but here's a hint: 'Tis obvious from a previous post. Here's another hint; it probably because I love the chatoyant features of the object of my fancy.

That's enough of this. Crikey! It makes a bloke's head spin- all this smart book learning speaking. I don't want to brag but, I can read and write like anything - fair dinkum! I'm an Aussie and have no need to know many words other than Mate and Gidday of course. But I do like to show off.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Back to reality

I've done all my worrying about the collapse of civilization as we know it so it's happily back to the daily grind.

My daughter continues her avid pursuit of happiness also which lays in the accumulation and screening of men. I happily observe the manoeuvrings with interest. Notice how everything is happy happy now? It is the simple things. I am so upbeat in the face of doom aren't I?

We do learn from our children------

When I was young and in the mating arena I was never interested in the problems of the world. I, like the young of today, was too involved in finding a girl. All the other things in life were a long second to this prime instinct. I see my daughter and her many suitors as a lesson-too-late for me but an interesting lesson nevertheless.

Our life is modified by the thing that is our prime concern at the time. Everything else is a distraction from the main aim. So all our actions have some kind of modification usually to our personality which flows through to our choices in life in all areas from career to how we dress. Wow! Am I deep?

So to close this off- why is it then that some men feign lack of interest in a woman who they find attractive. My daughter has a "cool" bloke in her sights at this very time. He is big with the sparse communication thing or the don't- look- too -excited disguise. Others are like those little fish I posted about some time ago- hungry and in a frenzy for her attention.

It appears we have 2 ways in the hunt then. Passive allowance or forceful aggression. Now the real question is: Are those who go for it big time less egotistic than the cool dude types? Or are they so full of themselves that they are super confidant and therefore bullet proof?

There's something really exciting for me to think about whilst I am out painting the house today. Happy days!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Common Errors in English

Gidday highbrows. You may have noticed my ability to write in a colourful way. The description colourful is my way of covering up my poor standard in writing skills. It has been a long time since I opened an English text book. I found this site to help in my wish to be more adept.

However the most common error in the use of English is this: The use of words to convey ideas.

I reckon the Monty Python boys had it right. We would be better off using semaphore most of the time as English clearly doesn't work.

Just look at the mess in the English speaking world at present.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Rumination

I escaped for a moment from my game. My addiction is really bad. I thought I had defeated it. I have overcome smokes and beer in my past but not the addiction to games. It lasted through the whole give up thing. The only reason that I thought I had overcome this addiction is because no-one had made an addictive game for quite a long while. Do not , I repeat, do not get World of Goo! If you do your life is over until you have finished all levels and that will take some time because you will want to keep repeating the same levels because there are so many ways to solve the puzzles.

If you want a food equivalent to this game think Pods or Cashew nuts.

Anyway I'm back on deck for the moment.

Rumination is covered in this article.

I must say that I don't agree with the bit that says women mainly ruminate. Crap! I know plenty of guys of all ages who ruminate and no it's not that I'm mixing it up with that other word that ends in ate.

Rumination has brought much of the society to ruination in my humble opinion. We have been bogged down by chewing the same chaff over and over for centuries. We think it's all so new now. No it's not. Buried under all the modern notions is some person's rules fostered by rumination.

this is why I crochet and enjoy doing the dishes. At least something gets done whilst I ruminate. Better than just ruminating. God how many words do we have in the English language that mean exactly the same thing. Somebody ought to ruminate on our dictionary and jettison the cruft.

World of Goo

I have a new drug. World of Goo. The Game. You won't be seeing many posts from me whilst I am playing this one. You will notice that there is no humour in this post.

Games are very serious business for me. This is the most addictive game I have played since Boulder Dash in the Commodore 64 days in the 80's.

Re-read my older posts in the meantime- see ya !!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Step by step

I really feel like I am getting somewhere in my postings. Possibly I would be the only one. But it is all coming together in my mind believe me. I can feel it.

Whilst the mainstream media has a field day with all this money trouble I have resolutely stayed true to my commitment and that is to the small things.

