Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Distraction

Do you feel like there is something you gotta do but you are always being distracted? Phone calls, texts, emails, people dropping in, family wanting your attention all that and then dishes and more dishes and lawns to mow and an aand,,,,,,, everything. Well I did- past tense. I did.

Now that I' m all alone at last, I am struggling to find the thing that I always thought I was being distracted from doing for all those years. How's that for fucking weird! After all my bitching about interruption and getting pissed off about so many things to do before I could do the thing I really wanted to do and being too busy doing meaningless shit and all that---- well it made me fucking forget what I really wanted to do in the first place. That's fucked!

I'm sitting here thumb- in- bum- and- mind- in- neutral. How totally fucked is that? It's poetic justice. It just goes back to the old whatever we are doing is not what we are supposed to be doing thing.

Looks like dishes is what we are really supposed to be doing. Everything else is purposeless.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Have you been sabotaged today?

Okay here's what the inner voice is saying for today. " That will not happen. Whatever you're thinking. It will not happen."

You heard the same thing yesterday. And the day before and the day before and.......... every day before that.

He is the internal saboteur. We all have him inside us.

On top of this helpful insight I give this to help you on your day. He is right!

So get over it- and go ahead and do whatever you want to do anyway.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Resuming my life

My life has been on hold for 26 years. This is the time it took for me to finally clear out the house I bought all those years ago of all other family members. Wife left 3 years ago. She was the first canary to fly. daughter is leaving next Tuesday. So my job of being a husband and a father is over.

I am left to continue with my over thinking and I will not be interrupted by the constant needs of others as is the case when one has family around them. Ooh! It's scary to have such freedom again. My posts here will become very confronting and possibly very weird from then on.

You ain't seen nothing yet.

Dishes as art

I have finally found the perfect painting. It states the philosophy I have tried to preach here in one perfect image. The artists name Ian Schnabel a self proclaimed genius.

I must agree.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Fresh start- clean slate

I see that TV has another one of those docos scientifically examining the bible being some kind of factual account of things that happened in the past. Oh yawn!

Recently I have begun feeling invaded. No I don't mean that I have aliens standing at the end of my bed ( But this is no more fantastic than the myth of Christmas mind you). But i feel more that my parents allowed my developing mind to be subject to an implantation of a meme. You know, a virus of the mind. In fact this practice continues at this very time of scientific enlightenment. How can we allow this terrible thing to happen to our children? And people think it is good!!!

Are we ever going to evolve as an intelligent species or are we forever going to be caught infecting each new generation with the myths that religion perpetuates?

As I have said before, I do believe in an intelligence behind all this life. I do believe in purpose and meaning. I do believe in goodness and love. I do believe in an afterlife. I do believe I have a personal connection to God/ the creator/ universal conciousness /force or whatever you would call it. I feel it strongly and I am reminded almost every day through lots of coincidences that are simply beyond coincidence to my mind. But I just can't come at the religious myths as being factual accounts of what really happened in the past. I have cleaned the slate of recent on all this type of belief and I don't feel guilty in the least.

This lack of guilt was the most difficult part of the whole exercise because this is the worst part of the whole religious myth. It says basically if you don't believe the myth then you are forever lost because you are wrong and do not have the truth or worse you have rejected the truth and because of this damned for eternity because you are not one of the saved people. This is the nastiest mind trick of the whole thing. This is the one that keeps the whole myth from going the way it should- into the past.

Now I feel like a freshly washed dish. And I sparkle.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Australia the moderate and moderated country

I am happy to be an Aussie. I know I live in probably the most comfortable nation on the planet at this time in human history. Until today. We are going to be subjected to big brother telling us what we can and can't see on the internet.

Yes we are too comfortable and when that happens we get sleepy.

There is a simple principle that I hold to- leave the Internet alone- I want anarchy in one place only- the Internet. It is important to have one place where we know there are no restrictions. Like in the movie 2010 I say to this government

- all of these worlds are yours except this one-

the internet.

I hope there are some really smart people out there who can teach this government a bloody good lesson. I want all their sites hacked to the shithouse until they back off from this ridiculous and meddlesome task.

Yes the internet and anarchy has its risks and it's not all good. But the real good of it is the total freedom it represents. This pitiful protect the children battle cry that politicians bandy around for their curbing of our freedom, yet again, doesn't hold up. It will do nothing mark my words. The governement should leave parenting to the parents of this nation.

Next you will see the overthinking man in handcuffs for putting up a subversive blog. Yeah right!

Monday, December 14, 2009

A zombie time of year

Christmas is upon me. I am out with the mass of people in the shopping centre frantically trying to get the gift buying thing out of the way. I know I should be more cheerful- but I just want this part of it out of the way. It really makes me edgy. And for all the over choice we seem to enjoy during the year in our addiction to spending, there seems to be a sort of sameness to the gift ideas of this year to that of last. And it is sort of limited unless you wish to spend serious money on each person.

The weird thing is though, I usually love to go out spending. Any excuse and I will rush out and spend. But when you feel compelled to do it, well, that's a whole different thing. No- one tells me what to do. Right? Wrong.

Freedom. Forget it. We are zombies. We march out and we do as we are told. Spend. Spend now. OK. Spend now even though the prices are all temporarily inflated. OK. Spend now on stuff that people will unwrap, look at and then forget for the rest of their lives. OK.

Legend would have it that it is to do with celebrating the birth of a guy who ended up a zombie- no disrespect intended. Mind you , there is absolutely no hard historical evidence that this guy ever actually lived in the first place so the zombie thing may be just a myth. It is a matter of taking that on faith. But it is a sort of fully zombie thing isn't it? We act like zombies going in for the whole thing in mindlessly doing what has been done for centuries without question. And then you think in terms of giving the perfect gift. The perfect gift for this planet at this time is to cut back on consumption and things that cause unnecessary consumption like Christmas would be best put a whole other way. It would be best to say to our fellow man. Don't give gifts anymore just wish everyone around you peace on Earth but do the Earth the biggest service you could in its troubled times. Don't massively consume on a global scale such as they would have that this season requires. The bloke who's life we apparently celebrate didn't mass consume did he? Apparently he lived as a poor person. He taught a non material message of care. Care without presents. Sorta says something about the incongruous nature of the yearly event.

And if we keep up this out of control consumerism then we truly are the walking dead. Our time will soon come to an end. Not consuming at Christmas- now that would be a real celebration- if we were a logical species that is. And we most certainly are not.

Merry Christmas.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Living with unpredictability

We want it.
We need it.
We can't have it.

Therefore---------
We cry out.
We get angry.
We get drunk.

What is it?

Knowing our future.

I know my future.

Dishes then death.

So

I cried out
I got angry
I got drunk.

Then I didn't.

I still do dishes.
I will still die.

So what?

The end



Not really - I'll be back.

Gentleness

Manners have been abandoned as they appear to be unnecessary. It is no longer the measure of a man as to whether he is well mannered or not. Knowing where to start when confronting more than a knife and fork placed in front of you at the table is unimportant. It is more a matter of comical confusion. Oh by the way. When facing an array of eating irons as you well may at a decent quality restaurant, work from the outside in. It's all you have to remember but even that seems too difficult or of course unimportant for the simians with money these days. I know I shouldn't say such things as it is disrespectful to my fellow. But honestly, it doesn't take much to be a little classy in the matters of polite behaviour. We have put a torch to the old school ways but I really think we have lost much that is endearing about the past. The main thing being gentleness. It has been harped on by old people over the generations but now I think it has finally come to an end. It's been clearly disposed of with a label of obsolete bullshit.

i know in my youth I hated all the ostentatious crap my mother went on about. But as I grow older I realize that was simply the shortsightedness of youth. There is a whole gentle and orderly style of living which many have lost because they have embraced the TV lifestyle. The culture of the home now revolves around the glowing screen. Concentration on anything that relates to manners, style, ritual, embellishment of an ordinary thing like dining with the family is gone. The screen continues to glow and all at the table stare blankly at it. The act of eating is in the large part secondary and what goes on at the table at the time is unimportant. The screen is important. We don't want to miss a thing.

The correct adjective is genteel. i want to be a genteel person as I grow older. I am most assuredly out of practice or really I never was but I want to give it a go. I have done all the tough boy stuff. It has done nothing for me. It hasn't gained me any respect at least. And when I say this I don't mean respect from others, rather, I mean respect from myself.

Suddenly in my life, I wish to be more well mannered and mild. I wish to be orderly and calm. I want to be all those things that I considered best left to wimpy men. Oh fuck yeah! Oops. I beg your pardon. I will get the hang of it------ Oh gosh. That's better-- what a surprise!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Fooling ourselves

I knew it. Men think they are smarter than women--- but aren't. Here's the article I'm just normal/average intelligence but have always felt pretty much bloated in this area. Typical of a man. There's nothing new or advantageous in the knowledge of it but some scientist got research money doing a survey of it. Wow.

