Thursday, September 2, 2010

This blog now in Permanent Hiatus

I figured out that I can stop overthinking by property development. I have heaps of tradesman type projects to perform. It leaves no time to think of the useless crap I have filled this quaint little blog with over the years. I can see now why people keep themselves so busy. It's the best way to stop those worrying thoughts. Head down- arse up--- way to go.

And to all those troubled people who have been reading my unimportant posts over the years--- I hope you got something from them. I did. And as you allow yourself to slip into your own preoccupations-- think of me-- think of how I discovered the best way of escaping from the prison of self absorption. Simple. Bite off more than you can chew--- and chew like buggery!!! No time for self indulgence then. Your problems with yourself are therefore immediately solved.

Cheers all-- I'm cured

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Resisting the urge

A while back I wrote of the ongoing problems I had with a friend who suffered Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. She has since written to me and said that she read my post and that it made her laugh and all is good with us.

in that post I wrote down 3 rules that I must follow. I have now made a forth rule.

Don't write back don't write again don't write to her--- don't do it!!! It's an illusion--- it will go to Hell again--- don't write back!!!!


I think I have the message.

Well I know she will read this humble little post-- and she will say-- it was funny-- it made me laugh--- but I don't care--- don't write back-- keep your silence overthinking man--- resist temptation.

Ahh. I feel the temptation subsiding-- it worked!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Spreading the word

For all those who spend many hours telling us what they believe and why we should too I would ask one simple question:-

Why is it important to you to do this?

I just accidently read an article by an atheist about how he feels about death. I left him a comment. I did this because this is why he writes his articles for the newspaper in the first place. I said simply:-

Please just refresh me as to why it is important for you to get the no-god message out to us.

I find it hard enough to decide on what yummy cake I am going to have with my coffee. Deciding what to believe is even harder. I think I will go with:-

I believe that I believe

I believe there are some dishes to wash.

This I do believe.

Everyone is right! It's so satisfying to believe in something. I feel so much better now that I have established my clear belief. I hope it helps all my avid readers too.

Friday, August 13, 2010


Ok I went to see this much touted  sci-fi movie the other night. Firstly let me say that it really isn't as good as people make out. It's a great concept but the acting and the movie itself is not really that brilliant. It's still nothing new. The dream within a dream thing and the lost reality thing has been done before. But let me state the real reality of the movie- it's a mess! And it's not that great to look at neither. I was not overwhelmed by the special effects or the actors. The character development was just ordinary. The bottom line was that it was a total mess. People are confused by total messes. People have been confused into thinking this movie means something and is brilliant. They have been blinded by confusion. The concept was derived from many movies over many years and wrapped up new. Just as everything else we are told is earth shattering in cinema nowadays.

We were promised that it would be different-- with the vast amount of gunplay in it-- it is not different at all. It's a series of action sequences strung together by interactive storyline layers.

The question posed is--- Would the real reality please stand up?

Now as the overthinking man what do I reckon about the questions the movie posed concerning reality?

Reality------ who knows? Pain is a good way to assess one's reality. But the best gauge of the real reality is  as it always has been. Doing the dishes. Nothing could be so boring except the real reality. Forget the much touted totem thing---- dishes---- dirty dishes--- that's it!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Safely Back

I went off to build my beloved picket fence yesterday ( that's a whole other subject) and I was looking forward to a peaceful and constructive day. Suddenly out of the blue in comes a very angry sms. I'm in a spin. What have I done? Oh. I wrote on a female friend's wall on Facebook. I'm an idiot. She has Obssessive Compulsive Disorder and I thought she would get my little rant on the problems she has been having with her internet connection. A person who has this mental condition should be avoided like the plague at the best of times and even more so when she is having computer problems.

Anyway I thought about my situation ( after I had frantically tried to convince her that I didn't call her a fuckwad but the naughty telecom company person who was not helping her) and here are the new rules for my engagement with this person.

1. Don't write anything to her

2. Don't write anything to her

And 3. Don't write anything to her.

There I think I have got it now. My life is feeling calmer already.

Friday, July 16, 2010

New to overthinking

I been writing this shit for nearly 3 years and there are so many posts here. So..... where do you start if you are a newcomer? Start by pissing off. Do yourself a favour and don't get started. You will hate yourself in the morning.


You are still here?!?!

Oh well..........................

I hope you enjoy your little visit. And I hope you like my funny little musings......................

No I don't!!! I don't give a shit!

Just piss off!

Overthinking just makes me angry. You don't want to be angry do you? You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. ( Bill Bixby- Incredible Hulk circa 70's) And I don't want to make you angry. So pleeease............

Oh well. Stay if you will.

Oh. By the way. I have a split personality too.


That's what I do. I snark. I make comments that are barbed both in content and intent. Oh. I feel so awful now that I have discovered the word for what I do. I don't know why anyone would want to know me now. They all must be a very forgiving bunch of people I tell ya.

I know why they put up with me though. It's because I make up for my nasty little habit by being soooo friendly at other times. It's how I prepare them for the emergence of the snark . It waits patiently inside of me for the right opportunity. Just when they are thinking what a great guy I am-- out it comes. Gotta keep them on their toes.

amazing what you learn whilst looking at other things. I was reading this article on Ben Stiller's latest movie. It sounds exactly like me. and the rest of the ageing population of Western men for that matter. Life does disappoint and what have we left to do?


Monday, June 28, 2010

Ear Vacuum

I have been struggling with hearing out of my right ear for the last 5 weeks.

I finally got in to see an ear doctor and he stuck a mini-vacuum cleaner in my ear and vacuumed out this huge mass of garbage.

I knew people talked shit. And over my 58 years I have accumulated it-- in my friggin' ear!!!!

It's gone now. But I fear a continuation of the build-up. So I have stopped listening to people's shit.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Can't stay quiet

Those rotten rich bastards have gone and got our PM the sack. I don't want no readhead PM. I was happy with the beigehead I voted for.

Make no mistake people-- those rich pricks run this country not the government. How is it that those exploitative and greedy types are rewarded for their self centred ways and made out to be heroes in our society at the same time?

We owe them nothing. Our wealth, in no way, is tied into their wealth. This is the myth they have us believe. Our wealth is dependant on us getting it despite their wealth. We have just lost our PM by the internal workings of the fat cats getting inside the political  sanctum.

Oh Well. I guess I will contact Kev and see if he would like to learn how to crochet. I could also introduce him to the joys of dishwashing. He needs something to do whilst he gets over the pain.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

No Sunspots Still??

The Sun is very quiet. Strange!
This is supposed to be it's 11 year cycle activity high and nothing is happening. No sunspots.

I feel the same way. I have run out of things to think about. You may have noticed the slow decline in the amount of writings appearing here at overthinking. You may also notice I am repeating myself. But Hell! I can't keep up the momentum forever. There is simply not enough in my humble life to sustain the variety or even warrant the overthinking in the first place.

Oh! And it could be that I have just gone ahead and got myself a life so don't need this daily purging of inner angst.

Yep! That's it! I'm finished-- for now--- sorta.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Psychic or Sick -ick

John Edwards, the guy who talks to dead people,  is in the news here in Melbourne.

i have seen this guy on the old foxtel on his show Crossing Over or whatever it's called.

Yep. He speaks to dead people. It's how he makes his living. And he does very well from it too I would think.

I think I will start talking to dead people too. The live ones are getting pretty boring right now. And they are all too busy to talk now anyway. I reckon I may get more time out of those who have run out.

But seriously now. Well as serious as I can get on this silly posting-- who can talk to the dead? No-one --that's who.

Anyone who says they talk to the dead is able to do so because they require no proof. They simply have to be tricky in what they say. They gotta be good at fishing too. If you are good at these things there is a good salary awaiting you. This is because there are so many gullible people out there who want to believe that there is a way to talk to deceased loved ones. They are desperate. They can't let go of the dead. They simply must hold onto any hope whatsoever that they can in some way connect with their dearly departed.

But God allows no connection between the living and the dead. This is because there is no purpose to it. I mean what purpose does it serve? It doesn't help the person let go in the least because then the departed are suddenly alive again and we know that this is not in the big or divine plan. We wouldn't die if it were to be so.

I'm a fortune teller myself. Here I go. I will make this prediction that is 100% accurate. You and I are gonna die. We are not coming back and we won't be able to communicate with our loved ones whom we leave behind. It's all over Red Rover. There now you can rest easy in what the future has in store for you. No need for Mr Edwards anymore.

You got it here on overthinking for free

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

What Apple needs to make

Shavers. They could make electric shavers that have screens in them so you could watch the news whilst you shave or maybe they could put a shaver in the next Iphone.

Steve Jobs could then launch it clean shaven. Or better still having a shave. That would be so cool. Now that would be a selling point!