I know that for most individuals really, the daily life is repetition of small and insignificant things. We think that we mean more than we do.

So many people hold onto the belief that there is a meaning to our existence. They hold that there is a purpose which we don't understand and it will only become clear at some point in their future. And staying with truly rational thought they believe that all will be revealed when there is a post mortem performed on them by the creator.

well, I have to say that I have reached that future point in time. I have discovered the meaning of life.

Here we go again- enlightenment for you yesterday- the meaning of life today.


wait for it:


??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

The answer is the question and the question is the answer.

Isn't that deep?

Go ahead and think about that one--- for the rest of your life.

Monday, October 20, 2008

True Enlightenment

This post is for those lucky few who have been patient (or stupid) enough to read my humble blog. It is your payoff- yes- you can breathe a sigh of relief and be content in the knowledge that you haven't been wasting your time.

Enlightenment is here for you.

Drink it up you thirsty people!

When you turn on a light switch- there be light!

That's it!

Don't you feel great Now?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Ready-Set-Go

Ready?

Set?

Wait for it-----


Worry!!!----- You idiot!!!----- Worry!

No. Hang on. It's okay. Just keep spending and it will be okay. No wait.

You better sell up now. It's all going to hell. We're trying to hold it all together but it's all going down---- no ---- nooo------it's all right again. It's calming down today.

Phew. I thought it was all going to crash- but no it was just looking bad at the time that's all.

No!! Here it goes again; there's no stopping it this time: it's all going to hell big time---

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Dramatic isn't it?


The above is my interpretation of the 60 Minutes segment on the economy tonight - the segment preceding it was an very interesting look at the Great White Shark. Do you think they programmed this deliberately or was it just co-incidence?

Boy! They know how to terrify!




Friday, October 17, 2008

Hidden Truth

The keen observer won't be fooled by my upbeat and sometimes humorous daily writings. He will know that if you read between the lines I am really just holding it together all be it in a jovial fashion.

Ok. It's all out in the open now. I really am a worked up piece of work trying my best to keep everyone of the opinion that I can cope. I really can't and I am just pretending. I have this constant feeling of butterflies in my guts and the cold sweats happen regularly. It's a natural reaction to being dumped here in this reality from God knows where and being expected to cope.

In order to keep people from guessing the truth I go to extreme measures. I am like the comedian who has been tickled by one of his own jokes but as part of the show has to keep a straight face. It works pretty well for me though. I have been blessed with a real poker face. Maybe I should play the game, maybe there's some money in my face after all- certainly wouldn't be from modeling.

And whilst I am letting it all hang out here are some more truths:

I fucking hate housework!!!! I really really fucking hate it with all my heart. This includes those fucking bloody dishes. It pisses me right off having to do them all the time. It is not funny that our real life is just doing the dirty fucking dishes all the fucking time. When I do them I am seething with anger at the total waste of my precious time.

And I feel so undervalued by others. No-one seems to be interested in my life because they are so interested in their own life- - - -- --- all the fucking time. And they are like me, tiny little fish in a big pond of shit swimming around eating shit and being ignored whilst the super fat fish have bought wings from their vast wealth. Then have turned into flying fat fish leaving us to swim around in the shit forever whilst we watch with envy as they get fatter and fatter and yet still fly. We watch their lives but no-one watches our lives. Fuck them! They never wash dishes because they employ a million shit kickers like us to do it for them. They have far more important things to do like making their next million by a simple phone call- not by doing dishes.

But the biggest problem I have is not knowing if this is really the way I am always or is it just how I feel at this moment. I don't understand how people can make permanent statements about themselves. Things like saying:

I am always like this or I will never or would never do this or that, think this or that - you know they seem to have perfect unalterable grasp on themselves and things around them.

How can anyone be so set in concrete?

How can someone never vacillate in this life?

How can anyone be unwavering in their opinions and beliefs when life in itself seems to set about the task of demonstrating our impermanence and the fragility of our opinions?