Common thinking

I woke up this morning thinking about what many people think about. The first was Jesus Christ. I immediately, on impulse and for no known reason, googled, as I have done before, Jesus Christ Myth. That really opened up a heap of links. Too many to be of any use really and all of them taking one side, yes the man really lived and no he was a myth. The problem with the resourcefulness of the Internet at our disposal is that we now have a sea of opposing opinions to wade through before we can make up our mind on anything. Also it is only going to get worse. On the subject itself, I would say that in my opinion the man was a myth. I'm a party pooper for all my good Christian friends including my beautiful girlfriend but I am sorry to say that I have found nothing to support the actual existence of Jesus. Mind you, before the Internet I hadn't even questioned the existence of Jesus in history. It never occurred to me that he may be a myth. Catholic background you know- it always made out that all the stuff they were feeding my young mind was fact including all the metaphysical clap trap contained within religion. It was all a meme. I know that now thanks to the Internet. If you don't know what a meme is look it up on the Internet because I think that's what we have all caught - memes.

Currently the biggest cultural meme amongst young girls is Twilight. It's gone beyond simple entertainment into the realm of emotional reality. They actually believe it is a good work of art in the first instance and secondly they actually think it is perfection in it's depiction of romantic love. In two thousand years will it be so important artisticall,y literally or in any way. How is it that Jesus kept up with the times. Now that's a mystery isn't it?

Common thinking is that the climate is changing. To me it's all just weather and whether. Explaining this: We will always have weather and it's whether you believe or not that it is in some way different to the way it was is the issue. So further on in my thinking I think - will this be the issue most thought about in two thousand years? I doubt it.

Common thinking is so short lived really.

As a post script; I put this ordinary little piece of writing up to:

Scare off bible bashers
Scare off teenagers

I don't want any of these types here on overthinking. Not that I have too many visitors to scare off in the first place- but just in case I become a meme. ( I live in hope)

Saturday, December 5, 2009

High Anxiety

I write about a lot of things here on overthinking. The common thread however is coping with high anxiety. This why I write in the first place. I'm sure anyone who is time rich enough to read my drivel will pick up on this straight away. They would say: " Here's a classic example of a bloke who suffers generalized anxiety disorder and here are his various anxieties on show for the world to see"

Well people! I'm not alone in this. You're all in it. How do I know this? Well I just watched a BBC production High Anxieties: The Mathematics of Chaos about mathematics and it's failure to show reality to be predictable. It is showing that it is exactly opposite. Chaos rules. Chaos is the natural state of things and nothing is sure or predictable. Hence the failure to be able to avert economic collapse and climate change for example.

Well I prove that something is predictable every day of my life as do you. Dishes. They always have been there and they always will be there as long as we are here. We are in a death grip dishes and us. We need them and they need us. I think mathematicians should start looking closer to home and they will see one thing stands proudly in life as being always there. Dishes.

But I don't want to get caught in the dishes thing. I have belaboured that point long enough. I want to talk about God. Not the just religious one, but the same one who sits in the scheme of the set up of things. See. I believe in God. You would reckon after all the thinking I do that I would have ruled him out much earlier. But here I am believing in the creator. I have my reasons and that is personal. No-one would believe me if i told them the various things that happen in my life so rather than coming across as a nut I will just remain silent on this.

Bottom line is; for all those atheists and their attempts to rule out the creator, I still reckon the big fellah is there. These people are just closed, smug and blind to what happens around them. I don't like the religious picture of God though. It leaves me feeling that my poor fellow man is in some kind of trance like state. In their state of growing high anxiety they reach out more and more for God's help in matters but they get nothing. In sprouting the religious absurdities they play into the atheist's hands completely. I worked out the God-help-me thing really early in my life. After I had bleated my needs for years and years all to no avail I sort of imagined hearing something in my tiny mind. It was like a large and great voice came out of the Heavens into my brain and it said to me " You're on your own kid- till we meet again later on after all this"

And I think what it meant was that chaos is where you are and I will see you to have a rap about it when I'm outta here. And I have to say- I can live with that, because I know where I stand - I can live with that. Those poor buggers who sit there praying till they get all sweaty asking for this and asking for that, well they simply don't understand the nature of the thing we are in. They don't understand the set up and it is a set up. It has all been set up for us. We go through it, in chaos, then we are out of it. Purpose unknown. Other than washing dishes. Purpose unknown.

And as all this becomes more apparent as science and maths keep digging deeper and deeper and see just how chaotic it really is ( yet still trying to think that it isn't really) the population gets more and more anxious. Because everyone wants solidarity we hold onto this solid and that solid only to find them turning into vapour at a later time. We will never hold all the grains of sand that we scoop up from the beach. Never. Even one particle will always slip past our collecting and hand this one particle will always confound the predictability of how many grains of sand we are holding in our hand. And the butterfly wings on the other side of the world will cause the breeze to blow some of the gains of sand off the pile in our hand as we try to count them. And we can never count them anyway because there are too many.

So we get ever more anxious as more and more failures are thrown up to us in this unsure world. We don't even know if we are going to survive our own stupidity as a species let alone know how the universe tick. It's all too hard. I'm going to wash some dishes. God did great creating dishes, it's all we've got to take our mind off such large and scary things.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Lost in the day

I have known many troubled women in my life. My mother was a very troubled person. She was very bitter and self destructive and only lived to 59 due to her excessive smoking and drinking. As result I seem to have continued to collect a variety of "friends" who are of the female persuasion and who are emotionally bereft. I have done this probably to, in some way, replace my mother even though these women are rather much younger than me.

Anyway enough of the psycho-analytical stuff and on with the fun.

The other day I read a friend's facebook status- can't imagine why I bother but I do- She sounded in a very bad way so I sms'd her to see what her problem was. Yes I am an idiot! Gentlemen! Rule number one. Never ask a woman what the problem is if it doesn't involve you personally. You are really going to be told and you run the risk of becoming embroiled. Well of course that's what happened to me. I became the object of her derision rather than the person she was actually having problems with. I was called everything from a grumpy old man ( true) through to a split personality disordered person. And why you may ask. Well here it is:

Wait for it-------- I told her I thought her taste in men was in her boots--- how's that for a true idiot? Here she was complaining about her drug addicted partner and I went ahead and told her that her taste in men needed to improve. Well you can see the problem here can't you? I am a real problem. I tell the truth. We are not supposed to do that. You are not supposed to advise a friend that his or her taste may be a little off. Because, you see, we all have impeccable taste. And the fact that we have repeated problems with the partners we hook up with and the fact that so many go through the chute ending badly and the fact that there is an underlying type of person that we keep hooking up with who makes our life misery at a certain point---- well it's nothing to do with our taste is it? I shouldn't have even gone there. But like an idiot I did and I paid the price.

Scathing she was in her attack which she considered defence of course.

I'm 57. I'm a big mouth. I'm trouble to women who actually don't really wish to solve their problems but more, maintain them, so their lives are more exciting. Because as I see it- many unfortunate women have only one interest-- emotion--and they get it whichever way they can and it can be either positive or negative - it matters not to them. It's a habit. And it's virtually impossible to break it and I am learning that through some of the females ( not all mind you) I know in my life.

And they are trouble to me- and I am trouble to them. Because a big mouth is the worst thing for these women and these women are the worst thing for a big mouth. This is what is referred to as co-dependency.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Bad is good

I noticed an article in today's Age newspaper on songs that are junk food to healthy teenage thoughts on relationships. Of course Lady Gaga was right up there. She is so ordinary. She has been wheeled out as the next outlandish bad is good girl. Each generation has to have one and this poor excuse is the top of the pops at present. This got me to thinking about the whole concept of bad is good.

Good is so uncool isn't it. The goody religious types have done a great job of making good totally corny. They are really sickening with their syrupy concoction of childishness and cuteness fuelled by an acute fear of hell and Godly wrath in their afterlife if they ain't like that.

see. Good is a really serious business. When something good is happening we are supposed to be really proper in our response to it. We gotta be you know- appropriately impressed and show serious acknowledgement of the goodness. You know. We gotta be all pious like. But bad well bad is just way cool. We feel really cool just being bad. You know like being pissed. It's really cool to be off your face. It's a party- get of your face. Not. It's a party- have some yummy chocky cake. That's just plain lame right?

I did a shitload of partying for most of my life. I was a bad boy. Fully bad. No drugs- just shitloads of piss. Me and the Maoris ( renowned for pissing on you know) - every weekend full on pissed. I was way cool because I was fully pissed. The only thing was- I didn't realize that I was no longer a teenager. And consider; I only stopped 4 years ago- age 53.

See, getting totalled, is for the teens. It's what they must do. Or they are lame. That's all. Such wisdom I come out with sometimes. This has said absolutely nothing. But I wrote it anyway.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Set the course to straight ahead

How do people do it?

i write my little musings here and they always suffer the same pattern.

I start off writing in one direction and by the end of the writing I have turned around in the opposite direction to my opening attitude or opinion. I'm like a ship that sets off on a course gets a certain numberr of kilometres out from port only to discover that it is heading back to port. It's simply sailed a big adventurous circle.

it's pretty much how life goes though. We are distracted by the goings on around us that make us think we a doing something new all the time. But we're not really. We are doing the same things with different things or people. God knows when we get into our circles. Sometime when we are very young of course. But it is virtually an illusion that we set the course to straight ahead. Our rudder is well and truly set to navigate a big circle.

But it's underwater and we don't see that.

Too much

I don't think I am alone in feeling this.