Americans love oil. But now that they are wearing it maybe they may see the merit in moving on to some other kind of energy to fuel their lifestyle. Deep sea drilling is too risky. They may need another bath in the black goo before they wake up however. The need for day to day lifestyle is more important than anything to we ostriches with our heads in the sand.

It inspires me to ask the age old question. The only truly relevant question:

What's it gonna take?

This in the Age online today " Excuse me, which country is the biggest oil consumer on the planet? Who refused to do anything about climate change, or even to put sensible taxes on gas? Heck, your president even flies around in a 747 when a modest Gulfstream jet would get him there just as fast. So of course the oil companies have to drill in more and more dangerous places. If you insist on being addicted to cheap oil, you have to recognise there are risks attached. So grow up, and stop acting like children."

Yep it's sort of poetic justice isn't it? I feel sorry for the wildlife though. It is the innocents that are being killed. The fat cat land lubbers are still fuelling their cars and resisting any change to their consumer habits.

Though they now do a bit of fist waving and of course the inevitable finger pointing. The finger needs to turn around and point to the individual really- 6.5 billion of them and rising by the second. We are all part of this. It's not  just the companies who stuff things up that cause the problem. Every one of us buys the shit and everything that comes from it. It is the true heroin of the masses. We would not be without it.

So while we are caught needing it so much this is the way it will be. The future's gotta come and quickly. We can't hold back we are in this oily world and we have to keep slipping on it till we find some other way. We all know that this is not going to happen though. We will always need oil. But we won't need as much as we do now if we learn to live a more conservation style of life.

Stuff that eh? Rather be dead!

The new church

I was at the Digital Life exhibition here in melbourne on Saturday. Other than feeling like an alcoholic in a bottle shop I felt pretty good about seeing all the latest cameras etc. But here I go again------- those dickheads from Apple!!! I am so over their religious type of behaviour. I walked past their stand early on and there was much whooping and hollering going on. That was sickening enough. Then I walk past it again later in the day and the congregation were sitting in their pews mesmerised by their preacher. That too was an alarming sight. Apple appears truly a religion for some now.

As I have said in the past, I used to think the sun shone outta Apples. Back in the '80s it was a wonderful brand. Their people had soul. They cared about their products in a healthy and realistic way. It showed and it was genuine. But it was never like this sick starry eyed brainwashed look they all have now. It has all travelled up the scale way too much and now has them behaving  exactly like members of a religious cult.

In fact I think the most fundamental of religious zealots in full flight could not muster as much frenzy as many of these Apple people.

What's that say about us? Lost it or what?

Friday, May 28, 2010

Oh the genie is out of the bottle

Ipad. They are out in the wild here in Oz and the suckers are there lining up to be the first. One word for these poor souls- unhinged. Apparently even the staff at Apple are unhinged. Apparently being a true fan of Apple required that you be unhinged. It's the only valid response to something so important as an apple product.

I walked into Borders last night and there in the doorway to their store they had their sad little $199 e reader. It looked totally pathetic by comparison. But it was gentle to the eyes. Oh the Ipad is so much better though. It's an overgrown Iphone that will capture everyone in the end. Why? Because we are all unhinged. We may not realize it-- but we are.

Here's the report- it's stomach churning stuff-- not for the feint hearted. In the capturing of the consumers' hearts and minds--- It's a war zone out there.

Wild scenes at iPad launch - mostly from Apple staff

Sunday, May 23, 2010

No place for the feint hearted

The politically correct here in the organic world, the goody two shoes and the bleating sheep, they all rule us here. They control what we say and do in ever increasing ways. These same people have turned our children into self absorbed wimpy little princes and princesses. God help the latest generation. If they ever suffer a sore toe they will be beside themselves.

So when I see these same do gooders trying to censor the internet I say tell them to fuck the hell off!!! Take your pansy ways outta cyberspace and never come back. We have to let off steam somewhere in an ever controlling world and the net is the perfect place to do it. In a harmless and free speech kind of way. I'm not for the shit but at the same time I'm not for restriction of the net in any way. It must be an anarchy. We need an anarchy somewhere. There are more than enough rules here in the real world. We need freedom somewhere. And it may as well be here.

Thank goodness all those interfering do gooders are also totally clueless when it comes to tech. They are too busy buried in their bible to understand the true nature of a thing like the internet. They will fail. It's so much bigger than their tiny minds could imagine already. It's beautifully out of control. And there are enough truly intelligent people out there keeping it that way.


Windows 3 is 20 years old today and I really miss it. Yes I am mad. Why would I miss such a clunky operating system when we have our wonderful Windows 7 and OSX today?

Well I miss the struggle. I miss the feeling of being really special when you got your computer of the day to actually do something.; and to do it without crashing. And I miss that you really had to know what you were doing in those days. We who were competent at all things PC in those days were looked at as gods or at least mystics who had the secret knowledge only known to the gifted few.
Now the world is filled with pretenders. Everything happens too easily. They get really cocky in their abilities I tell ya. Like all these young egotists reckon they are so bloody smart skating around in the safe confines of their friendly operating systems. Take that away and make them work for their results and they are totally out of their depth. They have it too easy. And they think the sun shines out of their little tight arses as a result of it.

It will never go back sadly. and this is the nature of nostalgia. We forget that we thought something was a total pain in the arse at the time. We feel that the struggle imbued a quality of special to the things we had to work hard to do. So many things are like that. Take parenting for instance. No. Let's not. We're supposed to like it remember. But  kids are spoilt little brats who demand everything and give back the occasional nod of recognition of our existence in return ( if we are lucky) in reality. But we are not supposed to notice are we? Coz parenting is the best thing we can ever do. Nostalgia. It hides the pain well.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

The mistaken youth

While plenty of adults are computer literate, the internet is really the realm of the young person. quote Steph Bow The Age

Well here's an example of exactly what I rail about from time to time. These young self absorbed individuals who think they are the modern elite on the computer.  I would love to ask this young girl Which generation she thinks  invented the bloody thing she reckons she and her generation own or at least have majority rights too? Answer: My generation The very one that gave these plagiarising users the stuff they call their own- The cursed Baby Boomers!!! Oh when are these pumped up little princes and princesses going to get over themselves? When they have babies-- that's when.

In the meantime; When are they gonna actually invent something really important or make anything that is truly original and not simply derived or outright stolen from my generation? Let's see ya baby girl!!! Let's see ya !!! We're waiting.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Presidential agreement

Concerning my writings on the dangers of modern living the president of the United States of America took note and agreed with me yesterday. See Here
Wow. I didn't know he read my humble blog. Nothing would surprise me about him. He is a very amazing and intelligent person. And he's really good looking like me. I was totally incorrect in my I know blog also yesterday. I thought I was a little person but no---- I am huge. The President follows me. Man!!!

Monday, May 10, 2010

I know

See I know my life is small. I have seen through the illusion. I accept my lot.

But I am amazed at how some people think  they are especially important and destined for greatness; and by simple association everything around them is also extremely important; in fact it actually revolves around them. Oh yeah. This is the me generation.

I guess these people would describe me as a self deprecating pessimist.


They would be right.

Held alongside their lofty expectations and feelings of self importance--- yep they would be right!

But a little voice inside me says---

"I still like being me. Because I know anonymity and being little and unimportant equals peace.
Lack of expectations results in pleasant surprises instead of bitter disappointments.
Blessed are the wimps for they shall----- relax!"

Dangerous times

Yes they are my friends. We are all losing our minds--- rapidly. With the amount of input we receive each day we have a brain full of stuff. We are so filled with this stuff coming from you know where- the glowing rectangles we peer at all day- that our ability to actually feel at peace is fast disappearing. I am amused by the smugness of the young people I know- particularly school aged kids. They are so full of themselves in their ability to suck it all up like a sponge. They think that these waves of information coming in from an endless sea of useless crap break against them like rocks in the ocean. In other words they are coping big time. Oh no! This same diet of over-information is going down their intellectual plug hole and they too are filling up. Give them another few years, and I am talking maybe 10 max- and they will be struggling just like us old farts.

I am at the stage now whereby if I am at the library and I am browsing the books i get as far as the title, the synopsis on the back cover, a quick flip through then I make the decision to actually borrow the book then I continue to the next book, still carrying my first choice, repeat the process and so on till i have maybe 3 or 4 books.
Then this thought comes in---

-"I'm wasting my time. I'm never going to read these books."

The thought of actually reading them is exhausting. I know I will be sitting reading useless shit on the Web in preference to reading this shit in these books. So then I go ahead and put them all back and exit the library. Reading is now a chore-- not a pleasure. I am suffering burn out.