I think their notions of permanence are just their wishful thinking, or our old friend delusional thinking brought on by the state or situation of the moment.

All I know is I hate doing dishes or rather I love to hate doing the dishes or I really like doing the dishes because it gives me an excuse not to achieve anything great in my life or I hate and love doing the dishes in a quantum way both at the same time and it is only after I observe the dishes that the reality collapses into hate or love etc etc .

There I go- one side of the fence to the other or both sides at once by balancing on the fence is more like it.

Basically I think life is unfair and that is unfair. So there!!!

I feel so much better now.

Better get to washing those dishes again.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Trimming

Here's another little beauty from Alan Kohler from Business Spectator- told you I was going to get some meat from this site:

About 65 per cent of internet traffic is copyright piracy and pornography. Much of the other 35 per cent is just entertainment – YouTube, Facebook – and emails.

What national benefit is there in increasing the speed of piracy, porn, YouTube and emails – and not even by very much?

Certainly it’s hard to see $15 billion worth of benefit

Before the economic collapse this worthless spending was a given- now---well at last. Is this a sign of the end of the exorbitant waste?

Really the old dial-up would do for the real things we need to do on the internet during the day.

Porn????

What the hell is up with people????

Give me a good crochet site anyday- but I guess I'm just sick!

I'm crazy

“If you are not fearful, you’re crazy.”

That’s what JPMorgan chief Jamie Dimon said last night during his third quarter results conference call. Source Alan Kohler- Business Spectator

Ain't this what the World is all about brothers and sisters?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

How we handle known problems

Governments of the developed world understand that the planet is in trouble from our excesses. They are troubled somewhat or more likely a little concerned by it and seem to have been able to procrastinate on the tough decisions required to address the problems for many years now.

Last year it was known that the economy of America was in trouble. In the usual human manner there was no action by governments until it had totally collapsed.

Is this the way it will go with the planet too?

Let's see them try to pump prime a dying planet.

No amount of money will fix it then and it is coming like this economic collapse. And we will handle it the same way. When it's totally fucked we will fix it then. OK?- Somehow I don't think so!

Sorry just broke my own rules. Too serious!

Back to the dishes.

Serious

Any reader of my humble posts here may notice that all of my writings share a common thread. They have a less than serious nature.

For many years being serious was a bad habit I possessed. I picked it up from others over my life.

Being serious is infectious.

I abandoned this trait some years ago. I did this when I realized that every time I became serious about something it appeared to go totally belly up shortly after. See I have observed that order would rather go to chaos. But in this chaos is perfect order as I will demonstrate later. The hard work we perceive we must do to maintain order in our lives is really a matter of holding back the tide. This is what my thing about dishwashing is all about for instance. The task of keeping order is relentless. It is so relentless that it is hilarious.

If I were to draw an allegory to clarify my meaning here it would be this:

The life we have is like a hedge. The serious lofty efforts we make in trying to raise above the box formed by the hedge are like those runaway growths. They must be cut back. A nicely shaped box hedge is much better than an unkept scraggly one after all. So the creator or whatever seems to have put a nice leveler in place. Now, by dropping off all those notions of grandiose ambition I held in the past I always fit into that nicely kept hedge. I clip those runaway upstarts as soon as they appear. Nothing like a bit of pruning to keep order in the garden I always say.

Also, being serious about oneself fits into the orderly life box and is firmly tied up with the person who refuses to be embarrassed about themselves. Serious people avoid embarrassment by keeping things within acceptable parameters. Silliness is to be avoided of course. That blush you get after it has been shown that you are capable of taking things too lightly is a dead giveaway that you've been caught out not being serious enough. You then have to seriously pull your act together to show that you are a serious thus orderly and in control person.

I sort of stumbled upon this secret. Since my blood pressure medication makes me blush and therefore look perpetually embarrassed I have no need for being serious anymore. So I am not serious now and the funny thing is everything seems to run smoothly when once it really didn't.