I feel ever more distracted and overwhelmed. I want to do something but I seem not to know what I want to do so I don't do anything other than what I am doing and I feel frustrated whilst I am doing the thing I am doing because I would rather be doing something else but I don't know what else I would rather be doing. I just would rather be doing something other than what I am doing. I can't settle. Then when I am doing something I think I should be doing something else but there are so many other things to do I don't know which one I would rather do from what I am doing now. The thing I'm doing now seems to frustrate all the other things I would rather be doing but I really don't know what I would really like to do because there is no way of knowing where the bottom line to my yearnings lies.

So I just do the dishes and dream that I am more important than the chores I actually am doing at the time. But I'm not. I'm just a frustrated egotist who's lot in life is to do the dishes. But I just can't help feeling there is more to my life than this. But there isn't. I just wish there was.

There's gotta be something important for me to do.Doesn't there?

How pitiful is that?

But it's not my fault. Because the popular media say we are always capable of greatness. They keep throwing up all those achievers ( people who don't do dishes) as examples to us all. I just wanna know how the fuck they got past doing dishes all the time. I'm truly stuck.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Most of what we say is just noise

I have put up so many posts now that the underlying message I have to give is finally shining through.

The message is: I have nothing to say.

All of our words have little purpose. Like the background noise from space they are simply vibrations in time. The words I refer to are those various opinions we air daily. Such as those I write here; it's all just chatter.

Lets be real. Who really listens? Who really reads? We are all putting up our opinions and basically ignoring or at the very least giving little attention to anyone else's opinion. Oh unless it in some way attacks our person-then we are at it big time.

The climate debate is a classic example of what a waste of time debate is. Nothing gets done because we are too busy debating each other. It's the same in our simple daily lives. although it may not appear that we are indulging in open debate every day -we are. We are constantly debating. We read something and then we have to process it- do we agree or disagree- then why do we agree or disagree- all this is done internally all the time all day long.

I look at all those facebook junkies and twitter twits- they go with the public show. I go with it here. But its all worth nothing. It's just noise. noise that occurs around events.

So what kinds of noise are important.

Well if the building is burning Fire!!! is a good word.

For me: What about a bit of nooky is about the most useful and rewarding thing I would say in my day. But only if I get it of course!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Home again part 1

Altruism. It's the way of holy people. It's when you give rather than take. I walked out of my home recently because a member of my family lost theirs in a fire. I felt good doing that. I just up and walked off. Here- you and your family- have my place I'll just go stay somewhere else.

Now I thought that was pretty good of me. I felt good being so ---altruistic---- and I thought that when I die this thing would certainly give me those extra angel points in the eyes of the big bloke and therefore elevate me to a fairly comfy cloud. I was all cozy with my goody two shoes act. But apparently I was just profiteering according to my dear sibling's text messages over the last few days after they moved on

-- Whooooaaaa! You think. What the fuck? Well lets go back a couple of months:

Mobile Phone rings: "Peter. My house has burnt to the ground!" Shit!. So off I goes to witness the devastation. Turns out it was an exaggeration but there was sufficient damage to render the house as uninhabitable. Then I thinks. My house is not big enough for the whole of their family and me and daughter. I got it! Me and my daughter will move out instantly so they have a roof over their heads and we will stay elsewhere because we have somewhere else to stay this being my girlfriend's place which is pretty crowded anyway so what's another two?

So all's well. I am the hero to one and all. They can get their house fixed. We will live elsewhere for the time being. We had to simply jump out of our home at a moments notice. This is not an easy thing to do I can tell you.

One would think that the story would be all good from there. But no!

You see they lost their 7 dogs in the fire. A terrible thing. Heart wrenching. But count 'em. Seven! So of course the first thing you do is to replace what has been lost. It helps in the grieving. So they gets a pup. A big pup. Didn't wait for a more appropriate time to do this- like when they get back home No. Didn't sort of ask if I was cool with that in my home. No. They just go out and gets a big, no, huge pup. One that will piss and shit all over my home and chew everything it can find and rip fly wire and scratch newly painted surfaces and leave huge turds all over the place for me to discover. But you know what? I didn't complain. Aren't I the saint-- true altruism eh? Then they gets another dog because they felt sorry for it and it was from their previous dogs litter so in comes another dog. A barking little horror. And this dog hated me. Every time I entered my own house the thing barked at me and shot out from under the table trying to nip me. Oh. I forgot there was another cat in the mix. It used one of its nine lives and survived the fire. And of course it had to sleep in my bed which I left for them and it had to have its litter tray nearby next to my bed. See? It is all painting a picture here isn't it? Even blind Freddy can see what's going on. I am being taken for granted.

The risk one suffers when they do altruistic things is that they can be taken for granted.

So here it is. My small home is stacked to the roof with people and animals. My own poor cat is relegated to the gallery area at the front of my house. It is so crowded out with interlopers that he withdrew and would not enter his old home. So he sat hissing, pissing and shitting in my once pristine and beautiful art gallery for several months. He did what any faithful cat would do. He entered the resistance movement and his weapons were chemical. He figured if he worked hard enough at stinking them out with his piss and shit they would not be able to stand it and they would leave. Oh the stink of it now. Cat's piss! Ahhhh! The problem is they retaliated with far more weaponry in the form of a huge pissing pup and several other animals to boot.

Any ways earlier on the family make me an offer to pay some rent. Well they directed their insurance company to pay me some rent. It sounded like a fair deal. I felt I should be paying something for my temp accommodation at my girlfriend's so this would pay for that and leave me some over even which is all good. Here was my mistake. I accepted to receive rent from them , well from their insurance I say again- no cost to them. But I will go into that further on later. The thing with receiving rent is that it then gives a feeling of ownership on the part of the persons who are paying the rent. They think that my place is now open to whatever they want to do with it. So it is trashed I guess pretty much like they would their own place. They, in their minds saw my run down little cottage as pretty much fully worn out in the first place and therefore they saw no need to pick it up whatsoever. It was basic survival for these busy busy residents from here on. No time for those little bits of cleaning and such that makes a filthy home healthy and germ free- particularly when you have animals living inside alongside humans. Too busy with kids and work. So just leave off the grime cleaning and the pet hair removal- just exist and skate over the surface- when you have time. Yes, and I understand the reasons for it, they were overburdened and overwhelmed. And I watched all this and I said nothing. Ain't I a saint? Funny thing is though they somehow thought they had improved my place. Weird how people see things isn't it? I didn't say anything because I thought well they are family and they have been through a really hard time and i should just let them be. Aren't I a wonderful and sensitive brother?

All this until one day. I was up painting out the gallery in an attempt to improve something on my poor neglected property. I happened to enter the laundry for something. This was a difficult feat to achieve because it was stacked to the roof with their mountain of dirty washing. There on the floor is my favourite jumper- a rather expensive jumper- really my only expensive jumper - and there on the middle of my jumper which lay there on the filthy floor was a huge steaming dog's poop. Right there smack in the middle of my beautiful jumper!!! Can you picture it? A huge curly piled up high stinking - dog shit there on my favourite jumper. I ask you; is this not at the very least mildly insulting?

I immediately swallowed much anger several million times and alerted my sibling who looked at me as though I was making a mountain out of a molehill. No apology of course. Shit happens---literally. It will be washed off- no harm done.

So then I starts to really notice the lack of regard for my things. Also in the laundry I notice one of my humble possessions. In an attempt at improving the look of my poor kitchen in my poverty struck state I had purchased some lovely little orange ( my favourite colour) cushions for the kitchen chairs. It had been tossed into a basket and there was some sort of vomit looking substance with dark soya sauce looking blobs all over it. This was something I just noted and thought Hmmmm as one does when not knowing how to respond to something rather disturbing that they have just seen. Hmmm-------

Then I start to look a little more. In the back room near the laundry they had stored an old style couch. Draped over it for protection was a most beautiful doona cover. My beautiful doona cover. My expensive bejewelled doona cover that cost me $250. I bought it as a celebration when I first got with my girlfriend so we would feel special in our bed. you know- a bit of a romantic and exorbitant thing? It was worth more than the thing it was protecting- but hey, it served the purpose when you don't give a shit about another person's belongings. To add insult their cat loved get up on this perfect position so there was fur all over it. Again I swallowed a million angry voices and commented that I thought that was not really the go with my things. And again I was informed that I was making a mountain out of a molehill and that a good wash was all that was needed. The emphasis was more to do with- you shouldn't get so pissed off old fellah- it means nothing to me so why should it mean something to you? Because it is my things getting fucking trashed that's why!!!!!!

So over the next few weeks phone calls are being made ( and discussions behind my back etc) as to how angry I am and how no-one can understand why. It's as if I had no rights whatsoever. All was rosy in the garden you old idiot. Calm down. So okay- I did. Aren't I enlightened? I didn't do any meditating yet I was able to summon calmness. I was calm. Right. And everything went quiet from my side at least but obviously not from the tenants side. It was as busy as ever. It was growing a festering scorn directed fairly and squarely at me. It was coming like a slow train. They were waiting for me to dare to step out of line again and they had both barrels locked and loaded and pointing in my direction. Ready.

Little did I know.

to be continued...............................................................

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I believe I am intelligent.

I was reading an article in New Scientist last week on the falling credentials of possessing a high IQ. I was so happy to read this because I am fairly underwhelming in that area. Well. I'm OK but certainly not brilliant. I just do a lot of thinking and blurt out my simple opinions as a result of it.

There is a new kid on the block in terms of testing a person's intelligence. It is the RQ as against the IQ. RQ measures a persons rationality. In other words how useful a persons IQ is in the real world is put to the test. Because as we know; a lot of very smart people are absolutely useless in the real world. They make the most ridiculous and stupid decision and are incompetent at many simple and practical day to day things. But their IQ is off the charts. Get it?

My intelligence is kinda average if it were measured. I know, to many people, I come across as pretty bright. I receive many comments on how clever people think I am. Well it's all very nice but I am exposing myself here. My intelligence is much like my penis. Average. But my intelligence, also much like my penis, is all to do with how I use it. Most of the time it's used for the mundane tasks of the world but every so often it rises and becomes rather impressive in the results it achieves. It spits out some very impressive stuff and whosoever experiences its actions feels most impressed.

I think this happens because I have a rather well developed sense of what feels good. Plus I have the sensitivity of an artist and thus able to apply it with quite some degree of skill. The effect is very pleasing particularly to the recipient of my endeavours.

So girls. Forget the vampires! We illusionists are the best. We are average in the intelligence but high in the rational. Forget the over the top passionate types. The more rational a man is the better he is in bed. I think! Or---- I like to think!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Spreading the word.

We notice that the Church ( ha ha ha ha ) of Scientology is under the hammer in Australia. It is time to give it a good ol' one two in the kisser. It's a tax evasion scam- so obvious. But the whole thing with the mere existence alone of this "religious" organization simply demonstrates how stupid we all are.

I'm in a religious organization myself though. A religion with a following of one. Me. It's a bit lonely I agree. But it works for me. I am the holder of the absolute truth you see.

And this is in a nutshell;

Life is just one dirty dish after another.

This truth is not as lightweight as it may first appear to be. If you really think about it deeply you will understand that it is the truest statement you will ever read. This being the case you can then go ahead and spend the rest of your life examining and spreading the word about this ultimate truth until you are finally able to cause it to become untrue and irrelevant. Then there will never be any dishes to do in this reality. This is my dream. A life without dishes. And this is why I look forward to death. Lying there peacefully under the ground with never a dirty dish in sight. Yes. There is a heaven.

you see? My religion is full of benefits and happy outcomes. Unlike all those others out there. Mine is real.

Sadly I try to spread the word and give the truth to everyone but no-one appears to be listening. They are all too busy with their raising from the dead stuff and heaven and hell wars and all that.

Friday, November 20, 2009

One liners

I would love to be a person who can come up with the one liner in any situation. Instead I am caught being the most wordy person I know. I'm full of 'em as shown here.

The one line response is a perfection all of its own. I note today that there is some geek trying to design a computer chip that has just one perfect instruction aimed at it- the perfect one liner for a machine to make it do everything faster than all those before it. Beautiful!

I also noted the recent review of the latest Twilight movie rubbish ( God help me- I will have to endure it within the next few days). In it the reviewer comes up with the perfect one line as to why it appeals to teens. I quote: the acting is more about pregnant pauses and not making eye contact and----- [The dialogue is mostly about not finding the words]---- perfection!!! The perfect comment about all to do with the teen.

[The dialogue is mostly about not finding the words] The perfect one liner to describe the teenager's way of communication.

Unfortunately for many people, it stays this way. But I suspect it's not that they are deep and intriguing it's more they simply can't express themselves. Or rather are too stupid to express themselves, or too lazy to express themselves, or too lacking in honesty and openness, or too fucked up on drugs or booze, or --------- or they never really grew up.

I've changed my mind. I like being wordy.

Post script:

Oh yeah. And the other thing that makes Twilight so popular with the teens- It is all about self absorbed wants and needs. So it makes it all perfectly normal and acceptable to want what you really can't have and the whole thing is about how the vampire lover boy thinks only of the self absorbed girl. This is perfect for the co-dependant style of relationship all teenage girls wish to have. It's a shame I think so negatively of teens isn't it? It's probably because I was one of them a long time ago and I didn't like teenage years and I didn't like myself then.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Why didn't I see it?

Wisdom is a hindsight based skill. We move always forward of course, in this tyrannical reality of living under the rule of time. I was just sitting here reading about the Apple computer guy, Steve Jobs. He is about the same vintage as me. He is very successful, very influential, very wealthy and I am not any of these things. Yet I grew up in the same times as he did. I saw the same things but I did not see the same thing. I did not see the prospects and potentials of things around me. I suffered what most of us suffer- shortsightedness.

Its sad isn't it? We are held to be just plain ordinary cogs-in-the-wheel types by simply one failing. Shortsightedness. Well that and lots of dishes of course.

Break ups- part 2

I haven't suffered through many break ups in my life. If I was to think about how many, the number is 3. By comparison, I know a woman who has been married 8 times.

The first was my first love at age 18. It was my first experience of the pain. It was unexpected because I had never endured that kind of emotional hurt before. It hurt more than it should have because of that. I had only gone out with that particular person for around a year and we never actually had intercourse so it was far more light weight than later in life. But it still hurt somewhat.

The second was after 6 years of marriage to my first wife. But again It wasn't a really heavy duty hurt that I experienced. It was more of an insult. I think this is because I remember two weeks after we were married, I was sitting in the kitchen and the thought came to me that I may have just made a mistake in marrying this woman. The reason being that I really didn't love her and I thought I had stupidly just gone along for the ride with the whole thing.

The third was to my recent wife of 24 years. Now this was the doozy. It hurt like hell and still does to a degree. You see, I had to work at it to finally get some good quality hurt in my life. I had a long run of lack of emotional hurt and it was my turn. I had tried for many years. I had done all the right things. I drank excessively. I preferred the company of my mates instead of hers. I was messy and controlling. Goodness. I gave it my best shot but she went ahead and hung on in there. Unbelievable.

After 24 years hard work I was finally satisfied in 2005. I was finally able to experience real emotional hurt and it felt great. You see. Sometimes we can be asleep emotionally and not even know it. In our search for soft landings, comfort and security we can weigh anchor in some safe port away from the rough seas. But in so doing we risk putting ourselves to sleep with the safe boredom of it all.

I don't feel bored at all now. I have been shaken and stirred and I feel really alive. I no longer crave security of that safe relationship. Fuck it! If it's there- it's there. But I don't really need to seek it out so hungrily. All this because I experienced the true power of having my guts well and truly kicked in. From this you can see--- breaking up is one of the best things that can happen to a person. I recommend that all you out there currently in a happy relationship go ahead, right now and break up. You will really get something wonderful out of the whole exercise.

It's a funny little thing called freedom. Freedom that only comes from stopping your needy little ways. It is those who are in a relationship because of need who are the least free and unfortunately------------

Everyone is needy. Consequently there is no real freedom people. Just need.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Why boys are turning into girls




Answer Here


I knew it. All these pretty girls are with pretty boys because there are no "real men" around anymore. Just look at that poor excuse for a vampire who all the Twi-hard girlies think is so stunningly attractive. He's a pussy!

And hey. Maybe this is why I like to crochet. Environmental pollutants makes me do it!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Break ups- part 1

This is a really complex subject and may take lots of posts to work my way through so I have made it a multi-parter. I will write on it as I get the ideas from time to time in the future.

Oh. By the way; several months ago I told you I knew the meaning of life. So ok I will disclose it here because it sort of ties in. I have kept you waiting long enough.

There is a creator. Maybe He likes to play golf. Maybe we are His golf balls. He swats us around in this reality whether we like it or not. Forget free will- it's an illusion. And nothing shows this more than the subject of this post- relationships- destinies at play. It sure enough seems like it to me.

My girlfriend's daughter has just announced she is or rather maybe breaking up with her long term (as a proportion of her age) childhood sweetheart. Yes I know- A very sad event for these young people. Yawn! Oops! Where's my sympathy? Come on overthinking man- don't lose it!

My own daughter recently broke with her long term partner and I have recently broken with my long term wife of 24 years so events like this really hit a raw nerve with me. They really get me thinking. Overthinking in overdrive. It's time for the overthinking man to put up a post on the relationship thing.

Relationships are the biggest source of people's interest in all of life. For many people it's what life is all about and to others if its not what it is all about it sure still rates as number one ahead of the other things. Like my uncle used to say: We are hatched, matched and dispatched. That's really all there is so the matched thing is what exists between life and death.

So. We have established that it is the finding and being in a relationship that is all important to us. No dispute- we all gotta agree on that don't we? Priests and monks etc. don't count. They are just plain weirdos. Right?

Now this is where I get controversial. Being with someone is like being on the edge of a precipice looking down whilst the earth around you is shaking. So here's the contradiction: We seek a partner for emotional security whereas in fact we are lining up for the most insecure state of existence we could ever be in. Get it?

Now. I know the reason for this insecurity. Inside of all of us is a switch. It switches on and off with or without reason. We have no control over it. It is the love switch- whatever love is of course. No-one knows.