Then Apple chief, Mr Jobs in his neverending quest to rule the minds of men ( well, their pockets at least) decides to send out his next wave of useless information receiving devices-- the bloody useless IPad--- and we are again at the mercy of more crap flowing in from a slightly bigger or slightly smaller glowing rectangle depending on what device we have come from. See. You must have them in all sizes so you are never without one of them. We will need 10 different size screens in the end. Why? Well we have 10 fingers don't we? Oh hang on. Then we have 2 eyes so better make that 20. Yep. I can handle that. 20 devices at once-- no problem. I'm just limbering up right now. Gotta keep up with the youth of the world. They are so cool. No they ain't-- little pumped up me me lovers is what they are really.

Oh man- I'm so tired. It will be over soon. Another 20 years or so and I will have some peace. If I'm lucky. They will probably keep our brains going after we have curled up our tootsies by then. Yep. I will be just this burnt out brain sitting in a saline solution with wires- oh hang on no it's wifi, I will be a brain sitting in a saline filled beaker. But still a burnt out brain- no change. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Let's look ugly

I was just reading this article on how celebrities are going natural-- no photoshopping and stuff. But I like the look of the fake stuff!!! They are butt ugly without it. There has gotta be somewhere for a bloke to fantasize don't there? Ha. just kidding. They need to come down to our level don't they. I live with ugly. We are all ugly really. We are not the perfect flowers in the garden- we -unlike the fruit and veg we choose at the supermarket-- are not blemish free. My advice-- candlelight works well. A tiny bit of photoshop too when putting stuff up on the web. You just gotta take the edge off--- a bit. We don't want to look plastic do we?

Friday, May 7, 2010

The Little Things

I started thinking about my life this morning and I thought " I haven't really achieved much" But then I thought " Well no-one really achieves much when comparing his life to that of the world of celebrity" To exemplify this point: I saw Russell Crowe interviewed by Dave letterman a few nights ago. And he is a master at pretending that he is just an ordinary bloke outside acting in major movies. In fact a lot of these questionably talented stars try to make out that their lives are ordinary outside their job. It's to do with the old saying: it is the little things in life.

Here on this blog I discuss the little things in life. It is my main concern because all of my concerns are little things. I make no bones about it. I am truly a little person. There are those around me however who think that what I say has some meaning and is important. They seem to overlook that I am a little person with little things to say. Sometimes they even get insulted by what I say. How's that for a laugh. Getting insulted by me- the littlest person you could know? If you still don't follow what I am saying here then I will put it this way. I am an under-utilized person with too much time on his hands who sits at a computer typing all kinds of tiny little thoughts that mean nothing to anybody but himself. There.

Now we have cleared that up. It's back to writing about dishes and people's annoying little traits and whatever tiny little thing pops into my tiny little mind at the time. Bored yet?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I get bored

Reading is a real chore for me. A friend gave me his writings to read. I can guess his purpose; I am supposed to read it then give feedback. I start on the chore, and it is a chore. I wade my way through his elaborately constructed phrases which are littered with all his obviously favoured words. I get bored. See how simply I put this? I got bored----quickly. Yawn. It's not at all captivating. I don't wish to read any more of it. It does nothing for me. But he has an expectation. And that would be feedback and of course if I wish to remain his friend the feedback must be positive. But how can I feel positive about something I found to be devoid of interest, totally uninspiring and uninspired?

It is now my dear reader that my heart goes out to you. You suffer my writings. Fortunately you are able to click away from them the instant you find them to be boring. What a blessing! And the silence of all except my own voice here merely shows the lack of bullseyes in my targeting your interest. I am thankful for this however. Why? Because it tells me that I am totally unique. I enjoy being uninspired and alone in my world. I too find all the thoughts of others to be totally uninteresting and become bored so quickly now. Most I read is simply the words of others and they are not really important. Are they? And most of the time in fact all of the time they are just ideas and concepts you have read before over and over simply rehashed. Yes you do get to the stage- heard it all before. It hits you about 50. And what a revelation.

Then the frantic search begins--

The question is:

Where do we go for new input? And what the fuck do we search for?

So many words and so little sense. This is the first sign of my madness. The others will follow shortly in sweet succession.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Are we interested

I stumbled upon this blog. I have had a lot to do with mental illness over the past 30 odd years and this is not my own. It appears that every second person I was involved with and my family members included were demonstrating some kind of diagnosable mental condition. The thing is, I still seem to be interested in mental conditions. You would think I have had enough. But no; I am still sucked into reading about troubled people and the above linked personal diary by a disturbed artist is riveting reading. She has the horrible bipolar thingy. The one that causes highs and lows and sexual promiscuity and all that interesting stuff that is so valuable for an artist to have.

See she is interesting and I am boring. Why? Because I am happy. This absolutely ruins any kind of art career of course. I am destined to plod along with my silly paintings for the rest of my life confident in the fact that no-one is going to take any notice of them ( or me) whatsoever. I'm not troubled enough to be of interest. See we artistic types are supposed to be trainwrecks. We gotta cut off our ears and send them to girls who have rejected our advances and do all that kind of interesting stuff before we become worthy of any kind of attention. Lifes gotta be tragic, difficult, untenable poverty filled and above all depressing before the world should consider taking any interest in our work. Because if like me you are pathetically happy-- well you got nothing to say that is worthwhile have you? See what I mean. Even writing this silly post really has no purpose. where's the angst? It just doesn't challenge you does it? And of course if you are happy you are not very intelligent. If you are bright you can see life is just a crock of shit. if you actually accept everything around you as fine and dandy- then you are too stupid for words.

Look. I could go on and on like this for pages but I think you all get the point. Goodnight from a stupid man who dreams of one day being what the world would consider worthy of being called an artist.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Hot topics

Had the ex over here giving me the lecture on nutrition and health and environmental impacts statements of my life were heaped into the mix and I am just overwhelmed with how wrong I've got my life. It seems I have totally the wrong slant on everything. It also seems I am lucky to be still alive. As I sat there listening to all the errors I was making in my lifestyle I had a thought.( That, after all, is what the overthinking man does.) Women are really into nurture and nature. We blokes are just miles behind in our thinking. We are too busy keeping up with technology and on how to fix things and we forget that there are so many risks around us that can put an end to our lives in an instant. Our nutrition is so bad left to our own resources that we would keel over by age 30.
Now when I talk to  the many women I know I must stay away from those negative opinions I have held. It's not that they are totally self absorbed and they talk about how they are feeling to share with me the various things they know in experiencing their own terrible health problems to help me fix my own state of deterioration. It's not that they are just totally looking at themselves and wanting me to share their horrible pain. They are looking out for me. That's why they keep talking about their problems. They are really trying to give me the information. How wrong I have been?

I don't think I am wrong really. I'm just saying that to have a bit of fun with ya! Ha ha! Keep talking girls. It's fascinating seeing how fascinated you are with yourselves. And I'm not seriously believing this neither. Here's the truth--- it is truly painful hearing these women talk about themselves endlessly. Somehow they must have thought I was seriously asking them how they are when I greeted them with "Hi Such-and-such. How are you?" And then they tell me--- incessantly!!!!!!!! And nature. what about nature? It is cruel. Because they are female and I am male I feel I must listen intently to them because they are female and I am male and if they were male I would tell them to stop being wimps and to shut up about their troubles with their health! And they would still be my mate nevertheless. Coz that's what a bloke does to help his mate feel better.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Come the little children

As any reader here will attest, I am a hard lined thinker. So how is it I have been caught up going to one of these modern church-type things? You know the ones; where a bunch of people gather in, what they call, a congregation and proceed to tap their feet along to the stains of Jesus-is-ace types of songs which are pumped out more like a rock concert than appropriate for the pious place it professes to be. Well my beautiful girlfriend is in to it that's why I go really. It's not my cup-of-tea really but I go and I sorta enjoy it--- sorta---- and probably not in the way expected by those who follow the religion. You see , I love the comedy in it. It is a real life comedy. I have trouble holding a straight face while I'm there.

. You see I grew out of this type of thing; probably as soon as I left that horrible Catholic boys school my parents insisted sending me to. I guess I was over it really a bit earlier like when one of those holy brothers put his hand down the front of my pants. Yeah. And when these blokes weren't doing that fine sorta thing then they were thrashing us with leather straps on cold winter's days. Yep that would do it eh? For me it was the great escape from bullshit and bad men. No more constricted thinking--- the word in my mind was not God it was freedom and it was heralded by the angels and trumpets blowing in my mind- Heaven awaited----out there in the real world- not in the horror filled environment called religion. I was a happy vapour trail I tell ya. But somehow at this later stage of my life now, I have been dragged back into the noisy mire of a congregation. And it has become much more noisy than those solemn masses I attended back in the 50' and 60'. I swear it's more like a rock concert/ talk show early on a Sunday morning than a church. The exception is, the music is really really bad as is the musicianship and the talk show is as banal as you get on any day time TV. And there are some clearly more disturbed individuals their than your humble self which is always a bonus

Having said all that you would think that I would find it all fairly horrible to be amongst. But it isn't. How weird is that? It feels entertaining. It's so cringe worthy but it's like junk food, it's made of bad stuff but tastes good. The bad stuff is the myths it is based on being pushed on the damaged or mentally deficient as historical facts but the good taste is in being with your fellow man and woman in a celebration of something bigger than us- and it tastes good. Yep it's cringe worthy, it's childish it's banal, it's out and out silly and stuff that is said takes itself way too seriously but it still feels good.

