Monday, February 22, 2010

Inspirational personalities

I have been given many a dressing down by a troubled woman who has been subject of a few of my posts here at overthinking. I must admit some of them have been less than charitable. I like to let out a fair bit here. You know- let go the reigns on good manners and gentility. In fact I like to be a grumpy old bastard from time to time. I like to actually lose my social conscience here- after all, in a polite society here is the only place this can happen. Who want's to be nice- nice-nice all the time? How boring do you find people who are like that.

No-one knows the identity of my subject. But she does and wow does it get me into trouble. I can understand this reaction from her completely. But to put a better spin on it all I would say this to her.

An artist is reliant on his subjects for inspiration. Writers need colourful characters in their lives in order to draw upon them for the various personalities in their book. Perhaps this woman should consider herself as part of my artistic inspiration. So instead of getting totally worked up and pissed off as she does after reading my posts about her she should see herself as a unique and interesting person who has inspired a writer to respond to her personality. And if it is not favourable well it doesn't matter. She should be like the movie stars. Their belief is even bad exposure is good publicity because it makes them larger than life and more interesting as a result. Also, she may consider (if she stopped reacting angrily all the time- something I doubt can happen) she is being given a window into how she comes across to another person. And isn't this a gift. People pay to visit shrinks for this purpose and she gets it here for free.

But I know she is so self defensive she will never agree to this. And the next time we have an argument she will whinge and complain about my nasty posts here. She is a true warrior. She will defend her character to her last dying breath. Poor soul. She hasn't learned the art of giving up on oneself yet. Funny though. We can see her as holding herself as totally precious or totally useless. Both apply equally. I wonder what she really thinks deep down inside. What is her inner voice saying to her all the time? Is it-- I am precious, I am good or is it I am useless, I am bad?

There is no answer to these questions. And the only solution is to stop thinking any kind of thought towards oneself and to think about others for a change. This works for me and this is why I write about her --- not me. But in the end I am writing about me. See how there is no cut and dry answer to anything. No wonder we are all a mess here on planet Earth. No answers- just more questions. Give up!!

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