It's pretty fucked up here on planet Earth when the person who tries really hard gets screwed over and the person who has dropped the bundle skates through smoothly. So it is probably best to just laugh your way through it all. It's all over in a fairly short duration of time and you can't be too serious when you know you end up dead- seriously dead- anyway.

I have broken through the illusion and I know the tricks. You've got it now too. Good luck with it all.

Fooled ya!!! Surely you didn't think I was serious?

I forgot who I am

Blessed are the meek- for they shall inherit the Earth.

Kevin Rudd is raising the up the meek by guaranteeing their deposits and letting them inherit the earth (for a while at least). With Kevin Rudd, everyone’s a winner. Quote Alan Kohler Business Spectator

And we get $1400 for Christmas.

It's great living in a Christian based society.

And I've put myself down for the last time. I'm not weak- I'm meek!!!

I'm a meek geek!!!

And both those things inherit the Earth apparently.

Maybe Earth just means a handful of dirt though.

Christmas Bonus

Thank you Mr. Rudd

I was very excited by the announcement that we pensioners are getting a Christmas present from our prime minister this year. Maybe $1400. Wow!

What's the catch? None by the looks of it. But we have to guarantee to spend it. That's a big ask. Lots of presents this year. For many pensioners it will be fed into where it is most needed- the Pokie machine.

Yep. I felt pretty good about this economic crisis. I thought it was all doom and gloom but no! It's great! If the good times had just kept rolling on like they were a couple of weeks ago, pensioners would have been struggling. Now it's all good. Just as well there was an economic downturn.

Every cloud has a silver lining. Like I said. Even this life based on doing the dishes and other such mundane tasks all day every day, can be a very rewarding experience. It just depends on how you see things. You simply have to think all bad things are good really and all good things bad. See! Simple! When the shit hits the fan- enjoy wearing it- don't complain.

You know? Being a bottom feeding idiot helps me to cope. So being a bad thing is good. See? Works every time.

Always look at the bright side of life-- de dumb de dumpty dumpty dumb ( Repeat) etc etc.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

What am I thinking about now?

Shit! This is serious.

What's it going to be like when the governments of the world own the banks?

Is that free enterprise or big brother?

I better stop washing the dishes and take a closer look.

Nah! Stuff it! All this stuff will go away but the dishes won't.

Overthinking in warp drive

All this economic stuff has me well and truly buzzing with thoughts of doom and gloom.

Thoughts like: How am I going to afford dishwashing liquid now ?
Just when I need new pegs- the money dries up. And all these worrying types of thoughts.

But i notice also that it's yo-yo time. One minute up next minute down. Stocks arising then stocks a falling. Record levels up record levels down. I would like to know when to stop worrying but no-one appears to have the answer.

Because no-one has the answer to this question: What is money? I can't answer that of course because I've never really had much of the stuff. Artists, in financial terms, are all show and no go and probably the same in pretty much everything else in their lives too.

But for Mr. wage earner the answer to this question is that it used to be the pretty coloured paper and shiny metal disks he was given after doing some meaningless thing another person wanted him to do for a week. This thing he does is also probably not what the earner would choose to do in a week of his life if he didn't want these bits of paper. These days the bits of paper start as a number that only appears on a slip of paper his paymaster gives him. This number which is a number to two decimal places with a $ sign in front of it somehow ends up in a place where he thinks it will safely stay and be cared for by people who know all about money. This place is called the bank and it is the thing that is now not safe for some reason. He can then put a plastic card in some kind of bank machine and get out the coloured paper which is magically created by the machine. Only then does he see money for what it is. Nothing actually but paper yet something people want really really badly. They will give him anything providing he has enough of these bits of paper so that the person with the stuff he would like to have believes that he can swap the papers for the item in question.

There.

Isn't that simple. You can now see that I am actually a really good writer can't you? And in the process I just worked out what money is.