I guess this would be because the world is caught on the internet- people are alone in their world away from the congregation. The congregation is all that is left where strangers come together in mass and celebrate something. Who cares what it is? If you don't go to one of these then you are caught going to shopping malls to do the same thing. Now that's just plain weird. They are soul-less.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

More belief stuff

Big bang and man coming from apes and a bloke born of a virgin coupla thousand years ago who walked on water and came back from death. Man we will believe anything won't we?  It doesn't matter if science tells us or religion tells us, there are great untruths in both. All these will be revealed over time. This is now and make no mistake we are still very primitive even if you may think we are advanced.

Now, I'm no expert. But I do think I am rational. The things that people expect me to believe because they believe it does not make them the truth. But if you actually say that to them, well you have to go to battle stations. Or at the very least you can expect a drop in level on their preferred persons to be around list. I still will say it- the things you hold as truth today are abandoned beliefs tomorrow. If you do not accept that this is the case then you are not progressive but stagnant. And stagnant water stinks. Read into it what you will.

Looking good

I just read a news article that gave me a sort of intellectual indigestion. It was about looking good when you are nearly 70. It discussed the issue with none other than the beautiful Raquel Welsch

I don't know why I read it but I did and now I feel like I have eaten one too many fatty things. You see I am an artist. I can't help it I was born this way. I look at everything very carefully- everything! I look for the detail in everything. I love detail. I love beauty too. I love it beyond what a normal person would. I am fixated by it maybe. All this is the background to a very challenging existence. Why? Because beauty, once seen, needs to be captured and held-- that's what an artist does. He attempts to capture a moment of beauty and freeze it in an image. That's all very eloquent isn't it? But lets get onto the point here.
As an artist I see great beauty in the way time effects things. You know the stuff; wind erosion against the rock face at the beach, the old Spanish manor with paint peeling off-- the old an overgrown garden it goes on---. So why then don't people see beauty in the ageing face? Well we know why. Sex. Sex ruins it. It pollutes our attitude to our own ageing process. We are like fruit that goes off not humans. And this is so evident by the way women are treated. If they are no longer that perfect ripe but not over ripe fruit then they are caste aside. They are finished with. And what do I mean by finished with? The media drops them like a hot potato at the first sign of a wrinkle.

The media however, is just a reflection of our human ways. If we wander through a shopping mall do we keep our eyes peeled for grannies or do we go around catching fleeting glimpses of those youthful beauties? Even if we didn't wish to behave like that we still feel the compulsion to do it. So ageing is beautiful in all things excepting the the physical human being.

It's nature; can't change it; but you can complain about it. Especially when like me, you are the other side of 50.

So back to my indigestion.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Electronic masturbation

I'm not talking about porn here. I'm talking about the infatuation with electronic devices such as the iPhone. The finger on the screen thing. Let me state from the start. I hate Apple and all they stand for. Why do I feel this way? I hate the sell that's why. I hate the Apple bullshit. It aims at the masturbators, by this I mean the multitude of narcissistic self-pleasers.
I have a lovely 24" monitor. If anyone sticks their greasy finger on my screen they will die. To me it is a grubby little action by an equally grubby little person. And what do I see? I see idiots all around me putting their greasy fingers on this stupid little phone and almost blowing in their jeans every time they do it. It is the new masturbation I swear. And now they are releasing all these other kinds of devices like iPads and stuff so people can have bigger devices to wipe their greasy little fingers on- just after they have picked their nose. It's sick. The world's sick. And then we are supposed to marvel at the quality of the image through all those greasy little fingerprints caked on those once pristine glass screens. It's like looking through a dirty window.

Here's the reason you will never want one of these devices if you are at all intelligent: It's all in this article

Why are people so stupid? Why do they get sucked in by the new simply because it is new? And to all those young techno trendsetting fanboys;  If they want to use their fingers so much why don't they ever want to do the dishes? You know? Something useful? Something clean!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Copy! Right?- Who would bother?

Copyright is for people who have the money to defend themselves. It is useless for 99% of us creators of web content. The reason I haven't exposed any of my paintings on the internet is that once there they are lost to me. I no longer own them. The carrot in front of the donkey put forward by many is that if you put your creations up on the internet then you are getting exposure. The wise amongst us are seeing straight through this lie. The fact is if you put your stuff up on the internet you are giving it away. I would rather stick my paintings in a real world gallery and have the occasional visitor see them than have a billion thieves get their hands on them . Unscrupulous people, (which we all are really on the on the free-for-all internet) change them ever so slightly- if they can be bothered- and whack them back up under their name. The web is a plagiarist's dream come true. Just look at what's happening in music.

So here's the bottom line to this. The reason I put up this appallingly mundane blog is because I want to join in with the internet revolution. Sure! That will do for an excuse- couldn't be bothered thinking of any others.  But I am only prepared to put up this shit because I know no-one will bother stealing anything to do with it coz it is so damned menial it ain't worth the effort. It is truly a feeble thing I do here. But I enjoy it on a daily basis. The fun part of it is that I know I am writing far too much for people to take in. They only have the patience to read a couple of sentences and they're distracted, bored and off and running to the next website. Nothing important is said here. And nothing important will be said here. Funny though- to me it all makes sense. I like to reread my stuff. I get a kick out of it- it's like a literary narcissism I guess. But reading other people's stuff is a real chore. It's so unimportant to me. I'd rather read my stuff- it's much better and more fun.

When I'm gone people will enter my house and they will find a treasure trove of paintings never before seen by anyone. Huge canvasses with all kinds of brilliant images painted ever so carefully on them. And guess what- no-one who googles me in future will see them. All they will see is this silly little blog. This is my legacy. All because copyright don't work. The internet doesn't bring freedom to the artist- it makes him put a lid on his best work. The world wants everything for free- well they ain't getting my paintings for free. I know- I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face- but then- that's what overthinking does to a person.

If you don't believe me here's the proof about copyright:

Friday, March 19, 2010

The noisy monk

I have my favourite spot in the nearest super shopping mall Knox City. It is the food court- of course. And I don't go there for the peace and quiet. I would be a total idiot if I did. In fact it usually contains the sound level of of low flying jet particularly when school is out. So today I am there happily munching on my big mac, I make sure I have one of these once a week. See I am into healthy food. I had my usual spot at the window which looks out at my beautiful hills. This is how ridiculous I am. I only like to go there for the view. I live in the beautiful hills but I like to drive out of the beautiful hills so that I can look back at the beautiful hills from a distance. Isn't that odd? As I munch on the big mac my eye traces the outline of my beautiful hills as I search for the exact spot where I live so I can imagine what's going on back there in my beautiful hills. See I am odd, you gotta admit. No-one should do this sort of crap, but I do and feel quite compelled to do this on average of once per week.

Any how, enough of the odd behaviour of me, let's get onto the odd behaviour of someone else. This is by far my favourite thing to write about as you may have noticed. I'm sitting there at my usual spot with my music player feeding into my brain nicely when I hear a sound louder than my player. This is odd because I always have the volume up high enough to stop outside noise particularly in the food court where, as I said, it is noisy. So I up the volume a bit and still this loud voice is coming through to my ears. Man that person is talking very loudly I thought. But I couldn't understand a word the man was saying because it sounded Chinese. Odd I thought. I better take a peek and see who is this super loud person. And why is he talking incessantly? So I carefully, so as not to appear too obvious, turn around and ..............
It's a bloke in brown robes. A monk! A Buddhist monk!


I thought these guys were into peace and meditation and in particular- silence. I thought they were all softly spoken minimalists. This guy defied all stereotypical notions of what a Buddhist monk is like. Not only did he talk without drawing breath for the full 20 minutes I was there at full and beyond volume he appeared very agitated with the person next to him. In fact I would have thought him to be angry with what he was saying; like he was dressing the poor woman down for some kind of transgression or something. We have all seen the fiery sermon from the pulpit about us sinners haven't we, but this guy took the prize. It was a fire and brimstone lecture if ever I heard one except it was all in Chinese so I couldn't grasp a word of it.
Still you learn something every day. I will look at Buddhist monks in a totally new light from here on.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Contradictory creatures

When you read this one you can see why I have created the overthinking man can't you? It's not my fault. Really! With this sorta thing goin' on who could blame me?

Some people I know are intriguingly baffling creatures. These people are women in particular-( of course).  Their behaviour contradicts the very words coming out of their mouths. "Oh! I'm not into sex!" she says as she cavorts for hours in front of the mirror. " No I just want to look good that's all" As the breasts are bolstered ever upward in that tiny little top she is wearing until they are on the verge of bursting out all over the place. No. She doesn't want anything to do with sex. No. Just wants to look------good? I think good is far from what is going on in her mind, in fact I think it is more towards bad girl than good girl.

