Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Ego crushing techniques for the beginner

Today viewers I will give my tricks on squashing that pesky ego. Anyone who knows or meets me realises straight up that I am an egotist. This is the result of too many scores on the board from too early an age I'm afraid. It pumps a bloke up and he can be very hard to deflate when he gets to that stage. So here's a few of those handy dandy tips to get that rotten ego right to where it belongs- sunk under 200 festering tons of pain.

The first tip is a fairly self evident one.

Get dumped!! Yes I know it hurts but come on its a sure fire way to take the ego down quite a few notches. It's fairly easy to do if you are a total arsehole to your partner. But the true finesse of this technique comes in if you can hook yourself up with a partner who is an arsehole. Then add the magic ingredient- fall totally in love with him or her, turn their every wish into your command and wait on them hand and foot. Then after you are dumped bad make sure you go out and get another one exactly the same to replace the arsehole. This is the additive technique. After a couple of those you should be off your feet in no time.

Ok. The dumping technique is drastic- no subtelty there I'm afraid. So lets turn to a more gentle but effective method. Communication with a superior.

For us older people all that is required here is to talk to anyone younger than us really. But the principle for everyone is this:

Make sure you find someone who has a superior intellect to your own. They are pretty much everywhere so you won't have much trouble finding one. The trick I used recently was to engage in conversation with a religiously raised university student. They are perfect. Their religious indoctrination makes them perfectly closed off to just about anything you say- it's much like talking to a brick wall- oow I'm so cruel!!! And the fact that they have a little learned knowledge from the theorists at university really gives them that edge for knowing it all. But here is the real trick. Make sure you go to the subject pertaining to their field of study and make sure you know nothing about it. What a fucking gem!!! Isn't that an absolute pearler???? It worked well for me. No sooner had I got hot under the collar than my pesky ego was totally hammered. It was wonderful. I haven't blushed that much in ages. I feel so beautifully crushed and am ready to grow as a better person. Well, for today at least. But tomorrow is another story.

I have noticed that we are inclined to get back on the horse very quickly. We make up excuses for our defeat, forgive our poor performance and get right back up there -cocky as you like!

No comments: