Sunday, March 29, 2009

Forever young

You know the title- the latest vampire love spin which is in books and now movies. I tried to get excited. I had been told how it was different and it was great. I must see it. It's a romantic love story movie apparently about a girl and a boy. Emphasis on the girl and the boy--17 year olds apparently. But the boy is a stranger in a strange land type- he is a vampire. Girls and women love this movie. So too did my brother in law though ---- he's a true stalwart for the equality of sexes apparently and he'd read the books. Apparently it's one of those where you simply have to read the book to truly get it. It didn't seem to deserve the get it thing. It didn't seem to have anything that warranted getting it.. I must have missed something I suppose.

Now, I pride myself on my ability to engage with the feminine side of my personality. I do this without reservation and shame because it fits the artist typecast. So I should enjoy this movie or at least appear to do so. But it simply wasn't very good. It was slow and it didn't engage me. I know- I should have liked it. My girlfriend was all mushy over it. That was the best part for me. I got lots of cuddles.

The teenage girls in the room- were totally---- well, you know------ like totally!!!! They reckon the guy who plays the vampire was totally ( that word again) gorgeous. So that's all that matters.

Anyway I sat there half watching it and really enjoying the snuggle up and cuddles I was receiving- so I absolutely love this movie. See it with your girlfriend. It's great!!!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Warning: Do not buy Empire Total War

My addiction caught up with me yet again. Yep. Games addiction. I managed to drop the bad- for -your- health stuff but am still addicted to video games. So when I see a game rated unanimously as near 100% great, well I just have to go buy it no matter I have no money at the time. And because it crashed I even consider buying a new computer just to run the bloody thing on if the problem is on my aged beast. Just shows how addicted I am.

Oh well- it won't send me broke- I'm already broke- and I won't be here on this planet forever so have to experience all the games I can. And it's not really hurting anyone- it's just that I am not really achieving anything. Yes. It is a total waste of precious time not Total War.

But it feels so much fun wasting time. Aren't we here to have fun really?

But here's the kicker. The bloody game is the buggiest I have ever owned. At some point in the game- just after you are totally hooked on the fun of it- it does a CTD. I didn't know what a CTD was but because I am so modern and intelligent- I figured it out- It means Crash To Desktop. If I had dug a little deeper I would have known that. It's reported all over the web. They rush these bloody games out full of bugs and we suckers buy in good faith only to have to wait till they work out where they stuffed up. The games companies are so hungry to pull money in they just don't give a shit about their reputation or their customers. They used to do this back in the mid- nineties. Here we are in 2009 and they are still doing it. You wouldn't put up with this sort of thing with any other product. It's amazing what psychological addiction will allow in the broader community.

Do not buy Empire Total War. At this time- You are wasting your money! Shame reviewers shame! Your enticements are causing consumers great losses. Are you being paid nicely by these rogues to promote a dud?

PS- Even if you buy the boxed version from retail you must involve an external company, Steam, in the installation of this game. That in itself is dubious. They did this just to protect their precious dud from the pirates. Funny thing is from what I have read the pirated downloaded versions may run just fine. How's that- who said honesty pays?

Friday, March 27, 2009

I need a new rig!!!!!!!

Just purchased Empire Total War. Just getting addicted. Bang! And not from the game. Crash. Big time. Still what can one expect. My poor old beast is 6 years old. It's ancient in PC terms. I've tweaked and I've poked around inside and I've upgraded and I've given it all the encouragement in the world. But it's old. The quickest way to know when you gotta get a new rig is when you get the latest game. More money to spend. But not for a while. Too much going on- so my latest game acquisition goes into the vault till the new beast arrives later on in the year. Patience is a virtue.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Is this love?

A friend text me this evening frantic that this fellah who she has just met, three days ago says he loves her. Yep. It can happen that quickly people. Problem is though- no-one believes it. But hang on------ no-one knows what love is really---- so what don't they believe? They don't know what they believe really and here we go round the Mulberry bush.