 If one were to make an analogy of this type of behaviour it would be like a cake decorator. The person who decorates cakes but the cakes are to be looked at not eaten by anyone. Then again, this doesn't really capture it. It's more like if we were to reach out a finger and attempt to pick up some tasty icing our hand would be slapped away with utmost indignation. Do not attempt eating that beautiful cake. It is beyond your worthiness you lowly male.

Yep, If we blokes are caught in the off chance taking a peek at those boobies so tantalisingly on show-- well we are immediately told to take our eyes off 'em. We are seen as lecherous low life's. Hungry animals. Because you see, they are simply not there for any other purpose than being there. All male eyes are to be diverted from their region of space. Because you see, their owner is not into sex. You male idiot!

And after all this I hear complaints about how she doesn't like being ogled by every male-- including her doctor- oh shock- of horror!!!. Men are such grubby creatures. Even doctors. Who can you trust not to look at those enticing boobies then?

"We women get so tired of their eyes leering at us. What a shame" she says, "they can't be like me. "

And I can only presume she means "Pure as the driven snow"

What a game! Who is the winner? I would expect it is the one who keeps his eyes well and truly pointed towards the ceiling for just the required amount of time only to pounce when the time is right. Timing is everything in the human mating ritual.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Speaking in tongues

I was at a charitable event the other night run by a Christian mission style of organisation. I like Christians. They are really friendly people in the main and they all appear to have a good attitude to life. I used to be a Catholic when I was a kid. I had no choice in it. I was born into it.

These wonderful people had built toilets for a poor village in Vietnam. It apparently was a mission given to them by God. Man that's really good!  But I'm not going into that. What I am going to comment on is the weird incongruity of the night. The good and the bad of the goody good.

I know these people are doing good things. They are to be admired. And I do. But when they throw their fundraising events the purpose is to get money from us right? Well they got our money all right, but then they want to tell you all about the good work they are doing and then they want to tweak your interest in joining them in their mission from God. Just to remind you- For them- it was bloody toilets. They do this by making you feel guilty for not doing as they are doing and they may do this intentionally or not- the end result is the same. You feel guilty that you haven't been over building dunnies in some foreign country because they have.  It all gets too much. Then further to the night's "fun" we were given the most detailed run through of the project visually and aurally. The only thing that was missing was the sense of smell of the toilets they had built. All this for 2 hours!
So I sat through the whole thing wondering if it was ever going to stop. And the wonderful sweet cakes and lovely yummies sitting on the tables around me didn't look so enticing anymore ( toilet talk and yummies don't really mix) and the whole evening just dragged on. I would have been best just dropping off my money and pissing the hell off.

The lowlight for me was to be left till last however. I'm sitting there after someone had finally stood up and said- enough of the toilet talk- and then some other bright ardent Christian soul says lets pray over it. Oh no!

And away we go. It's people doing all their public displays in words and gestures and intonations etc etc of how you are supposed to talk to God or of how they think God wants to hear from us and of course just behind me is one of those people who go into the full on spectacle--- going all the way to the top of loony---outdoing all others in the room--- she starts talking in tongues. I really despise public display of piety at the best of times. Now this speaking in tongues thing is the creepiest kind . It is cringe worthy to the max. These spooky types of people suddenly start talking gibberish----non-stop. I hate it. But apparently God loves it- don't know why. It is such an embarrassment to be near it. It reeks of pretentious bullshit. On the same level of someone who can't hold their liquor- they can't hold their God. The kids in the audience look at these grown people making absolute fools of themselves in a sort of questioning amazement. Kids are more honest and real than some adults. If this sort of behaviour comes from God how come I feel so sickened by it? So what it boiled down to: A good night ruined by someone who in my opinion used foul language in front of me---- and the kids.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Resisting an opinion

What's the most difficult thing a man can do? The answer is resistance to having an opinion. Just look at the mess I have created here; post after post of my opinion. All of it is worthless. Individually that is. But, when it is collectively assessed, opinion is the fabric of all society.In fact, dare I say, it is society. Society is a collective of opinion.

What exactly is opinion?

This from


[uh-pin-yuhn] Show IPA
a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.
a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.
the formal expression of a professional judgment: to ask for a second medical opinion.
Law. the formal statement by a judge or court of the reasoning and the principles of law used in reaching a decision of a case.
a judgment or estimate of a person or thing with respect to character, merit, etc.: to forfeit someone's good opinion.
a favorable estimate; esteem: I haven't much of an opinion of him.

But bloody hell-------- don't we fight for our opinions though? We go into battle over them----literally. 

And we read other people's opinions here on the internet and in the media. We hang on every word when some mouthy person utters their opinion. Particularly those ones who we think, in our opinion, are worth listening to or we are told are worth listening to by someone else in their opinion.
But the bottom line is-

- here it comes-- 

opinions are just theories.

They are not to be seen as facts or truths.  They are ad hoc. Here one moment to answer a particular situation then gone at the next situation. We all live with opinion though. Rather than truth and fact we all live with opinion. This is because none of us have the time to assess anything long enough to place it in the truth or fact category and we are constantly bombarded by the opinions of others.

So that's it people. My opinion about opinion. I sprout it here every day. No-one reads it. But I still sprout it. It gets it off my chest and maybe onto someone else's. Or, maybe not. I care not.

All I know is those who know me know me for my opinions. I am famous for them. But they ain't worth shit. So those people who know me for my opinions only know the worthless side of me. This is the one that does the damage. This is the one that hurts people. This is the opinion. It is a damaging and false truth and must be seen for what it is if we are to survive all this living business in any kind of peaceful way.
Well there it is. I'm right in my opinion in this. Aren't I?
God we are just hot air. It's all meaningless. So am I.
Now back to the dishes..................................

Monday, March 8, 2010

End of money

Is it possible? The end of that which is so much part of our reality. In fact it is reality. Created by man for man. But like anything created by us it is temporary. It may not seem to be so vulnerable. After all how else can we trade for the things we need? But if we look at the state of the world economies we really can see it all falling apart one day. Of course those in power would never admit to this. It is impossible to imagine after all. But the thing is- I can imagine it. Then what are we all gonna do?

Wash dishes I would guess. then stop washing dishes because they will never get dirty because we can't buy food to get them so. Oh happy days. Starving to death is the best way to not do dishes. Do you see? Every cloud does have a silver lining.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

On cosmetic surgery

As I grow older I am presented with an unavoidable truth- we start becoming less beautiful and dare I say downright ugly. The urge to look in mirrors is replaced with the urge to avoid mirrors at all cost. Oh cruel world!

Some people can't tolerate this truth so they try to change their appearance to match their preconceived idea of how they looked when they were not decayed and ravaged by time. Enter the world of injections and the knives. Oh joy!So we now have a choice. This is how it is marketed to us at least. We have a choice in how we look. Our choice- Meddle or don't meddle. I guess it all depends on whether we want to be having sex or not having sex. On whether we are prepared to not turn people on any more coz we looks so horrible.

Well sex ain't everything. We gotta pay too much to keep at it if knives and injections and surgeon's fees are involved. It would be far cheaper and less painful to just go the house- of- ill- repute if this is the reason for meddling with our appearance. Furthermore, you are in big trouble though if you simply can't live with yourself if you continue to look the way you do. Jumping off a cliff is a far better option if this is the case because if you're that useless in caring about yourself then your life appears to be already over. If it comes to all this then becoming a monk sounds far more appealing. No-one's worth getting injected with poison for. And as to getting slashed up in order to make a better man of me------ forget it!!!!

So get over the looks issues and grow a hobby other than sex and you will be totally ok for the rest of your long life.

Saturday, March 6, 2010


I was just sweeping the floor. Interesting eh?

When I am doing such interesting things I always get my most profound thoughts. I'm sweeping away, in a world of my own and suddenly I got it. Nothing is ever truly finished. This follows on from my post the other day. Many times I have thought that I will never finish this project or that. They never seem to finish. There is always some loose end. Something that requires a little bit more effort. An effort that seems to be impossible to get time to put in. Everything is left off because something else comes along that requires my immediate attention.

If any of us looked fairly and squarely at our lives we would see all those unfinished jobs we have done. Every one of them has something left to do on it.

Then when I look at the big world out there what do I see? Unfinished jobs. It's a necessary part of life to have unfinished jobs. It goes along with the fact that everything is in a constant state of change. The only true finish we have is when we die. We leave behind us a legacy of unfinished things which add to the chaos that is here around us now. We live in a world surrounded by the unfinished work of others. It's like with the release of new products like say computers. Some say they are evolving the whole time but I say they are unfinished projects. And they will never be finished. Goodness that's what the commercial world requires in order to survive. We must be enticed by bigger and better all the time in order to spend unnecessary money. If something was truly finished, like say a computer, then we would never need to purchase another one ever again. Ever!

