Saturday, January 23, 2010

No fish

Fishing is something that really works overthinking man hard. I hadn't been fishing for many years so when an opportunity arrived -off I went for a four days of fish catching. But before that there was the obligatory study up for best results routine. I went through it all. carefu;lly choosing the best rig the best bait the best everything for the types of  fish that supposedly inhabited the water where I was going.

four days--- no fish. Not a nibble.

Is it me or did I miss something. It can't be that difficult. Fish are stupid right? No fish.

When we arrived at this place, a place that only exists because there are fish I noted that there were heaps of fishing related businesses. You know, bait shops boat shops boat hire shops tackle shops -everything to do with fishing was there. Yep I thought- definitely a fishing place- sure to be fish here. Great.

I was keen. I was eager. So off fishing. But after four days and not one nibble I came to a conclusion. No fish. There are no fish in this area. It's all a set up. Lots of water, lots of everything that would make one think that there are fish. But there is no fish.

I said to a couple of locals that I thought there was no fish here. They stared back at me in a sort of distance chasing way and repeated " No fish?" it's like they knew there were no fish and didn't want to be caught out letting on that there was no fish or it was the first time someone had dared to say it. No fish.

The whole place relied on fishing yet I did notice street after street of empty holiday homes. People had stopped coming down because I know and they know that there is no fish. Boats everywhere, houses everywhere, everything in place for fishing. but there are no fish.


Anyway the new rod and reel goes back in the shed. All the perfect tackle too. It can stay there gathering dust. Fishing is a total waste of time. Those idiots who spend zillions on their gear, read all their fishing books drooling over fish catching porn, buying million dollar boats and holiday houses to match. They are all wasting their time and money. There is no fish. Get over it.

I won't complain about the price of fish at the market anymore. Fish are a rare thing. Just about anywhere you or I try our luck we will mainly end up wet arse and no fish.

I'm a good time waster as you may have noticed- but I'm not as good as fishing would require me to be.

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