Here in 2008 we are still doing very simple things in our life. Everything when boiled down to it is made of coloured paper. The only time that this paper becomes useless to us is when we die. And no amount of the coloured paper is going to stop this from happening to us. So in the end it is useless. But whilst we are alive it is the one thing that dictates how our life will go. This really does sound strange doesn't it.

I see however that it is the thing that stops us from simply killing each other in competition over food and such- it keeps us civilized- though it doesn't really do that neither does it?

God I'm mixed up! What is money again?

Monday, October 13, 2008

Down among the dumb men

I think there was a song in the 60's entitled "Down among the dead men".

Anyway that's not what this gem of thinking is about.

Firstly welcome back my beautiful Deb. I missed you reading my silly little blog. I will never insult you again with thoughtless utterances on this blog. I'm a naughty boy as you know and sometimes I just get carried away with showing how naughty I am. I can hardly (emphasis on hardly) wait for my spanking.

Now back to it:

I have recently joined up with the Business Spectator. Yes! It is free, yet it is to do with watching business and it is bloody great. Can you believe it? Free and great.www.businessspectator.com.au/

Now, be warned. I am known for drawing the totally wrong conclusion from all data I observe. You may have noticed this by now if you have been stupid enough to read this crap here. So now I will be sprouting all kinds of badly drawn and irrelevant conclusions spawned from my reading the reports authored by the illustrious economists who operate the site.

Oh you lucky readers!!!!

Give up now- go wash some dishes! Do something useful. Don't let me waste your time.

Time is precious. It's all I have! So it must be.

O Yeah! I knew it!

Somehow the genius quants — the best and brightest geeks Wall Street firms could buy — fed $1 trillion in subprime mortgage debt into their supercomputers, added some derivatives, massaged the arrangements with computer algorithms and — poof! — created $62 trillion in imaginary wealth.

The whole article in the New York Times is here

This is what I have been rattling on about over several clumsy posts of recent. If I was a real writer this is how I would have put it so everyone would get it.

Smart-arses/ try-hards, they are the ones that dupe the world into all its troubles and we the sheep ----- well you know the story.

And this will never stop as long as man roams this planet which won't be for long that for sure!

Baldness Gene

Man! They find a gene for everything don't they?

I have been blessed with some very bad genes. But they have been put to good use.

The first one is our old friend HLAB 27. Yep!. I'm so lucky. This tricky little fellah gives me that wonderful curved back. The look that I am so obsessed with my feet I can't stop looking at them. The other one is the one which shall remain nameless at this time- but it rids the head of its annoying hair over time. So now I can look at my feet and blind people who look my way from the glare shining off of my shiny scone. All in all it stops any chance of me being voted a middle aged sex symbol.

But I've had my share of good looks. When I had hair I wore it long- very long. People looked at me then and I was often embarrassed. See I have the blushing gene too. Now I have rosey cheeks sort of an exploding- thermometer- red. You get the picture? I look like some bald Santa glowing and hunched. Yep the image just gets better and better don't it?

I'm one lucky fellah. See I reckon the creator has dealt me the nasty ones that only effect the way I look. And luckily my wonderful lady likes the way I look so no problem. So I think the chances of getting all the really nasty ones may be made slim because of this. I know I know! It doesn't follow. But hey! It helps me live happily looking the way I do.

Delusion is a great substitute for prozac. And it's free!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Try Hard

I am a try hard. I am not really very good at anything much but I try hard.

This blog is an attempt at being a funny smart-arse writer. I know. It fails miserably.

The one thing I forgot about when I started this is that you have to be smart in order to be a smart-arse.

I'm left with just being an arse. Plain and simple.

But I am honest. Unlike those smart arses in Wall street who still try and hold onto the myth that they are smart-arses.

Here's my try-hard attempt at poetry:

Down among the dumb men, there we be.

Down among the dead men, there we will be;

Eventually.


Clever by half but stupid by the score.

Smug in our delusion fed by confusion

Mankind's foolishness comes to the fore.

Means nothing but sounds great!

What a try hard I am!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Party is over.