Now I don't feel so bad about all thos unfinished paintings, and graphic I have sitting on my hard drive. I have stuff there dating back to my very first computer in 1990. And guess what? All of it is unfinished work or as I have been affectionately calling it-- nostalgic works in progress.

That's it!. I'm putting it all together into a book. And I'm calling it my book of unfinished work. I will leave the finishing off to the readers imagination. What a great idea! People will buy it just so they can see that everyone suffers the same unfinished symphony of life. And when I do release this book it will never be finished because I can then do another one, which will be unfinished of course so then I can do another one and another and so on--- just like the movie makers do. Ha! That's how they do it. Well I have taught myself something today. But I'm not finished.

Friday, March 5, 2010

People who know me in the analog world

Stop worrying about my posts here and what they mean. Stop thinking that you can read how I am going out there in the world judged by what I write here. Just read my stuff- if you want to and treat it as a fiction written by someone who you don't know. You all keep trying to associate it with you, with me, with me and you. it's nothing to do with anything its a bit of writing which I enjoy doing. That's all. Stop taking on board everything that happens in life and storing it in the me me me folder of your mind. it's overloaded and getting moreso every moment of every day. This is my entertainment- it could be yours too-- if you disassociate from it. I know it's hard to do when you know the person who writes the things you read. I suppose it would be a problem experienced by all writers. The characters in their books would also always draw associations from their personal friends. You know how it goes? "Oh that character--- you were writing about me when you wrote that weren't you?" No. You are not the centre of my universe or everyone's or anyone's other than your own universe for that matter. Sorta bursts ya bubble don't it?

Thursday, March 4, 2010

What's with the use of the word "like"?

I hear it all the time now--- It's like I said in like; ( notice the use of semi colon; good eh?) the past, the use of like is on the increase. I like; wonder if like; people have caught some like; disease man? They put like in whenever and like; wherever they can. It's replacing the good old umm or you know. It pisses me off because I know that people do this to pad out what they are like; saying. Idiots!. I don't need to pad out my posts with like; like. I can pad it out using all kinds of like; different words. Like just sounds like; pretentious and like; teenage and like; simplistic and like; so like; annoying....................................... Yeah- I'm sweating the small stuff but when you hear it so often it's no longer small is it?
 It goes along with the tongue out photos that the mindless moronic teenage sheep do in every fucking shot- Oh let's like; do something really different- let's like; poke out our tongue- yeah that would be so like; cool. Teenagers are morons I tell ya!!!!! And it's a youth obsessed world. Why are we so like; obsessed with morons?

Jealous of the big boys

I must admit. I experience quite some jealousy of the big boys who have all the toys. and who do I mean by this- I mean George Lucas, Stephen Spielberg, James Cameron and Tim Burton. Not only am I jealous of their toys I am also very disappointed in the games they play with their toys. Guys like me don't have those proper toys to do the things they can do and we don't get the opportunity to acquire them. They have all the fun and we can only do pale things by comparison. But even though I am stuck with just my humble paint brushes and pencils by comparison, I reckon I do a far more original job than any of them do. Let's face it- they make great eye candy in their productions but at the same time they say very little that is new.

I reckon for the good of art and for sharing these blokes ought to just give some new blokes a go with their toys. It's the only way some genuine new ideas can be generated. Eye candy is great of course, but we really do expect more from the movies we see. And these guys are hogging the scene with their old and overdone ideas. They were good once- but they need to say- well we had our turn- now you new guys have a go.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Such a waste of time

For some unknown reason I watched a really pathetic movie last night. it goes by the title- and I should have avoided it by this alone-- He's just not that into you. It's like chocolate though- it's bad for you but it tastes so good whilst you are eating it.

If an intelligent woman was supposed to be portrayed in this movie then I simply didn't pick up on it. If this is the usual preoccupation of women- you know getting and holding a man-- then the end of humans is inevitable. As a species, we are simply too stupid to survive much more of this thing called existence. All the really important and big issues go unnoticed by 50% of the population because they are too busy thinking about the other 50%. And men make such a mess of things if left to their own resources- well, you can see where I am going with this??

The whole experience left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I think I would have felt better about myself if I had watched porn rather than this absolutely crappy piece of nonesense. And all those big name actors-- God they will do anything for money-- may as well be porn. That's it- it was an example of airhead porn. Oh I feel better now-- I was just studying a movie genre. I wasn't watching just because I wanted to watch it. It was for serious study purposes.

Isaac Newton lost his cred

I have been sucked in to watching a lame series of documentaries of Foxtel called the Nostradamus Effect. It's all about the end of the world prophesies. ( And you reckon my humour is dark?) It's a laugh. It is so strung together. It's all wild leaps from statement to false conclusions. How these people interpret the rants of these historical dudes to get the prophesies they do I will never know.


If in fact Newton did involve himself in prophesying, for me, he has lost all credibility. I don't care that he has been right in everything else he has involved himself in and that he is the father of calculus and such accurate and truthful pursuits-- if he involved himself in all that hocus pocus--- he is a loony.

What a shame. Next they will be saying that Einstein did a bit of the ol' propheting in his spare time.

Oh. The date for the end of the world is 2060 according to Newton. Put that one on ya calendar.

What about survival

The copyright laws are dead. This internet saw to that. And everyone is downloading everything for free as much as they can. Focus has been on music. But as an artist I am wondering how we are going to get a fair go? I mean, it was hard enough to survive in the arts before the internet but now it is impossible really.

You see it's fairly simple; it's a matter of extremes---the air is free---- it is a necessity--- so too is anything unnecessary---- art is unnecessary. I know it's necessary for the soul of a healthy society and all that crap, but in truth, art is unnecessary.

Ah well. I may go to my alternative career--- dishwashing--- and keep my art to myself.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Literary Character

I still get people thinking I actually am the type of person reflected by my writings here. I have said it before - I will state it again. My character here is a fiction. It is not me. It is a construction based on my day to day experiences. But it is not me. People can't seem to grasp that. They think the words I write here are dark and that I am that total arsehole. Well wake up people! If I really acted in real life in the way reflected in what I write here, I would have jumped off a cliff years ago- no-one would want to know me.

Here's another example of how  bleeding hearts expect everyone to have wonderful and pure thoughts. Or that everyone should aim for that way of thinking. Well they are naive. No-one has 100% pure and positive thoughts the same as they never have 100% negative and impure thoughts. We hide and cover up all our bad thoughts to everyone around us because we would be seen as total arseholes of course. But it does not mean that these thoughts do not exist within. They do. And I let them out here and it's harmless. Overthinking , the blog, is about letting out my "dark passenger".

If you take offence then I say-- if the shoe fits wear it!!!!--poor little bleeding heart that you are. There ain't no pussy footing around here. But it's not real- it's a rant-- like the poor comedian I must explain my joke-- how distasteful is that?

In real life it is more of a balance between positive and negative however. But it's like the news. Nobody would read the news if it was all positive. It must be weighed towards the negative or nobody would be interested in reading it. I apply the same principle here. If you want to have a dark and broody type of experience then here is your feed. If you want light and fluffy go elsewhere. You are precious and you don't belong here.

Consider this blog as a pressure valve. It lets it out -- for me-- and maybe for you, the reader, also. We feel alone in our negative thoughts don't we? It feels comforting to know there is someone out there who shares our dark thoughts- the ones we don't want to have, but do have, from time to time. Our road doesn't feel so lonely. Someone gets it. I used to drink gallons of alcohol to do the same thing. Then all the bullshit came out I tell ya. I don't drink a drop now. Oh! Hang on! That's it--- some people I know prefer me to be that total soak again than to be the wordy arsehole I am here. They say: " you were so much fun and lay back when you drank". This as they suck up all the booze they can get their lips around of course--- Well stuff you! I'm saving a fortune and my health is much better- both mentally and physically. Sober and nasty is a far better choice than pissed and stupid.

You can rely on a good read about negative stuff here all the time. If it's there- I let it out. And it may very well concern you- or it may appear that way at least. That's because all this is based on observation of myself and others. And underneath we are all pretty similar. And most of the time we are too busy avoiding saying the stuff I write here in an attempt not so much to be good and sensitive to others but to avoid trouble for ourselves. That's what it's all about. The answer to anyone who finds my posts upsetting is--- don't visit my blog. Piss off!

Now on with the show------------------- my show!!!!

All in all, I, the "Overthinking Man", am a literary character. Understand yet? God people are so thick!