How do I know about this love switch thing? Well I have witnessed it over and over throughout my 57 years. It has been much more obvious in women than men though. The emotional makeup of women is totally weird. One moment she is all over a bloke- can't get enough of him. He is the centre of her universe. He can do no wrong. He is her Heaven. The switch flips. It is all over. The feeling is gone. She doesn't know why. She doesn't know why she was with him in the first place. He was totally wrong for her. She doesn't understand what she saw in him. She has awoken from her sleep. She is moving on. No reason in particular. But we know the reason don't we? The switch has flipped.

There is no sense or reason to any of our existence when it comes to relationships. We are either in one or not in one. Forget the in between thing that's just a shade of grey.

Now this is where I get really acidic in my dissertation. Burn baby burn!

If you're plain, ugly or fat or whatever it is that makes us less attractive to the opposite sex, you are in for a peaceful and orderly life. It won't be interrupted by the comings and goings of relationships very often and if it is you know that your partner must really love you because looks don't come into it. Or if you find yourself 50 and over and alone then you can relax into an uninterrupted single life in the main. ( Of course you won't be happy because we never are and the thing we don't have is always the thing we want but that is a whole other post). See. When you hit this stage the attractiveness thing is dead. its best to stop kidding yourself that you still got it etc and just do something else with your life other than chasing partners and stuff. Well this is how it should work anyway but it doesn't because we still think we need to be in a relationship even though we are no longer in the reproduction race.

So why do I say it is best to jettison the relationship thirst? Well, I guess the flattened emotional existence of perpetual singledom and the associated lack of need or concern that we will be disturbed by the machinations of flirtation and wooings can be seen as the cause of a lonely but relaxed state of mind. One can get on with other things. But if you are anything like me and everyone else- your switch will probably flip and you will fall again. That bloody switch!!!!

So in this little post we have discussed the basis of the switch. Maybe at some future time I will go into other deep and useful observations concerning the human condition. In the final analysis however the purpose for all this running around seeking relationships thing is------------------ we gotta do something whilst we are awaiting the next load of dishes.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Attention deficit

I called this blog spot overthinking because I thought that's what I in fact did. But I think that I have a condition. I may have what many people have. Attention deficit. And what do I mean by this?

Well in the old days we used to refer to it as attention span. This was either good or poor. These days we are in a state of permanent distraction which causes symptoms very much like attention deficit. We constantly look to finding some thing that we are looking for which is always some thing which is not where we are at the time we are looking for that some thing and then as we go along we are in a perpetual state of not remembering what it was that we were looking for in the first place. Is it any wonder some end up throwing in the towel and allowing their minds to collapse into a state of confusion and memory loss?

Some people try to hold control of what is being looked at or spoken of at the time. You can see the fear in their eyes if you move a subject along in a direction that they either are not wanting it to go or are not ready to go. They try and hold their mind together and yours at the same time. This makes for a very one sided experience when you talk to them and is totally frustrating in the end. One simply stops listening. But the funny thing is---they don't even notice.

And what about all those teenagers? We may have been the same when we were young but hey, I'm doing the observation and report here so get over trying to distract with the ol' we- used- to- do- that thing. That doesn't change the fact that teenagers have problems doing a solitary task and must do as many as possible at the same time and then crow about their ability to multi-task. But the thing is the results of all their multi tasking is always and without fail ordinary results for every task. But no-one seems to notice because they are so blinded by their brilliance at being able to do so many ordinary things badly at the same time. So they can also stuff off with the I- can- go- faster- than- you- old- fart thing. I don't find it impressive. I find it young and stupid. I am yet to be impressed by any young persons ability to turn out something really beautifully put together. Everything they do is ganked off the internet and abbreviated to the max. Quick is not good.

So teenagers reject the "live in the now" because it is too slow. As result they frantically get out of bed in the morning ( midday for most of them)-- some are so frantic they actually get up early and these are the real worked-up ones (poor dears). Then it occurs to them- the what- am- I going- to- do- today? and in comes one million ideas all of which they wish to do all at the same time because they have no ability to choose. They have no patience. They have no attention span. They are bored just thinking about it and just want to do do do do do do do. Get it?

This is what rushing is all about. This is why the young never do the dishes. They cherry pick all the time and only choose things that have no quotient of boredom within them.

Still. All this grand observation doesn't help me. It just makes me exhausted being anywhere near them. I think I like being a slow and senile old fart. It's so relaxing and occasionally something really good is produced from living that way. Well. Like this enlightening post for instance.

Stuff I write

If you reckon my posts are boring, confronting, ordinary, silly or simply over your head or all of these things plus confusing then you should see the stuff that never gets published. A lot of it is stuff that would really get me into trouble I tell ya. I've kept a lid on it people! Really I have. See? I'm really a responsible person. I'm not really that insensitive old grouch that my style of posts may have you believe. I'm simply as mixed up as anyone else; battling through to get a handle on things. You know; giving it a shot in the unravelling of meaning in the tedious crap associated with the day to day. And really I'm too gutless to let it out to that degree.

That's my slant on it and by the lack of comments here, I'm guessing it's all yours as well.

Hey- It's Friday the 13th. My lucky day. Maybe I should let some of them out.

No. Too scared people would hate me. I'm a wimp.

Acceptance

Everyone craves acceptance. This is why everyone panders to the bullshit that comes out of the mouths of others. One is on top of the popularity stakes if they go along with the things said around them. Go with it and you are the dream friend, partner, ally or whatever.

Religion's an interesting case though. If one goes along with the bullshit within the belief you are in. If you don't, well you are just a sinner who has lost their way. Now, when I write off belief as bullshit I am being very rude and disrespectful aren't I? I will never be popular amongst church goers that's for sure. I won't be accepted. Nooo----- Oh yes I will! They see acceptance of those who think they are full of shit as a challenge that God has placed on their plate. And if they work hard enough they will be able to convert the poor soul before it is too late. How can they accept that? How can they accept anything? Everything is a true mystery so I can't. Everything seems to demonstrate that there are no hard and fast rules or that we can't expect anything beyond death. yet many of us accept myths and legends that hold us safely to a notion that there is something beyond. Beyond. Beyond and to the stars---infinity-- don't you go misty eyed? Don't you just drift off at the thought of it? Eternity------- say it---- eternity---- now do it trailing off with a far away look in your eyes. Now that's what I call-----------Acceptance.

We really know jack shit about what goes on around us-- we just accept. It's all we do. We dress it up in elaborate belief structures and opinions. But all we can do in the end is accept. Like death. We don't like the thought that we die but we can only accept.

Don't you feel sort of deflated and defeated by this? All pumped up one minute; thinking you are master of your own destiny, in control, a mover and shaker, busy being busy. Then you realize. We have no real power. We just accept everything that goes on around us.

Well I'm not. I'm jumping off. I've had it. I'm going to be different. I'm not just going to roll over and accept my lot in life. I'm going to go and wash some dishes. So there!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

It's Movember

I have a Mo. This is my month and it's over my mouth. See what changing one letter in a word can do? Talk about trivia!! Have people got nothing better to do than find silly little ( and the emphasis is on little) things to put up to the world.

I have been guilty yet again of reading the status updates on Facebook. I can see the addiction that we all suffer now in this wonderful age of the internet. I suffer it as bad as anyone of course. But really!!!!-----!!! These people who air their laundry to all and sundry must learn. If you're gonna put up your shit- at least make it some kind of illusion that it means something. I do it here. It is a struggle-- but at least I try to be original and humorous. I try!

But these people who just want to feed out the shit, just to let it out- coz no-one in their home is listening to them probably - Well, they really haven't understood the internet- no one really cares out there and if you put it out you yourself end up wearing it. The reason is that there are some very clever people in the world. In fact there are a lot of very clever peole in th world. And if your shit is just shit instead of clever shit--- well you know-- you end up in the shit yourself- the shit that you are trying to spread is the shit you yourself are in-- and it becomes so obvious to everyone that they look at you as an absolute shit covered jerk. Get it?

And in the end, the really clever people out there fling even more shit back at you and because they are clever their shit really sticks. And even if you don't see it online- offline everyone is calling you a jerk who is just a shit stirrer full of their own shit. Do you want that?

I don't. So when I spread shit I make sure it's not too direct. It has the focus a bit blurred so I can run and hide if things go pear shaped with anyone who is stupid enough to read my stuff. See how convoluted this post is for instance. It makes no real sense at all. It's just me rattling those keys again- just for something to do whilst I fill in my time here on planet Earth.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

New PC

I have a new PC. I bought it a few days ago. Oh! I have an old PC- sorry- my mistake.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Noise

Some 35 years ago I moved out of the suburbs up into the Ranges about 60 km from the city. The reason- to escape the hustle and bustle, which I saw at the time as the most annoying aspect of day to day life. It was all too much to bear.

Circumstance has me back in the suburbs temporarily and I must report I feel I was a very wise young man for at least some stage of my life because I had the wisdom to piss off from this shit. I am so glad that 90 plus % of the population are stupid. They all live down here and some even enjoy it because they think that they have a life surrounded by amenities. And they are all very safe from the bushfires which they think are gonna happen every year forever now because we had a big bushfire last year and it's only going to keep going and probably get worse. Such is the nature of living in the world that is fixated with doomsday prediction.