We're going broke. The whole world not just me is going broke. At last. I have a reason to stop spending. No money.

Of course I never really had any money in the first place, instead I have been selling off the bricks in my house.

The Age says everyone else in Australia has done the same-I knew it- that's how they get those new expensive cars all the time- they're really driving around in converted bricks.

Says it all here:

And then there is the matter of the current account. Australia's ability consistently to import more than it exports, yet grow its economy for 17 consecutive years, has been the stuff of economic legend.

The consumption economy, however, has saddled us with a bucket of debt - most of which is held as home mortgages that banks have had to go to the global capital markets to provide.



Now that the party is over I reckon I might just sit here in a darkened room and wait till the lights go on again. Then borrow some more from our friendly benefactors- the bank- and spend again.

Till then- the party is over! See ya on the flip side!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Orderly blogging

I really should pull this blog into some kind of order.

Nah! I like its whimsy and chaotic nature!

Even if I did put it in order no-one would visit as it would seem everyone knows bullshit when they see it .

Small things

Recently I upset my special person by mentioning in a post (which I have now removed) that the sight of certain large objects imbued happiness.

This got me to thinking about another famous saying my mother had:

Small things amuse small minds.

I guess conversely big things amuse big minds but of course we know this isn't true or all readers of girlie mags would be absolute geniuses- and I suppose some maybe are but all of them?- no way! And the majority? --draw your own conclusions.

My blog here sits in the former of course.

Anyway this morning I noted that famous Steve Jobs has won his nine year battle to hold a patent on the Dock on the Mac operating system.

Boy- you can make a fortune out of small things can't you?

I have to say- the whole Apple thing is based on making huge amounts off of small things. Eye candy is very small unimportant stuff in real terms but they blow it up to must- have proportions.
The Apple product design criteria appears to be

1.You are an idiot more interested in how something looks rather than what it does.

2.You are scared of complex things and need have no idea of our magnificent machine's inner workings and we can hide it with pretty stuff so you feel more at ease.

3.The majority of tasks on our magnificent machine performed by the majority of idiots (and yes the majority are idiots) are in fact basically at best pointless such that they really don't need to be done in the first place.

4.But, wow! You can look pretty damn good while your doing it. So you may as well look good . Because you can!

For instance; I typed all this stuff on my XP PC. It is pointless and useless and I don't even look good whilst I do it on my boring beige setup. I don't even have a Dock on my screen. What an absolute loser!!!!

I can imagine all those brandophrenic sMACheads squirming at what I have written here. They must justify their premium spent hard-won earnings. Being sucked in is the ultimate embarrassment as we know. Quality (eg. Mac vs PC) is always money well spent isn't it? Pay that extra- you'll feel so much more intelligent if you do. We know you're not- just gullible is all.

Don't get sucked in!

Sweating the small stuff is what it is all about. Distraction from being actually productive is what it is all about. Playing with toys is what it is all about.

Small things do amuse small minds.

Just look at me! I am amused because I have restricted myself severely to only doing very small things. And yes I have a really small mind and I am thankful for it.

And because in fact we are here for the grand purpose of life which is to live, nothing else really, then we may as well be amused whilst we are doing it. See it sort of all washes down to nothing in the end. I have realized that at the tender age of 56. If you stop pump priming your every moment you end up at rest. Rest is good. But that's subject of another future riveting post.

At least with my other passion, crochet, I end up with a hat at the end of my amusing time with a hook and yarn. But I'll press on here. I'm sure I will say something funny soon. Or maybe not- who cares?

But what do you end up with after a couple of hours on this computer thing? Sore eyes ,cramps in the neck and a fed addiction. That's it. A fed addiction!!!!

But if your on a Mac you also look great whilst you're getting the pain and you've got that marvelous fucking Dock to play with for hours on end. Makes you want to run your cursor over it just thinking about it right now eh? The way it sort of magnifies as you do it- isn't it just so cool? Over and over and over again!