Abandoned projects

I am an overthinking man. I can't help it. I don't just think  like normal people- I overthink and as a result nothing really gets finished. I talk of dishes a lot because I understand that at least I have an excuse with dishwashing in that the stream of dirty dishes never stops. Thus I don't feel guilty by never finishing the task.

i jump now to a real life example of another kind of overthinking species. The Orb Spinning Spider. I have watched them for hours in their web building projects. They are so delicate and they never seem to be satisfied with the end result. They are always fixing this and cleaning that. They live their lives exactly as i do. They are my animal spirit guide for sure. I think like an Orb Spinning Spider. They are much more resilient than me however. They persevere. They see a project through to the end so that they can catch their reward which in their case is their food. I don't. I rarely see things through to get my reward. And the reason I never do this is because I lose sight of the reward at some stage of every project. I get bored with it and just stop doing it.

Unfortunately I have taken this style of behaviour to my relationships with some people. I work diligently to keep them happy and I do everything I can to get them to be my best friend. I put up with all kinds of shit. A lot of it goes against the grain too. But I keep my eye on the reward which is that they will be my friend and keep me special in their lives.

But like the spider, sometimes the web becomes just too difficult to maintain with some people. I keep patching this area and fixing that broken thread all in a pathetic attempt to keep the web of our relationship intact. Then I lose sight of the reward in the project. And it is abandoned. With some projects I have been compelled to just walk away. And I never look back. I do feel deep disappointment though. The answer is do not embark on friendships that are projects. I have too many of them in my life and I am abandoning them one at a time. They go in the form of totally fucked up women. All Blondes!!! How is that for coincidence?

There. Is that obvious enough? Now I can move on with the more important aspects of life. The ones that are in fact rewarding. The ones that have a possibility of completion. Fucked up people can never be fixed. They like being fucked up. It's part of their character.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

For most it's just dishes

I think about lots of things. How's that for a bright statement?

Here's one thought I just had:

We personally think we are destined for something better than the average normal person. Or, rather, we think we deserve something better. Now that's our default setting. But what is the reality for 99.99% of us? A routine and regime of domestic chores followed by a routine and tyranny of working for money. That's it. Then it's sleep and back to it each and every day. We want out. There are those who will deny this. But deep down they would prefer to spend their time doing other than what they are currently doing. And that would be--- domestic chores.

Just look at how we start in life. We go to school and socialize. That's the sum total of our days. Domestic chores are left to the parents. To the teenager- dishwashing does not exist and if it does then it is so under sufferance.  It is only when we get our own place with our own responsibilities that the domestic chores thing takes over . And it is quite novel for a while--- until the rot sets in.

Anyway I'm not telling anyone anything new in this--- I'm just bitchin'---just because I want to. And I hope it doesn't upset your day. How can it? You have dishes to do.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Back on track

Getting older every day. Getting wiser too. That's the only good thing about it. I'm still kicking myself over wasted time. That's inevitable. I said getting wise but not wise. I just wasn't wise enough over my years to recognize when I was wasting my time or others were wasting it for me. If you can't do that then time is wasted in a very big way.

But I'm back on track. I going to stop bitching about things in my life and go ahead and do things but not bitch----- anymore. Oh fuck!!!! I was just biting down on some lovely crunchy toast and my top denture broke in half. Oh fuck!!!!! Forget it. I gonna keep bitchin'. This really pisses me off. And so does just about everything else for that matter. Ok. Being pissed off is normal. It's our default setting-----obviously. I'm not wise. I should've known that. I thought placid and quiet and happy and content and and and all that was our default but Oh No!!!!! Bitchin' is good. I'm gonna really get stuck into it now.

I will have to chew on one side till the dentist can fit me in and then wait for a month whilst they make a new set of teeth for me. I hate getting old. Lose all the stuff we want and grow all the stuff we don't want. At least I had my trusty Dremel to shape the broken bit of the denture into some kind of thing that won't cut the shit outta my tongue. I'm just gonna go sit in a darkened room for the rest of the day now--- life sucks-----sometimes.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Having no meaning

I'm going through a stage in my life where everything seems to be fake.( Everything except dishes of course). It's as if the words that come from my mouth have no truth to them after I have said them. I feel good with my thoughts when I am alone but when I talk with people they seem pointless, unnecessary and meaningless. Maybe I am experiencing opinion burn out? Everything has a feeling I have said it all before. I mean just look at the things we do for entertainment- haven't we seen it all before? Life is just like doing dishes. The old saying same bullshit different day expresses this little thought perfectly.

I just had a thought. Maybe I have been responding to the many silly little questions ( the ones that go "what did he mean"- "what did she mean" then "your so mean" type of conversations) posed by self absorbed morons for too long. Yep. Burn out-- that's it. I've spent so long dumb'ing down that I have dumb'ed down. The stupid questions have finally worn me down. One can only go round and round the same stupid questions from stupid people for so long only to end up collapsing into a state of absolute exhaustion. Burn out- yep that's what I've got. My fuse has finally set off an explosion of revulsion for stupid people who need answers to their neurotic and stupid questions about how they should feel about this person's statements or that person's looks and do I like,,, look good in this and all that useless crap. Gossipy crap-- I have played with gossip and it has come back to bite me--that's it. Everything we say is just gossip when we talk to stupid people.

Oh. I'm really on about stupid people in recent posts. Maybe I've just had enough of dealing with them--??? Gotta get some meaning back into these posts. When I first started I had heaps of interesting things to say. But my humour took a turn for the worse--this results from dealing with people who don't have a sense of humour about themselves. I have kicked one or two too many mines in being involved with one in particular and the damage is showing eh?

The thing that makes me feel really stupid  though is that I put up with it for so long. I was sucked in. These people are good at making one feel important.  Superior even. But in the end they bring you down. One's own superiority brings one down. Because you realize you ain't superior you are simply as stupid as the next person.  If you are a man you are vulnerable to that pretty face aren't you?---- Oh she is so pretty- she must be a great person and very intelligent too.------ No!!! It does not follow. And I have been so stupid that I have gone with that. That's it-- the reason my words seem so meaningless now----- is------because---- THEY BLOODY WELL ARE MEANINGLESS!!!! I'm stupid. Your stupid-- Everyone's stupid!!! Really.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Talking with the intellectually challenged

I know some people who just don't have the capacity for higher thoughts. yeah. I know. I'm a snob and all that. Yeah I know. This is not a politically correct thing to say in a modern, wimpy world. But I will burst the bubble here and say: Not everyone we know in our lives are bright. It does not mean that we can't love these rather stupid people. Many of them have wonderful characters and honest hearts. And imagine for a moment all those other wonderful motherhood statements I could make to help cover up the fact that I am about to bitch about stupid people.

Now in the middle of the night last night I woke up and thought this: Imagine if you were a comedian. You know-- you make your living as a person who tells jokes? Now imagine if you told your jokes and then had to explain each joke so that the person you were telling the jokes to could get it. How would you feel? Would you feel that the encounter was fun?--- enjoyable???. No!!! It would be a pain in the arse. And this is what it is like talking to less than bright people.

The result in conversations with people who are not too bright is that they go away feeling happy with a belief good conversation was had by all. But the poor soul who has had to endure spoon feeding them through the whole ordeal has endured a form of frustration only known to the comedian who has to explain his jokes before people get them.

Isn't that an interesting observation? Oh. I wonder if I am deluded myself in thinking I am bright. Apparently most men overestimate their intelligence. So I'm probably as stupid as the next man.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Keep 'em at a distance

Have you ever noticed that the closer you get to some people the more chaotic they get? It's like in physics. If you look out at the stars of a night everything looks so calm and peaceful. The night sky is so tranquil. But we know from physicists as we close in on the smallest of particles of matter on the quantum level, everything is observed to be chaotic. This is how some people truly are.

We can be friendly to anyone at a distance. We can be polite and warm to virtual strangers and both parties walk away from such light and fluffy interactions feeling nothing but good will towards the other. And then we have those nice people we bump into at social events. We don't know them at all really but we can engage in a friendly conversation or chit chat as we know it and feel really good afterwards.  Oh- such- a- nice- person- thing--- you know?

Then we come to the up close and personal types of friends we have. The ones we have nurtured over a long period of time and whom we really know and who also know us. we start off with these people on that warm and fuzzy feeling of growing friendship. We are polite and very nice to each other. Each of us can seem to be the perfect- do-no-wrong type of person. The sun shines out of us. Ahhh1 Wonderful!!!

But then somehow we get to know each other better and then things begin to fall into chaos. Now we run the risk of it all going to Hell. And many times it does do just that. People begin to notice the flaws rather than the initial good points in a person's character.

Well where am I going with this?  Maybe I could conclude that it is best to keep everyone at a distance. So why do we agree to get so close to people. In fact why do we yearn for it? We certainly are a difficult species to understand. The closer we get to each other the worse we are to each other. Stupid result eh?

When a friendship does go sour there are two things we can do. We can abandon it entirely-- as in divorce. Problem not solved just diverted. Or we can go back to the very beginning and start again. But usually the road goes to the same destination because once you observe a flaw in something it always remains noticeable.