So here is an example of suburban bliss. I go to bed earlier down here. As an artist I like to be a bit of a night owl. It is wonderful up in the hills when it is quiet and dark . The imagination runs wild at these times and in a good way not a spooky way. But if I do that down here I will soon severely lack sleep. I must fit in to the environment here which is all to do with other people living in little boxes right next door to each other.

At 2 am. I am awoken by the huge bark of the many dogs who live next door and they continue barking for about an hour. No control whatsoever by the creature who lurks in the house next to this one I am in. He obviously likes the sound of his dogs barking in the we hours. It makes him feel safe in the knowledge that they are on guard or something.

At 6am. the baby starlings start their racket. The place is filled with every pest known to man. There are many mynas pecking at the roof trying to build nests and there are starlings coming in and out with insects feeding their young. It's nature but in the worst possible way for a tired man who has been kept awake by the natural way of dogs.

Joining into this wonderful cacophony is the sound of earthmoving equipment next door because the developer likes to get an early start so he can knock off early, There is all this construction goin on down here and it never stops because there is always something that needs to be constructed. Then some guy out on the street decides to put his vehicle in reverse and he is so safety conscious he has put a reversing warning beep on his vehicle. And he leaves it in reverse for say, oh, maybe---------- 15 minutes.

So the noises we have at this time--- let's count 'em

Dogs barking

Starling Chicks constantly chirping for food

Prospective bird parents tapping on the tin to find nesting spots

Earth movers with loud deisel engines

Metal on metal caused by some manoeuvrings

Hammers and nails

Power saws

Nail Guns

Tradesmen voices

Radios turned to max to keep the tradies amused

Truck on the street in reverse with the beep beep device locked on.

Dogs barking on the other side of the house from the other neighbour.

The hum of city bound traffic on the main arterial roads near by.

My girlfriends kids and their its morning and a new day banter etc

Now I know I shouldn't sweat small stuff. I know I shouldn't complain. I'm just an old grump. I gotta be more tolerant. I shouldn't let things get to me. And all the other condescending crappy comments the wimps would say to me if I utter the slightest criticism of this wonderful environment and its magnificent amenities.

But I fucking hate this place and I want out and back to my beautiful hills. Whilst you read this last sentence feel my anger. It is there- it is real and I want it to be there and be real because it is righteous anger. I hate this noisy environment and people oughtta wake up themselves and spread out and get the fuck away from each other.

But hang on-- then they would spread out up into the hills. No! Stay down here people. It's great. Yes you have it right. The amenity. It's fantastic. Stay here. Here is great!!!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Quote

I could have written this---- but I didn't:

Never argue with a stupid person.
First they’ll drag you down to their level,
then they will beat you with experience.

Then I could add:

Why bother?

Or

You never know who is stupid anyway because you yourself are stupid.

No. I wouldn't have written the quote. It's too stupid!

Compressed, reduced, distilled

Just read an article by a guy at the State Library who talks about the change in what and how we read. To do this the library has drawn on it's archives of magazine samplers. It regularly batch samples around 200 magazine of a certain year for example: 1975 1981 and 2006. You can read it here- if you can stay focused long enough.

No one wants to read lots of words these days. They are on the lookout for instant gratification and that includes in their reading methods. " Gimme the bottom line---NOW!!"

So no surprise in the fact that the magazines these days are short on words and big on image.

This is unlike here on my carefully constructed attempts at writing. I try and use as many words as I possibly can. I do this because I hate the shortness of everything including life. So I reject the quick in favour of the slow. I reject the impression in favour of the detail. I reject the short in favour of the long way home. I despise the pace of todays world- the human world that is. I like slow and long.

It's like sex. Forget the quickie. I like slow and long. Not too long. But long enough to really savour the pleasure. If we hold back in the area of sex we know we get a far better climax in the end. Why don't we apply the same to other parts of our life?

Nup!. Get it over with. I wanna be done with this reading and just get to the crunch. I can't be bothered going through all these words. What a waste of my valuable time. I am precious and I must meter out every action.

So I will keep writing these long winded essays on nothing people. Your avoidance will not stop me. One day they will be a very important glimpse of an overthinking man's mind in the early part of the electronic revolution. You know- when I am dead and all that- much like my art will be too. It's a shame we gotta die before we get to be significant.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Fascinating

Although I approach old age I still can't stop feeling like I am young in many ways. I know this doesn't sound good. I should age gracefully I know. You know? Just shuffle along in a very camouflaged way and not disturb the attention of a youth obsessed world. But I can't.

I don't totally embarrass myself though. I'm not a total dick. But I do engage in areas of conversation that are probably best left to the younger person. And somehow I get away with it. I suppose it's because I am an artist and this somehow gives me a pass in terms of boundaries and restrictions. I have some innate credential.

You see. I don't talk about all the young stuff just impress the young. I do it because I find young culture more interesting than that of my peers. Shit!. Most of my late 50's counterparts are glued to football on TV or down the pub getting pissed yet again or fixing the palings on the back fence or some other such enlightening pastime. They are boring. The young are not boring. So I invade their turf I'm afraid. And thank goodness they sort of allow the older bloke in and share their little cultural things with me and I drink at the fountain of their youth and I don't even feel guilty. Because we share. I don't just take. I share by comparing how I used to think when I was their age and they enjoy it.

As life goes by it is ever more difficult to be fascinated. One can be interested or mildly amused but fascination is a whole different thing. I want to stay fascinated. Not bored--- nooo--- fascinated.

Then you have the other side to the coin.

The above bit was so happy warm and fuzzy wasn't it?

Here's the Mr. Hide.

Those young smart arses of today's youth are so pumped up with themselves. They think they are so cool consuming the technology which none of them had any part of inventing. Then they throw it in our faces like they are so hip and cool using it. Their whole culture is so derivative. They haven't added a damn thing to the whole mix. They have just had better tools to work with. Tools that past generation put in place for them to use. Yet they remain pumped up with their magnificence. Not only that they look at us with scorn. They want us to move on. To leave it all to them. To take our baby booming hands off the reins. They hate that we are the controllers. They think they are more than ready to take over from us- we are seen as tired and decrepit old fools. Their culture is where it is at. Those who I speak of are the ageists. Those little smart arses who think their generation shits all over ours. Because they have our toys they think they own the world we still rule. And not one of them has put in the effort. For instance: When are they gonna come up with some song that hasn't been ripped off from my generation ? Where's their invention of something like an electric guitar? They've done nothing except consume so far and it's time they came up with their own shit instead of feeling clever with our shit. We are the colourful flower power children, the ones who brought the cultural revolution- my generation. these latest parasites are just feeders nothing else. Try hard feeders!

We are the ones that polluted this planet so therefore we are the ones that did all the work. See!

Oops. I think I just shot myself in the foot.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Short

Life. The neverending drudgery or the existence? Whatever it is, it is all we have. Enjoy or not.

Revealed

Truth. It is out there. But is it in here?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Hey! Come on in.

I was just thinking about belief. Nothing new here. And I was asking myself; Why is it that people are so eager to have others adopt their beliefs? I thought; it's probably to do with the need to feel like they are believing the truth of all things. Because if no-one believes what they believe then they feel very much wrong. And we simply hate being wrong or seen to be wrong don't we. Nothing new here.

So that simple little paragraph answers why religions exist and continue to exist. People are introduced to someone's belief then they are given the insecurity of believing that if they don't have a belief then they are missing out or worse damned for eternity. See it is all self perpetuating. Nothing new here.

So everyone goes on believing what they believe and try to sell others what they believe because it makes them feel comfortable. We like to feel comfortable. Nothing new here.---- Ahhhh. I'm bored with that. Just pretend that I have acknowledged that I am unoriginal all the time in future writings. I'm sick of typing it already. I will remind you of its lack of originality from time to time only when I think there is an illusion that I have written something original. This won't happen very often thank goodness.

Back to it----

But here's the clincher. In their attempt to feel comfortable they have made themselves uncomfortable because they have to create a framework around them in their minds that makes it permanently reasonable for their belief to be the truth all the time. And this is where the F bomb comes in. No, not that one, I refer to the word faith. It's the door shutter. Once you throw that one around you can have a rest. All you have to do at the slightest sign of discomfort, like when someone actually backs you into a corner by showing you how imbecilic you are in your belief, is to drop the F bomb. That is, you either tell them to fuck off or you say you gotta have faith which is the same thing anyway.

Nothing new

I am an artist and I specialize in trying to come up with unique and original things. I was just at the dishes and I thought in retrospect, I have never had a brand new idea or thought in my life. What I mean by that is every thought I have ever had has been had by someone else at some other time or maybe even at the same time. That about wraps it up for our much admired originality. So nothing new here.

I'm going to start inserting this small clause into all my writings from now on- nothing new here. It's the only way to defuse the readers ire at my lack of originality. If he knows I know that he knows that I am not saying anything new or original he may feel that at least I sympathize with his quest to find new information. Something like that/ nothing new here. Hey there's the other bit to the small aside clause --"sorta like that/nothing new here" Maybe we could all start adding an abbreviated version of this little aside much like LOL to our text messages. SLT/NNH. It looks sort of cool doesn't it? SLT/NNH. And this follows on from my rant yesterday about the word Like being used all the time. I'm very consistent aren't I? SLT/NNH

Saturday, October 10, 2009

It's like

I know, like, I have spoken of this before. But, like, I think it's time I really had a go at it for real.