Well it's out to the workshop to look at all my idle tools whilst they rest in their place ( Dock) on the shelves. They look so pretty laying there. I chose all the nice colours. Then I could play Mac Dock by going along the shelf and picking each one up in turn and putting them down again but not actually doing anything by using them.

Over and over and over again. It makes doing nothing so worthwhile.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Who makes the rules?

Whilst I was dressing today I got this:

Why is the tuck in so embarrassingly uncool now? When did the rule start that we are no longer permitted under the rules of modern dress to tuck in our shirt ,t shirt,top or whatever?

Who made this rule or worse how do I know without ever being told ;

Is it a directly implanted thought put there by the aliens surrounding the planet from their intergalactic motherships. Directive to earthlings: don't tuck in your tops!!

Or worse: Did God add to the list of 10? Thou shalt not tuck in thy tops!!!

I dunno but I sort of find it to be a worry and at the same time I am not prepared to risk the ridicule of going out with a tuck in visible.

I feel a little bit rebellious today:

I will tuck in my t shirt but wear a windcheater over it that way I have the best of both worlds.

I am such a rebel

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Black Holes in the home

I have one and I think everyone has one- your own personal black hole right in your own home.

They only need two conditions to exist- the presence of young females and a pair of scissors.

I know it sounds pretty far-fetched but it's true!

These two things create black holes in the home.

And how do I know this?

Well over my years in my home I have had a daughter and many many pairs of scissors. At certain times when I need a pair of scissors they have all mysteriously gone missing.

I keep my pairs of scissors in the same place all the time. I buy scissors in those packets of 5. It's easier that way because I always anticipate that a black hole will form somewhere in my home so one does need many pairs of scissors at any given time just for backup for when one goes in.

I watch my scissors at their special place like a person with OCD. They are always there when I look. They are waiting for my need for them patiently.

But every time I go to get the scissors because I need to open some plastic food parcel and such, They Are Gone!!! They only disappear when you need them and this ties up with the Quantum Physics thing about spooky action at a distance.

The rule is they are there until your consciousness sends out the thought that you need scissors and Poof! They are gone. Just like that!

My girlfriend had the same thing happen to her yesterday whilst I was there so I know this probably happens to everyone.

And the X factor is:

Young females.

Every time I have heard of this type of thing, there is one common condition. The presence of young women.

It must be some kind of psychokinetic thing.

The black hole attracts the scissors to them and they are sucked into another dimension.

Black holes must need scissors in order to survive just like we do.

I wonder if they have young women in the other dimension that keeps losing their scissors for them too? This is probably why they form in our homes- to pinch our scissors.

Anyway I've got another pack of 5 on my shopping list now so better get off and get them.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Ooh a new word for insult

Some people are so intellectual. They possess words in their vocabulary that I don't even know exist.

Here's today's word then.

Curmudgeon.

Apparently uttered by an ABC radio presenter ( of course) to some famous person in an interview which ended badly.

I'm not going to tell you what it means. It would ruin your fun.

Thank God. I thought the modern way was to rid the world of the use of such words. But no. They are still alive. We still need a dictionary even if now it exists only in cyberspace.

The joy of scurrying around looking for the meaning of an insult would be denied to us if the modern world had its way.

The other c word is the usual insult I have encountered in my life. It is much shorter and so much more direct. It is the ultimate in crass. But it has no mystery to it. It is devoid of any kind of joy because of that.

I don't know about you but I find a certain success when someone loses it enough to insult me. I get this sort of inner glow. Like a smirk on the inside. It means I have pushed a very interesting button and they are totally vulnerable to me.

In males this is a particularly victorious result. And if you manage to avoid or even go with the resulting blows and punches it can be a very elevating experience.

How is it elevating. Well it gives one a sign that everyone isn't asleep in this world. It breaks apathy which reigns supreme in these troubled times.