Hell! A person saying they love you can ruin your entire day. It is just so distracting!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Welcome Slashdotters ( if any)

My shameless promotion worked. Nya ha haaaaaa!!! You will find the Spidey reports to be the most relevant postings to living in the Age of Speed. I have been watching this big spider who lives with me for about a month now. It's pretty much the centre of my life at present. I hope it becomes yours also.

Spider action

Big night for Spidey. He traveled all of about 12 inches

The Age of Speed and distraction

Vince Poscente has just released his book of the title The Age of Speed.Tips on getting more done with the time you have. Here is an article about it. Anyway I haven't got time to go into this because I want to go on to more important things.

It just occurred to me that the reason my blog is drawing blank response is that it is beyond everyone's understanding. Like when I wrote about us being like holograms in last night's post--no-one knows what a hologram is. So here is what a hologram is:A hologram is a picture that changes when looked at from different angles. This is what our old partners are and this is what we end up looking like to them. Get it?

See I was making sense.

And another reason there is never any response to anything I write here is because what I write about is totally unimportant to anyone but me. It's lucky I'm interested in me or no-one would read my writings.

what do people read about? Pop culture mainly.

They must be sold on what they read first.

It must appear on the other media - TV-magazines- etc etc.

No-one seeks knowledge from the written word of little people. There must be a heightened sense to the importance of the subject first. This is why people like Paris Hilton have far more attention than they deserve. Her observations on life are extremely shallow but have a huge following nevertheless. As do most every celebrity. This world is exploited by those who understand that the population comprises of masses of shallow thinkers. These people pander to the shallowness of the majority of the population and it works well in raising them above such masses.

For the serious population and when I say serious I mean intellectual snobs- anything they read must come from a qualified person ( meaning brainwashed credential exhibitor). I am to all intent and purpose, uneducated and don't possess a bit of paper stating my intellectual brilliance. Even humour must be cleverly quirky- odd in fact. Mundane humour as I write is not to the taste of the highbrow that's for sure. They are too smart to get it.

So I stick with trying to appeal to the masses. So I really try to be shallow. But that in itself is the problem. The fact that I have to try alerts people that I am a fake. And people have a nose for the truth. They want to relate to truly shallow people just like themselves.

Holograms are fake and forever changing depending on how you look at them. Now I know I am a hologram but apparently everyone else isn't. This is getting worse. And here's the real reason no-one looks at my writings- The writer is lost so how can he expect anyone to follow him? God I can't even follow myself sometimes.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Voices in the dark

In the darkness last night I was laying next to my beautiful girlfriend chatting away about how strange it was that we are now together and we were amazed at our journey through life. We had been married for over 20 years but to other people. We were talking about how it is so odd to see our ex partners in their new relationships and how they now appear to be completely healed from being the bastards and bitches they once were when we were with them. They were so caring to their new partners. They are soooo nice. You know--- friendly------caring----- courteous------polite---affectionate----witty------compliant-------flexible-------adaptable-------co-operative---attentive------and well----------everything nice and happy happy warm glowing mushy feelings on public view---- everything they never were to us in our long history together.

Then it came to me, as I lay there beside my beautiful lady. I was given insight into what it is all about. In the darkness I said- " We are just the holograms of some playful spirits from some other place". There was silence. For quite some time there was silence and then she said " Really?" Then there was another pause in the dark. We lay there some more and she said " Where did that come from?" I didn't know. I guess it came from some other place. Oh my God!!! We are holograms!!!!!

Good night.

My friend Spidey has returned

He's back- He's been on a long journey down into the gallery on the front of my house and under a display case and all around the place. Then he hid for a while and now he has come back to proudly sit on the wall infront of me in the lounge. The exact same place as he was when I first met him. He is a true traveller

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Living on shaky ground

The Earth's -a - shakin' !!!

After two earthquakes here in the last few weeks and news of a huge one yesterday near Tonga I got to thinking:

We are living on shaky ground. Not only literally but philosophically socially mentally. I shouldn't have to spell this out. You all know what I mean. Which one of us feels totally comfortable with the way the world is at the moment?

The ones who do have long necks and stick them in holes in the ground.