When you listen to, like, young women talk, like, you notice, like, that they always like use like as a pause to every sentence they like utter. Like has obviously like replaced umm. But it like sounds more like classy---not.

And like, the other like thing I like notice is that they like always end a sentence on an upsweep. It's like it's going to be a question but it's like not.

All in all it like shits me so bad listening to their infantile dross that I feel like saying fuck between every fucking word I fucking say to them and finish on a down sweep that sounds like a guttural roar from a beast of hell. You know? Just to even thing up a bit. But I don't wish to sound common. There's nothing worse than people who are trying to be neatly common and youthful by speaking with like and upsweeps in every sentence. They just don't have the guts to be straight out common. The worst part of it all is that they really think they sound cool by doing it. Herd animals- all of 'em!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Feeling

My father was short tempered and grumpy towards the end of his life. I had a patch a few years ago where I seemed to be constantly in a grumpy/ grouchy mood. This until I woke up. Being grumpy doesn't do anything. So I stopped. I don't know how I did it. I think I just sort of gave up on it.

I know most people simply can't help themselves. If they are sad or angry- they are sad or angry and that's it. One can't be expected to take control of oneself really can they? You feel as you feel and that's it.

I feel, ummm,------- I don't know how I feel. I am unable to really define how I feel right now. I am---- feeling nothing in particular.

I think that means I'm feeling good. Ok. That's how we should feel to feel good----nothing.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Free Will

The last posting was a prelude to this one. Just how free are we?

I know many people who find my belief that free will is an illusion to be very confronting. Pity really because if they gave it a go they would come to a very peaceful and accepting place such as I have found through this belief.

I don't believe in superstitious notions such as the devil and sin and all that phoney easy- way- out stuff put up by religions as an exercise in free will by ignoring temptation placed in front of us by the mythical bad dude and all that shit. They put this up just to keep people on their toes and needing the religious nonsense that they are peddling for the purpose of self sustaining their institutions. Fear keeps the bums on their seats.

So how do I prove my point?

I can put it really simply so that anyone can understand it. We have no free will. If we had free will we would never do the dishes, ever, and our homes would be to the roof in dirty dishes from day one of our lives. The dishes suck so bad that we would choose never to do them---ever!!! This is not the case and we are always doing dishes. We therefore friends, do not have free will. We are compelled to stay on top of the dishes. Where's the freedom in that?

And it's the same with all other things in our life. See how simply I have explained my belief? You would have to agree now wouldn't you?

No------??!!??

Obstinate bastard! Or my argument is flawed. You are free to choose your opinion here. Oops! I think I just blew my argument.

Alone here with my thoughts

I am trying to cram so much into my life at times. I have a graphic project going on at the computer whilst I am reading a book on the desk beside me also whilst I pick up my latest crochet project and stitch a few rows--all this -all at once. Man I am one busy bee! I simply can't do enough in every minute of the day to satisfy my wish to do stuff. And because I like all the stuff equally I do them all at once because I simply can't choose which one to prioritize. It's like I sense time running out and I have so much yet to do.

And whilst I busily do all this stuff simultaneously thoughts weave themselves into the mix. And I mean this in the literal sense. Thoughts weave themselves .

Why do the weird thoughts we have just jump into our minds? Apparently the first sign of madness is uncontrollable thoughts. But who can control their thoughts? We must be all mad I think. I will be happily washing the dishes off in my own little world and a creepy thought will just jump in. You know the ones? They are too crass or too sick to mention but in they come- out of the blue. Then our job is to put them out of our mind as soon as possible. We are so lucky we are not a telepathic species. We would truly be freaked out by the thoughts surrounding us if we were . It's bad enough freaking ourselves out- but to hear others too would be, well, a nightmare!

People are so poker faced aren't they? They can be having the grossest creepiest horror of a thought and it may be the urge to mutilate you mercilessly with a blunt knife but they carry on right in front of us as though nothing is going on inside them. Or what about the lecherous types? Women often complain about the leering male they encounter but what they don't realize even the most meek and mild individual may be having worse thoughts than the man who is not too good at covering it up. In fact all males at some time in their lives experiences porno right there in their head right in front of their target and the target becomes the star- in their head-- hidden away- but there nevertheless.

Thoughts. We live with them. But where do they come from? Who is the sicko sending them in? It can't be me. I'm too good for these thoughts. Aren't I?

Friday, October 2, 2009

Believing 2

Then again. If we don't have a belief in God then we don't think we are very important so then we undervalue our existence. But we will never undervalue our existence whilst we are alive and if we do then we commit suicide apparently because we have no reason to live, And now I am going round in circles and I am lost as usual.

Believing

We all know that the universe is really big. This is an understatement really. I am dumbing this blog site down. It's been aiming at the high brow intellectual in the past and I feel it may be best to talk more to the common person ( read not- so- bright)

Anyway we know the universe is really big, remember? See that's easier! But we can't really grasp how big because we are really very small by comparison. But we are able to think. We have a brain. So we think we are bigger than we really are. Or we refuse to accept that we are really not very important because we can think. We think therefore we are important. Get it?

Well this is where belief comes in. In order for us to feel very important we had to believe that we were created by the creator of the whole big thing for some special purpose and that we matter in some special way to this creator. In this way we can feel more important than we really are.

See. We refuse to be humble. Even when we say we are so humble and God is so great. The very fact that we believe in God means that we are not. Because we have created Him in order to make ourselves bigger than we really are.

There. Another gem of wisdom from the master. See how humble I am?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Hindsight

I read back over the posts of the last few days. This came to me. I am struggling to find things to write about. When you really look at my writing- there ain't much in 'em. Ah well. I enjoy the exercise anyway.

I was at the library yesterday. I browsed a couple of books and then found a thin ordinary little book stuck between two big showy ones. I pulled it out and it was so simply written I was able to digest it in a matter of an hour. That's it! It was so simple.

So beautifully simple.

That's how I wish to write; Simply. Beautifully.

Less waffle maybe? More punch maybe?

Yeah! When you really haven't got anything new to say it is best to say it colorfully. That way it is at least an enjoyable read.

And that my friends is what I have been trying to do. I have attempted to throw a bit of colour into the mundane existence I live.

Yes. I am pathetic. Desperate. All those things. But so too are you probably. You just don't realize it probably.

Yet

But hopefully I have now alerted you to the fact.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Confirming a New Relationship

The previous post was a real kick in the guts wasn't it?

I am so cavalier. I laugh in the face of death! Death I say, I fart in thy general direction ha hah! I ain't afraid! I wish it were true. The slightest mention of pain, my pain and I am weak at the knees. See how these blogs bring out my true nature? I am multiple personality for sure.

Anyway back to serious matters.

Confirming a new relationship people. In washing, when you hang out underwear to dry that you are not familiar with you know one thing. You're in a new live in relationship.

I'm hanging out underwear that I'm not familiar with. It's female attire so I know it ain't mine. Yep that confirms it. I'm co-habitating again.

See how observant I am?

About me

Gee it's hard to describe my blog to someone who hasn't read any of it. I was trying to do just that last night. If I were to describe what it's about to anyone it would sound a total bore. It probably is! But let me pretend it's not for just one moment.

See. I notice little things. I wonder if others do the same. That's what I do here. I write about the little things. We all would love to involve our time in the big things I know- but the little things really rule our days. I don't understand why so many people think their lives are so important- so large- so well, up there with the world leaders. I can't see it. I guess they are so under the hammer all the time they don't really step back like I do and have a good bloody look at themselves. And they think because they are under the hammer all the time then of course it follows that their life is very very big and important. They don't see that I see their lives as just a mess of over commitment. They can't sniff the roses- they don't have time.

And ya know what? I don't feel guilty in having the time to look at life in the way I do while they battle on. And why the fuck should I. Well, I am fortunate enough to have had just enough failures in my life to send me straight to the bottom. Down here there ain't that much to do and I figure that's where God would have me so here I am- happy and hard at work. Besides, somebody's gotta do it. And somebody's gotta take note. Otherwise the world just goes ever faster and out of control to the common person like me and you. And no-one calls it to account. Whatever "it" is.

So I do this thing of observation and comment here and I tell those around me I do this thing and they read my blog and they look at me in a sort of desperately puzzled and powerless way. I have no idea whether they agree with what I do or not. They are truly non-committal. Because they are caught in the web of their lives of over commitment, of busyness, of sprinting through life, of breeding their offspring and then pandering to their every need, of keeping order in chaos, of earning to keep themselves and others alive. They have their heads down and they are hard at it. Hard at it. And I don't mean to be uncharitable to their situation in saying this. It is an observation--that's all. And I don't condone laziness. We all are busy really myself included. I'm busy. I'm looking and reporting what I see to a world that really would prefer that maybe I didn't but rather put my head up my arse just as they do. It really does keep me busy. And no-one pays me to do it. I do it anyway. I am therefore charitable- don't you think?