Curmudgeon. Curmudgeon. I will have to practice this one until it flows as freely as that other word.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

I must comment on this

In today's Age newspaper:
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What men and women want: Australian Happiness Index

  • October 2, 2008 - 8:32AM

Australian men are happiest when they are having sex or surfing the net, but women prefer to get their endorphins racing by having meals with friends and petting their pooches, according to the 2008 Australian Happiness Index.

Rest, relaxation and entertainment topped the list for both men and women in the index, with quality time with your partner also making the top four for each sex.

But that's where the similarities end.

Sex ranks as a top five activity to make men happy and surfing the internet tops even that at number three.

Sex and the internet were also top 10 choices for women to make them happy, but enjoying a family meal and playing with pets or children ranked much higher.

Eating comfort food scored in the top 10 for both sexes, but the more discerning men questioned said they preferred great food and wine or drinking with friends to reaching for the chocolate.

Despite urban myths to the contrary, shopping does not make all women happy - only 30 per cent were happiest when shopping for new clothes, shoes or accessories.

It may come as little surprise that just 14 per cent of men were happiest when shopping.

One in two women said reading a good book made them happy whereas less than one in three men said the same, and 36 per cent of generous-natured women said buying gifts made them feel joyful, compared to a miserly 19 per cent of men.

The index was compiled by marketing consultants The Leading Edge who spoke to more than 8,500 Australians aged between 18 and 64.

"Australians are made happy on a week-to-week basis, not by possessions and achievements, but by entertaining experiences and by meaningful interactions with others," The Leading Edge managing director Karen Phillips said.

The index has been designed as a marketing tool to give businesses a better picture of their target customers.

AAP

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Here on this blog I have been trying to exercise my sense of the absurd. But this article outdoes my feeble efforts on all levels- well, not so much the article more the survey results and the journo who actually puts it up as valid news.

Everyone knows that spending money is easily the most popular way to make yourself happy. This survey is so obviously flawed.

According to the article men are such gorillas aren't they? And women are so noble by comparison.

They are all virgins you know. Pure as the driven snow!

All this article shows is that fibbing is the favoured pastime for most people or, equally, deluding themselves. In the end that is what happiness actually is; delusion.

I love being a delusional fool. As my mum used to say, ignorance is bliss.

Anyway sex sells as we already knew and the most popular place at the shopping centres should be the bookshops. All the women should be in there and the guys are in there because all the women are in there. Funny though, I always observe hordes of women in the cheap fashion shops and the guys are in the electronics stores.

No wonder Wall Street is in trouble. Business simply doesn't have a clue on what we want to make us happy.

Life without fear of some horrible end looming all the time and a healthy planet that can sustain it would be a good start.

Happiness must be a very fleeting thing. We men can't have sex 24/7 more like, 7 minutes if we think about the latest tax rulings whilst doing it, then what , surf the net for porn trying to get worked up again? Based on that, I reckon it seems more of an anxiety based pastime than a happy one. We may be like the male Australian Brown Antechinus - they root till they die from exhaustion.

But it would be a happy death.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

What's happening in America?

It's a meltdown.

Greedy people have finally finished the cake right off.

Tough times require drastic action so I've been practicing my communication with the spirit new age type of stuff. And it's really working. I have been inspired by Team Doom who I wrote about a few days back. It seems to them that the more you embrace the end of time disasters the closer you get to a state of spiritual enlightenment.

So here goes with my first channeling thingy. Hope you like it.

Hate to say it but- Looks like we may need another war to get the global economy rolling again. These little skirmishes like Iraq and such are just not doing the job are they. The gloves have gotta come off on a global scale before we will get any kind of real growth.

Luckily Russia is back to cracking its knuckles and flexing its muscles again. They've obviously seen the light too.

I know. I know. We've been distracted haven't we? This global warming thing is a sort of a war but its simply not doing the job. It was a good idea at the time. Yeah. A war against the environment. That sounded good way of getting the economy kicked on. But it's just not quick enough. Nothing beats a good nuke in the morning does it?

Then I asked spirit who I was talking to:

My name?-----------------------------------



Doctor Strangelove