But, Oh No I ain't scared. I ain't afraid. I'm dancing while the world it shakes. La de da etc etc. Come on- I'm shitting myself!!!

What next?

Friday, March 20, 2009

I'm common

I just did this personality test. It was accurate. Damn! I thought I was such an individual.

Spider update update

He's gone. We spotted him on the floor a couple of days ago. He looked dead but he was only playing. I left him there and when I cam back home he was gone. Maybe he's finished doing nothing and gone off to do something. Maybe he's dead. I think this could be the way people see me.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Facebook this is Blogger calling

RSS feeds are interesting. I never get anyone looking at my Blogger writings so, in desperation, I have fed them to Facebook where they can also be never read. Reasons for this may be:
a/ I am boring so my words are boring
or b/ There is simply too many people putting up too much stuff. Plus people have no time for reading anything other than what they are told to read by media critics etc ( example: a- bit of -every- fantasy- novel- ever- written- a.k.a. Harry Potter books ) these days. I tell ya though--- aside from the crap some people's blogs are the most interesting read you can have . They are real. They are fascinating.

I think my writings are bloody fascinating- so up yours World!!! I'm having a good time here.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Ego crushing techniques for the beginner

Today viewers I will give my tricks on squashing that pesky ego. Anyone who knows or meets me realises straight up that I am an egotist. This is the result of too many scores on the board from too early an age I'm afraid. It pumps a bloke up and he can be very hard to deflate when he gets to that stage. So here's a few of those handy dandy tips to get that rotten ego right to where it belongs- sunk under 200 festering tons of pain.

The first tip is a fairly self evident one.

Get dumped!! Yes I know it hurts but come on its a sure fire way to take the ego down quite a few notches. It's fairly easy to do if you are a total arsehole to your partner. But the true finesse of this technique comes in if you can hook yourself up with a partner who is an arsehole. Then add the magic ingredient- fall totally in love with him or her, turn their every wish into your command and wait on them hand and foot. Then after you are dumped bad make sure you go out and get another one exactly the same to replace the arsehole. This is the additive technique. After a couple of those you should be off your feet in no time.

Ok. The dumping technique is drastic- no subtelty there I'm afraid. So lets turn to a more gentle but effective method. Communication with a superior.

For us older people all that is required here is to talk to anyone younger than us really. But the principle for everyone is this:

Make sure you find someone who has a superior intellect to your own. They are pretty much everywhere so you won't have much trouble finding one. The trick I used recently was to engage in conversation with a religiously raised university student. They are perfect. Their religious indoctrination makes them perfectly closed off to just about anything you say- it's much like talking to a brick wall- oow I'm so cruel!!! And the fact that they have a little learned knowledge from the theorists at university really gives them that edge for knowing it all. But here is the real trick. Make sure you go to the subject pertaining to their field of study and make sure you know nothing about it. What a fucking gem!!! Isn't that an absolute pearler???? It worked well for me. No sooner had I got hot under the collar than my pesky ego was totally hammered. It was wonderful. I haven't blushed that much in ages. I feel so beautifully crushed and am ready to grow as a better person. Well, for today at least. But tomorrow is another story.

I have noticed that we are inclined to get back on the horse very quickly. We make up excuses for our defeat, forgive our poor performance and get right back up there -cocky as you like!

The battle is on

My daughter is the prize in an ongoing battle between two Goliaths of the internet. It's like something out of Highlander the movie. There can be only one. She started with 400 suitors and has whittled her way- after several months- down to just 2. Isn't this exciting

The Facebook Feed

Facebook - Macbook- all these modern little names created by modern little men.. God! I'm a cynic! But really!!! Most of these little men probably haven't opened up a real book in their entire lives.

I think I might call myself Petebook. Petebook Cool. Great name. The most addicting component to these social networks is the one that implies the myth that we mean anything to anyone. All this crap we put up is really just to wave our arms and say Hey look at me!!!--- I am important! --- Can you see that?--- I really am important---- See world---- it's me whoopeee!!!! I'm not dead yet.