But sometimes a person ( me in this case) slips through the net and scurries around like a bewildered rat. And like in the Matrix, sees the setup of our existence for what it really is. And doesn't complain about what he sees. But more laughs at it. Because that's the truly appropriate response to all this living business. Much of it is truly laughable. And if you see it any other way then you, my friend, are truly fucked. Because all that's left then are the tears and the desperation.

So laugh.

Laugh loud.

Laugh long.

And on your death bed when your toil is finally coming to an end- should you have any remaining energy- laugh just before you go. In fact make your last breath a laugh.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Centre of the universe

I saw a card the other day with a young woman pictured on it saying Me Me Me Me Me Me...........No........Really Me!

Today I read that the Hubble telescope has peered yet further into the vast universe and has taken a magnificent photo of galaxies further away from us than ever before. The distance? 13.1 billion light years!!!!!

And here I am on planet Earth. A little blue bubble in an insignificant part of this mind boggling vastness and I am doing the dishes and my universe is right here. And I am the centre of it. But then I thought of that card I saw the other day. No. I am not the centre of the universe. The universe has millions of centres. And they are called women. Young pretty women. Till they get old. Then they are overlooked as all eyes turn to the next wave of young pretty women.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Same words different day

The radio talk goes ever on. For all the english vocabulary at our disposal we use very few words. Like the word Draconian. It is used to describe any move by the government of the day to enact a bill that forces something to happen. Journos use it so regularly it has lost all impact. It's like it is the only word that is show pony enough to stand up to public display when discussing such matters. It can be anything but it must also be dramatic. So here at overthinking I am going to give it a try. I am going to endeavour to roll out some heavy duty words to really give my plain speaking blog a sense of importance and critical purpose. In this way I hope people will at last take me seriously. Because as you well know by now dear reader---I am a deathly serious writer.----Yeah right!!!

So I will write a small piece in my normal simple words and then I will write the same in some powerful words by using the thesaurus for the most colourful synonyms.

Here I go - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I went to the solicitor yesterday and he gave me a heads up on my situation with regard to the property settlement impending in my divorce. The news was not good. In fact it was terrible. I'm screwed. The bitch not only left me in the lurch, dick in hand, then jumped into bed with another guy two weeks after she left, but she gets a big fat reward for doing it. It is expected legally that she is entitled to half the house I owned outright when I met her. But what really pisses me off is that I paid that arsehole of a solicitor $110 just to hear that shit. Man! Life is cruel.

Fuck the rest of this excercise--I'm too pissed off to continue. I will write tomorrow---maybe.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The problem with allowing ads on your blog

Ya get those scientology ads--I hate that shit --don't ever think I support it- It's crap!! Can I be more plain?

The way to enlightenment

That's the title of the latest Dalai Lama book. The way to ---- what?

Much is made of this term. It is the one we all believe is beyond our capabilities. It seems, though we may try, we never really get there. Enlightened souls are all too rare or more they are all too invisible. No-one knows who is really enlightened or who is just another slime crawling along the bottom of this muddy pool called life.

It's weird though. A lot of people look at me believing that I, in fact, have it together in some way. They often congratulate me in my ability to maintain composure during crises and such. I guess to them I seem all too smooth. Well I have some little secrets. And I'm gonna let you all into them right here on overthinking:

Fact one: I really haven't got a clue what's going on around me.
Fact two: I don't really give a shit that I don't know what's going on around me. Who would want to know?
Fact three: I am lazy
Fact four: I am defeated. Life did get the better of me and it has improved my mental condition ever since. Being at the bottom is really the best place to be.

When you add up all the facts a relaxed and deeply spiritual existence is a very easy state to fall into. Of course it's all an illusion but it sort of works because in the end you yourself believe that this is what has happened to you. You actually begin to believe that you are enlightened.

Enlightenment therefore means bringing together all the negative aspects of everything and working them in your favour. The trick is to never ever try to improve your life. This is a major mistake many people make. We are supposed to all be bottom feeders it seems and any kind of rise towards the top will be resisted to the max. Go with this resistance and believe me you are in for one very boring and therefore, peaceful life in a state of blissful enlightenment. The reason: the lighter your load the greater you are lighter. See? It all makes sense in the end.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Deeper in dishes

You get to a stage in life where you think its all over. You have washed your last dish. You are dead. I thought my life would get ever simpler-less dishes because it will only be me that I will be doing the dishes for. No! I am now doing the dishes for someone elses kids as well as my own. I have added vastly to my dishwashing responsibilities. Am I an idiot? No!

I am just like everyone else in never knowing what life will have me doing next.

I know certain people who hold onto their state of unchanging and the thought of their lives falling apart in any way makes them break into a cold sweat. Oh! What if my partner leaves me- will I find another-- what if this what if that and so on and so on. They feel totally vulnerable and need security in order to function. If they were to encounter any kind of hiccup in their shaky lives ---well they would just fall apart. So they hold onto all types unsuitable people, partners and odd habits they have accumulated during their years of insecurity as though their very life depended upon it. They are in a constant state of freak out big time.

I will never be like that because I now have lost everything. I have freaked out to the max and I gotta say---I like it.

Deeper in dishes is all good. Bring it on!

I got a little dog that shakes for no apparent reason. She will just sit there shaking. There's gotta be some kinda message in that. I just can't see it for the moment. Maybe I'm simply not seeing the problems or if I do maybe I am so simple that I can't understand the gravity of the said problems. Or just maybe I'm just past caring.

Here's my bottom line thinking that may help all you worriers out there. We end up dead. Who gives a shit about all the shit that surrounds us then? When the shit comes flying at me, which it inevitably does from time to time, I just think about me dying and it all just goes the way it should--into nothing-- just like I will one day.

There. Isn't that helpful?

Sunday, September 6, 2009

I have been silenced

Recent events have pulled me up like a carrot out of the ground. My sisters house burnt down last week and I have vacated my home to allow her and family a place to live. I have lost my sanctuary for the time being and I have been placed in a situation where my desire to write has been temporarily turned off. It may end up permanent. By recent events I think someone is trying to tell me something maybe??? It goes like---shut up--enough enough!!! We are fed up with your constant crap--so here's a turn of events to dislodge you from your complacent banter about doing dishes.

Yep! There is a God--and he's had enough.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Cool it baby

Sex. Fabulous stuff. And here at overthinking I have avoided the subject pretty much. You see I could get into big big trouble if a certain person reads anything about this subject here on my beautifully old man-ish blog. It's a taboo. Well sorry darling I gotta say something on the subject. It's simply too large a subject to avoid any longer.

So sex-----------what can I say about it?

I've been at it for a long long time. It's an expression.It's a passion. It can be a compulsion. It's important. It's confronting. It makes us vulnerable. It's different with every person although it seems to be the same act. It's a deal maker or breaker. It's a motivator. It's a distraction. It relaxes . It stresses. It's pleasure. It's life and larger than life at the same time. It's anticipations greatest moment.

There is so much more the overthinking man could write here but there's enough to think about in what's been written by far more skilled writers than me.

But here's the really deep thing about sex. It creates life and that makes it the pinnacle act available to creatures. And us with our massive brain and its associated senses find it to be the best sensory experience we have available on this mortal plain.

Having said all that. Why do people put it down? Why do some people say it's overrated? Why do some people have it and afterwards feel that they have in some way performed a wrongful act? Why do all the religions spend so much of their efforts controlling an act that is inherintly magnificent?

I guess it's because to really do sex in the way it feels righteously performed involves a commitment between the parties involved. A commitment to actually feeling something beyond the physical. A commitment to allow a special bond to form between the parties.

And that commitment is: after we have had sex we must continue to have more sex and to forever wash dishes together in the eternal sink of bliss.

There. Wasn't that brilliant?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Thinking about thinking

Does the creator of this universe exist?

Did this same creator actually make himself mortal and walk amongst us?

Does our mind continue after our body dies?

Do we actually have a meaning and a purpose in our existence beyond just living day to day?

Did man ever rise to this technological state in the distant past only to go extinct through that same technology?

Are there intelligent extraterrestrial civilizations out there?

Now. The big question Where did I put the plug for the sink? Dishes await.

It's all good

This movie has just been released; The Age of Stupid, a drama-documentary set in a world destroyed by climate change, aims to highlight environmental issues.

I like a good comedy and let's face it, the state of this planet is a tragedy whilst the response by us inhabitants is a comedy. We aren't humans we are ostriches with our heads deeply buried in the sand. If any of us had any kind of motivation left in us we would all be at war right now. And who would we be targeting- the world's leader that's who. The whole lot of them are on a perpetual go slow whilst the world goes down ever faster.

Then I got to thinking----of course---it's really human nature to be extravagant with limited resource. Just think of it. We spend money we don't have and worse we spend time which we don't have. We do these things contrary to the facts in front of us. It's no wonder the Earth is going down. We are consuming it even though it is scarce, rare and irreplaceable. Just look into the sky at night. Do you see any blue bubbles out there that we can jump onto when this one is gone?

But we leave all the lights on when we don't need them we leave the heating on when we are cozy in our beds and we leave the important matter of taking action to relieve the global issues in the hands of just a few egotistical men. We deserve what is coming. And no-one knows what that will be- we can guess-but we've never faced what is coming before so we can't really know. One thing's for sure- it won't be good.

Now. I'm going back to sleep like the rest of you.