When it's over----it's over-----

As in the words of Omar Khayyam:

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
  Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
  Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Inspirational personalities

I have been given many a dressing down by a troubled woman who has been subject of a few of my posts here at overthinking. I must admit some of them have been less than charitable. I like to let out a fair bit here. You know- let go the reigns on good manners and gentility. In fact I like to be a grumpy old bastard from time to time. I like to actually lose my social conscience here- after all, in a polite society here is the only place this can happen. Who want's to be nice- nice-nice all the time? How boring do you find people who are like that.

No-one knows the identity of my subject. But she does and wow does it get me into trouble. I can understand this reaction from her completely. But to put a better spin on it all I would say this to her.

An artist is reliant on his subjects for inspiration. Writers need colourful characters in their lives in order to draw upon them for the various personalities in their book. Perhaps this woman should consider herself as part of my artistic inspiration. So instead of getting totally worked up and pissed off as she does after reading my posts about her she should see herself as a unique and interesting person who has inspired a writer to respond to her personality. And if it is not favourable well it doesn't matter. She should be like the movie stars. Their belief is even bad exposure is good publicity because it makes them larger than life and more interesting as a result. Also, she may consider (if she stopped reacting angrily all the time- something I doubt can happen) she is being given a window into how she comes across to another person. And isn't this a gift. People pay to visit shrinks for this purpose and she gets it here for free.

But I know she is so self defensive she will never agree to this. And the next time we have an argument she will whinge and complain about my nasty posts here. She is a true warrior. She will defend her character to her last dying breath. Poor soul. She hasn't learned the art of giving up on oneself yet. Funny though. We can see her as holding herself as totally precious or totally useless. Both apply equally. I wonder what she really thinks deep down inside. What is her inner voice saying to her all the time? Is it-- I am precious, I am good or is it I am useless, I am bad?

There is no answer to these questions. And the only solution is to stop thinking any kind of thought towards oneself and to think about others for a change. This works for me and this is why I write about her --- not me. But in the end I am writing about me. See how there is no cut and dry answer to anything. No wonder we are all a mess here on planet Earth. No answers- just more questions. Give up!!

Living as an artist.

Work. We all must work. Some get paid for it. Some don't. I do a lot of work. But I don't get paid for it. Now this may seem stupid. But the kind of work I do no-one pays for. This is because the work that I do has no value. When I say value I mean dollar only. In fact the work I do is priceless. But it is priceless because only I see the merit in it.

society sees me as a nothing. It sees me as one of those slackers who lives on a pension and just has fun all the time. I do not provide food and I do not deal with waste. These are the necessities of life. I do nothing that provides any kind of necessary production because Art is not necessary in the eyes of the wage earning public.

It's like house keeping mothers at home with their kids. Society sees them as non- workers so they are not paid yet they are excellent consumers because they have mouths to feed and needs to fill. But no-one pays them because it was their decision to go ahead and breed. It is not a paid career path. Sure they get government handouts but these would never go near the cost of the job they perform. Artists are below this even. Society sees them as people who are just preoccupied with their own importance and people who just want to play their life away doing trivial and unimportant things. Goodness that was all over after kindergarten. It's kid's stuff.

Funnily enough though I have survived and so do millions of other mothers and artists. Somehow we get through and live a very good life. I know I have.

And what this all comes down to is the fact that we agree to do the dishes every day of our lives. Plus we do everything for ourselves. We don't hire people to do these things for us. We don't pay people who are seen to have a meaningful career to come and do  the meaning ful things in our homes. We do them ourselves. So we do meaningful things because society refuses to accept to pay for the meaning less stuff we do we do the meaningful stuff for ourselves . So you see artists do do meaningful things they don't just dont get paid for it. They do the dishes themselves and all the other meaningful things.

We simply decide this: Pay someone to do the things we need to do whilst we go and do the things someone else needs us to do or do those things ourselves and also do what we need to do ourselves. But all this does not put money in the bank. We know we can't survive without money because we cant provide everything wee need in our lives like food. If we truly wanted to do everything for ourselves then we wouldn't have enough time to do what we need to do. So again we rely on some other person to see that what we do has value and meaning and will part with their money to prove that.

See it's all very simple. Though from the way I have described the whole thing here it seems not. That's because I am confused and that's really the reason I am an artist. I am totally confused and don't understand the importance of doing something other than art if I want to survive. All I can say is I am lucky enough to have a totally screwed back which renders me incapable of digging ditches and brick laying and such. You see this proves that there is a God and He is merciful. How's that for logic?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Hand me that put down right now

I'm going to have some fun with this post I tell ya.

When I was young ( and before you think it--" old line from an old bloke"-- I know I know-- but wait) When I was young only a few years back, I thought I was king of the castle. Sure I had the usual insecurities but I had some solid high scores up on the board in the game of mating. Since my teenage days I had scored some mighty attractive women. On a scale of 10 most were well up in the high 8.5's. No fatties, no plain janes-- you know-- some fairly fab specimens amongst the female of the species. Most of my life I put this type of success down to luck mainly. I believed I was no hunk of the type women would cream themselves over. But I also believed I must have had something going for me or these pretty women would not have looked sideways at me. Anyway - you get the picture--- moving on--

And so it was that I fell into a sort of happy haze of security and confidence in my long marriage of 24 years. The attractive wife would never stray thought I, because I was confident in my merits- though as I said I didn't really know what they were. All would be good. And to compliment this illusion I had somehow managed to collect a quasi harem. I had three, count them, three extremely attractive blondes, yes blondes, as my closest mates ranging in age from mid 20's to mid- 40's. I remember sitting in a spa with my harem of 4 blondes ( my wife was blonde too) thinking who needs to be Hugh Hefner- I've got it all-- and I don't even have any money. They all love me for being just me. Surely you can see how a man would feel pretty damned confident in himself- couldn't ya?

Lets just cut to the near present- some 3 years ago. There used to be this little odd character who visited our place. I could always tell when he came in the front door because his smell arrived before he did. I mean it-- he was truly on the nose. He was an Israeli guy who spoke a sort of English---sort of. He had a really big nose and very deep set black eyes. Looked a bit like the biblical Satan if you can imagine. He had male pattern baldness but had held onto his long hair. So you see it-- a bald dome poking out of salt and pepper thin long hair- smelly unwashed long hair-- all this topped off with a woolly beard that could have had anything living in it alongside him except they probably had multiple legs and antenna. The way he acted though- he could have had these things -- he was sorta like a guru E.T. type. Think Rasputin the mad monk maybe?. He dressed in the gaudiest old clothes, bordering on rags and sometimes wore ladies woollens, sweaty old baseball hats with Makita emblazoned on them-- must have got them off the brotherhood bin or something. All in all- his physical appearance was not too good- I think you can gather that. And the cheese had certainly slipped off his cracker in the head stakes - he followed some nutty women who channelled a 35000 year old warrior- yep he was a trainwreck-- I reckon--- don't you?

Anyways-- he is the man who relieved me of my pretty little blonde wife of 24 years. Of all the men who visited this place- she chose him over me.

Yep. It's always the one you least expect.


Come to the present day:

I'm off blondes. My beautiful girlfriend of today is a raven haired beauty. I still have a few of the stragglers ( blondes) hanging around--- sort of-- dunno why but can't be too cosmetic here can I? They will drop off over time. One did shortly after the break up- she was the one who said if my wife left me she would always be there for me-- Ha Ha. Another one is on the way out as we are seeing less eye to eye as time goes on. In fact talking with her is becoming like a dance in a minefield- she is a real pain I tell ya. And the remaining one is a busy cougar. She gets those cubs too probably because she looks pretty good ( in the dim light of clubs that is).

But just where am I going with this expose?

Well I was thinking today. I was handed the biggest put down a person can get. You can't imagine worse. Dumped and dumped for a troll. I survived-- ego intact. How? That is a whole other story. Then I thought about those people I know who spend their whole time protecting themselves from such a put down. There are many of them. They go to all extreme measures to protect themselves. Their fragile egos are constantly in need of a boost and I am usually the one delivering it. They are so precious you see. They are so beautiful-- aren't they? They are so sensitive. they are so depressed. Don't hurt them they simply can't take it. They whinge and whine and constantly fish for compliments and support. Life is too hard for them. More so for them than for anyone else they keep telling me. They are really struggling just to cope. They are really really on the edge- so don't push them----- And never--- never ever---never never never NEVER--- hand them a put down--- they just can't take it.

Bloody wimps!

A good put down is the very thing they need. It would get them over their fear. They need to face it. I have never felt clearer or better since I had my grand put down.

But you can talk to these bleating bleeding hearts till the cows come home--- they will still spend their whole time in self preservation mode. Wimps!!!! Bloody self absorbed wimps!!! God help them when they are old and ugly-- I won't.