And before any nitpickers jump on their high horses and say " Yeah but you are on facebook" I say-- This is me observing-------observing the human situation---- this means all of us ---- me included.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Being magic can be tough!

I thought I was pretty much a bottom feeder for most of the last 30 years. When you're an artist and you are fairly average at art, well there's really only one way to go----down. I mean this in the most charitable way to myself. I'm really not that bad- I have lived off art for many years. It took me some 24 years to develop these negative feelings about myself but I was given some excellent and skilled help in this. I married a "loser amplifier" and was stupid enough to keep it that way for 24 years. Amazing what a pretty face will do to a bloke.

Anyway that's just a sour grapes bit of writing . Now here's the meat of this enlightening piece. Here's the thing that split my wife and I up in the end- she took up an addiction to an intoxicant called Ramtha the enlightened one and got very strange. This thing is the affliction of some American woman called J Z Knight . She reckons she has this 35000 year old male warrior moving in and taking over her brain from time to time- but only when the public show is on. He's such a caring warrior and well mannered, which is odd for a warrior you know, that he pisses off when he's done sprouting his bullshit outta her mouth. The poor woman! She must feel such a fool. Luckily she has managed to make a bit of money out of it so I guess things aren't all that bad for her. So my poor ex believes all this stuff. Good enough I suppose. We all gotta believe in something.

I tell you I believe. I believe !!!! I beliieeeeeeeve. Hallelujah!

Anyway I've got that off my chest. I'll get back to the dishes now. I believe there are some in need of washing.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Spider update

He's gone! I know he will turn up though. He loves playing hide and seek. He will scare the bejeezus out of me soon enough- mark my words. He's such a great friend- always playful.

He needs a Facebook page of his own. I should share him around. No. I am the jealous type when it comes to friends. He's mine.

Spidey-----------Where are you?

The Smarts

Amazingly I remember back to early 1990's. My first serious computer was a Pentium 90 and I was so proud. It had 32 Mb of RAM. Can you believe it?

The WWW turned 20 this month. Reading this got me to thinking--------------------

I'm an artist right?

Artists are known for their vision.

Artists can see things before they happen. Right?

I basically ignored the WWW when a mate at the time showed it to me on his computer. This would have been 1993.

I was not inspired.

I was unimpressed.

I was underwhelmed.

So----------I'm not an artist.

Mind you. I was pissed at the time.

The meaning of this? I don't know. The meaning of anything? I don't know. Who knows? I dont know.

There are a lot who believe they know. But they don't.

Now we are simply so pumped up with information because of this bloody WWW thing-- we will never know anything anymore. It has even blinded artists- not that I feel I am one now.

Saturday, March 14, 2009


I love my new friend. He has been hanging around my place for the past several weeks so he obviously likes it here. He was near my computer for a couple of days until my mate Graeme gave him a friendly pat and only then did he move. In fact when he moved it was like lightning which was really surprising. But mostly he likes to sit around motionless for days on end. This is why I like him. He is so much like me. He likes doing the same things I do.-------------NOTHING!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Word of the day

Snollygoster---------hey that's me!!!!–noun Slang. a clever, unscrupulous person.

Back due to popular demand

Oh yeah-- right!

Anywho-- I'm back. Got some more rubbish to empty on a disinterested world. Read on .

The day started on a really decisive note. I think that I was inspired by my cat. He chased off a black cat first thing this morning. I was very impressed. I think it is time I chased off some black cats of my own.

When you're a thinking addict such as I am you may find yourself sucked in to various thought provoking movements. This was what happened to me recently when I signed off here and said I was going to be too busy studying the Kabbalah to have any spare time for this blog. Well that would have been true had I not realized that I had been sucked in to yet another fruitless time wasting thought addicting process. Hell, we can waste time if we don't watch ourselves. Mind you, in my opinion, most everything we do or say can in some way be considered a waste of time. That's really all we do. We come into this world with the purpose of wasting time. Time is what this reality is about. It doesn't exist anywhere else but in this reality. Man, that's deep isn't it? See what a couple of months break can do? I must have ingested some more crap from some book or website I browsed over that time.


So team. I'm back!! Did you miss me?