Sunday, March 21, 2010

Electronic masturbation

I'm not talking about porn here. I'm talking about the infatuation with electronic devices such as the iPhone. The finger on the screen thing. Let me state from the start. I hate Apple and all they stand for. Why do I feel this way? I hate the sell that's why. I hate the Apple bullshit. It aims at the masturbators, by this I mean the multitude of narcissistic self-pleasers.
I have a lovely 24" monitor. If anyone sticks their greasy finger on my screen they will die. To me it is a grubby little action by an equally grubby little person. And what do I see? I see idiots all around me putting their greasy fingers on this stupid little phone and almost blowing in their jeans every time they do it. It is the new masturbation I swear. And now they are releasing all these other kinds of devices like iPads and stuff so people can have bigger devices to wipe their greasy little fingers on- just after they have picked their nose. It's sick. The world's sick. And then we are supposed to marvel at the quality of the image through all those greasy little fingerprints caked on those once pristine glass screens. It's like looking through a dirty window.

Here's the reason you will never want one of these devices if you are at all intelligent: It's all in this article

Why are people so stupid? Why do they get sucked in by the new simply because it is new? And to all those young techno trendsetting fanboys;  If they want to use their fingers so much why don't they ever want to do the dishes? You know? Something useful? Something clean!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Copy! Right?- Who would bother?

Copyright is for people who have the money to defend themselves. It is useless for 99% of us creators of web content. The reason I haven't exposed any of my paintings on the internet is that once there they are lost to me. I no longer own them. The carrot in front of the donkey put forward by many is that if you put your creations up on the internet then you are getting exposure. The wise amongst us are seeing straight through this lie. The fact is if you put your stuff up on the internet you are giving it away. I would rather stick my paintings in a real world gallery and have the occasional visitor see them than have a billion thieves get their hands on them . Unscrupulous people, (which we all are really on the on the free-for-all internet) change them ever so slightly- if they can be bothered- and whack them back up under their name. The web is a plagiarist's dream come true. Just look at what's happening in music.

So here's the bottom line to this. The reason I put up this appallingly mundane blog is because I want to join in with the internet revolution. Sure! That will do for an excuse- couldn't be bothered thinking of any others.  But I am only prepared to put up this shit because I know no-one will bother stealing anything to do with it coz it is so damned menial it ain't worth the effort. It is truly a feeble thing I do here. But I enjoy it on a daily basis. The fun part of it is that I know I am writing far too much for people to take in. They only have the patience to read a couple of sentences and they're distracted, bored and off and running to the next website. Nothing important is said here. And nothing important will be said here. Funny though- to me it all makes sense. I like to reread my stuff. I get a kick out of it- it's like a literary narcissism I guess. But reading other people's stuff is a real chore. It's so unimportant to me. I'd rather read my stuff- it's much better and more fun.

When I'm gone people will enter my house and they will find a treasure trove of paintings never before seen by anyone. Huge canvasses with all kinds of brilliant images painted ever so carefully on them. And guess what- no-one who googles me in future will see them. All they will see is this silly little blog. This is my legacy. All because copyright don't work. The internet doesn't bring freedom to the artist- it makes him put a lid on his best work. The world wants everything for free- well they ain't getting my paintings for free. I know- I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face- but then- that's what overthinking does to a person.

If you don't believe me here's the proof about copyright:
http://www.businessinsider.com/the-most-damning-information-viacom-dug-up-on-google-and-youtube-2010-3#-13

Friday, March 19, 2010

The noisy monk

I have my favourite spot in the nearest super shopping mall Knox City. It is the food court- of course. And I don't go there for the peace and quiet. I would be a total idiot if I did. In fact it usually contains the sound level of of low flying jet particularly when school is out. So today I am there happily munching on my big mac, I make sure I have one of these once a week. See I am into healthy food. I had my usual spot at the window which looks out at my beautiful hills. This is how ridiculous I am. I only like to go there for the view. I live in the beautiful hills but I like to drive out of the beautiful hills so that I can look back at the beautiful hills from a distance. Isn't that odd? As I munch on the big mac my eye traces the outline of my beautiful hills as I search for the exact spot where I live so I can imagine what's going on back there in my beautiful hills. See I am odd, you gotta admit. No-one should do this sort of crap, but I do and feel quite compelled to do this on average of once per week.

Any how, enough of the odd behaviour of me, let's get onto the odd behaviour of someone else. This is by far my favourite thing to write about as you may have noticed. I'm sitting there at my usual spot with my music player feeding into my brain nicely when I hear a sound louder than my player. This is odd because I always have the volume up high enough to stop outside noise particularly in the food court where, as I said, it is noisy. So I up the volume a bit and still this loud voice is coming through to my ears. Man that person is talking very loudly I thought. But I couldn't understand a word the man was saying because it sounded Chinese. Odd I thought. I better take a peek and see who is this super loud person. And why is he talking incessantly? So I carefully, so as not to appear too obvious, turn around and ..............
It's a bloke in brown robes. A monk! A Buddhist monk!

WTF????

I thought these guys were into peace and meditation and in particular- silence. I thought they were all softly spoken minimalists. This guy defied all stereotypical notions of what a Buddhist monk is like. Not only did he talk without drawing breath for the full 20 minutes I was there at full and beyond volume he appeared very agitated with the person next to him. In fact I would have thought him to be angry with what he was saying; like he was dressing the poor woman down for some kind of transgression or something. We have all seen the fiery sermon from the pulpit about us sinners haven't we, but this guy took the prize. It was a fire and brimstone lecture if ever I heard one except it was all in Chinese so I couldn't grasp a word of it.
Still you learn something every day. I will look at Buddhist monks in a totally new light from here on.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Contradictory creatures

When you read this one you can see why I have created the overthinking man can't you? It's not my fault. Really! With this sorta thing goin' on who could blame me?

Some people I know are intriguingly baffling creatures. These people are women in particular-( of course).  Their behaviour contradicts the very words coming out of their mouths. "Oh! I'm not into sex!" she says as she cavorts for hours in front of the mirror. " No I just want to look good that's all" As the breasts are bolstered ever upward in that tiny little top she is wearing until they are on the verge of bursting out all over the place. No. She doesn't want anything to do with sex. No. Just wants to look------good? I think good is far from what is going on in her mind, in fact I think it is more towards bad girl than good girl.

 If one were to make an analogy of this type of behaviour it would be like a cake decorator. The person who decorates cakes but the cakes are to be looked at not eaten by anyone. Then again, this doesn't really capture it. It's more like if we were to reach out a finger and attempt to pick up some tasty icing our hand would be slapped away with utmost indignation. Do not attempt eating that beautiful cake. It is beyond your worthiness you lowly male.

Yep, If we blokes are caught in the off chance taking a peek at those boobies so tantalisingly on show-- well we are immediately told to take our eyes off 'em. We are seen as lecherous low life's. Hungry animals. Because you see, they are simply not there for any other purpose than being there. All male eyes are to be diverted from their region of space. Because you see, their owner is not into sex. You male idiot!

And after all this I hear complaints about how she doesn't like being ogled by every male-- including her doctor- oh shock- of horror!!!. Men are such grubby creatures. Even doctors. Who can you trust not to look at those enticing boobies then?

"We women get so tired of their eyes leering at us. What a shame" she says, "they can't be like me. "

And I can only presume she means "Pure as the driven snow"

What a game! Who is the winner? I would expect it is the one who keeps his eyes well and truly pointed towards the ceiling for just the required amount of time only to pounce when the time is right. Timing is everything in the human mating ritual.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Speaking in tongues

I was at a charitable event the other night run by a Christian mission style of organisation. I like Christians. They are really friendly people in the main and they all appear to have a good attitude to life. I used to be a Catholic when I was a kid. I had no choice in it. I was born into it.

These wonderful people had built toilets for a poor village in Vietnam. It apparently was a mission given to them by God. Man that's really good!  But I'm not going into that. What I am going to comment on is the weird incongruity of the night. The good and the bad of the goody good.


I know these people are doing good things. They are to be admired. And I do. But when they throw their fundraising events the purpose is to get money from us right? Well they got our money all right, but then they want to tell you all about the good work they are doing and then they want to tweak your interest in joining them in their mission from God. Just to remind you- For them- it was bloody toilets. They do this by making you feel guilty for not doing as they are doing and they may do this intentionally or not- the end result is the same. You feel guilty that you haven't been over building dunnies in some foreign country because they have.  It all gets too much. Then further to the night's "fun" we were given the most detailed run through of the project visually and aurally. The only thing that was missing was the sense of smell of the toilets they had built. All this for 2 hours!
So I sat through the whole thing wondering if it was ever going to stop. And the wonderful sweet cakes and lovely yummies sitting on the tables around me didn't look so enticing anymore ( toilet talk and yummies don't really mix) and the whole evening just dragged on. I would have been best just dropping off my money and pissing the hell off.

The lowlight for me was to be left till last however. I'm sitting there after someone had finally stood up and said- enough of the toilet talk- and then some other bright ardent Christian soul says lets pray over it. Oh no!

And away we go. It's people doing all their public displays in words and gestures and intonations etc etc of how you are supposed to talk to God or of how they think God wants to hear from us and of course just behind me is one of those people who go into the full on spectacle--- going all the way to the top of loony---outdoing all others in the room--- she starts talking in tongues. I really despise public display of piety at the best of times. Now this speaking in tongues thing is the creepiest kind . It is cringe worthy to the max. These spooky types of people suddenly start talking gibberish----non-stop. I hate it. But apparently God loves it- don't know why. It is such an embarrassment to be near it. It reeks of pretentious bullshit. On the same level of someone who can't hold their liquor- they can't hold their God. The kids in the audience look at these grown people making absolute fools of themselves in a sort of questioning amazement. Kids are more honest and real than some adults. If this sort of behaviour comes from God how come I feel so sickened by it? So what it boiled down to: A good night ruined by someone who in my opinion used foul language in front of me---- and the kids.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Resisting an opinion

What's the most difficult thing a man can do? The answer is resistance to having an opinion. Just look at the mess I have created here; post after post of my opinion. All of it is worthless. Individually that is. But, when it is collectively assessed, opinion is the fabric of all society.In fact, dare I say, it is society. Society is a collective of opinion.

What exactly is opinion?

This from dictionary.com:

o·pin·ion

[uh-pin-yuhn] Show IPA
–noun
1.
a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.
2.
a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.
3.
the formal expression of a professional judgment: to ask for a second medical opinion.
4.
Law. the formal statement by a judge or court of the reasoning and the principles of law used in reaching a decision of a case.
5.
a judgment or estimate of a person or thing with respect to character, merit, etc.: to forfeit someone's good opinion.
6.
a favorable estimate; esteem: I haven't much of an opinion of him.

But bloody hell-------- don't we fight for our opinions though? We go into battle over them----literally. 

And we read other people's opinions here on the internet and in the media. We hang on every word when some mouthy person utters their opinion. Particularly those ones who we think, in our opinion, are worth listening to or we are told are worth listening to by someone else in their opinion.
But the bottom line is-

- here it comes-- 

opinions are just theories.

They are not to be seen as facts or truths.  They are ad hoc. Here one moment to answer a particular situation then gone at the next situation. We all live with opinion though. Rather than truth and fact we all live with opinion. This is because none of us have the time to assess anything long enough to place it in the truth or fact category and we are constantly bombarded by the opinions of others.

So that's it people. My opinion about opinion. I sprout it here every day. No-one reads it. But I still sprout it. It gets it off my chest and maybe onto someone else's. Or, maybe not. I care not.

All I know is those who know me know me for my opinions. I am famous for them. But they ain't worth shit. So those people who know me for my opinions only know the worthless side of me. This is the one that does the damage. This is the one that hurts people. This is the opinion. It is a damaging and false truth and must be seen for what it is if we are to survive all this living business in any kind of peaceful way.
Well there it is. I'm right in my opinion in this. Aren't I?
God we are just hot air. It's all meaningless. So am I.
Now back to the dishes..................................

Monday, March 8, 2010

End of money

Is it possible? The end of that which is so much part of our reality. In fact it is reality. Created by man for man. But like anything created by us it is temporary. It may not seem to be so vulnerable. After all how else can we trade for the things we need? But if we look at the state of the world economies we really can see it all falling apart one day. Of course those in power would never admit to this. It is impossible to imagine after all. But the thing is- I can imagine it. Then what are we all gonna do?

Wash dishes I would guess. then stop washing dishes because they will never get dirty because we can't buy food to get them so. Oh happy days. Starving to death is the best way to not do dishes. Do you see? Every cloud does have a silver lining.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

On cosmetic surgery

As I grow older I am presented with an unavoidable truth- we start becoming less beautiful and dare I say downright ugly. The urge to look in mirrors is replaced with the urge to avoid mirrors at all cost. Oh cruel world!

Some people can't tolerate this truth so they try to change their appearance to match their preconceived idea of how they looked when they were not decayed and ravaged by time. Enter the world of injections and the knives. Oh joy!So we now have a choice. This is how it is marketed to us at least. We have a choice in how we look. Our choice- Meddle or don't meddle. I guess it all depends on whether we want to be having sex or not having sex. On whether we are prepared to not turn people on any more coz we looks so horrible.

Well sex ain't everything. We gotta pay too much to keep at it if knives and injections and surgeon's fees are involved. It would be far cheaper and less painful to just go the house- of- ill- repute if this is the reason for meddling with our appearance. Furthermore, you are in big trouble though if you simply can't live with yourself if you continue to look the way you do. Jumping off a cliff is a far better option if this is the case because if you're that useless in caring about yourself then your life appears to be already over. If it comes to all this then becoming a monk sounds far more appealing. No-one's worth getting injected with poison for. And as to getting slashed up in order to make a better man of me------ forget it!!!!

So get over the looks issues and grow a hobby other than sex and you will be totally ok for the rest of your long life.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Finished

I was just sweeping the floor. Interesting eh?

When I am doing such interesting things I always get my most profound thoughts. I'm sweeping away, in a world of my own and suddenly I got it. Nothing is ever truly finished. This follows on from my post the other day. Many times I have thought that I will never finish this project or that. They never seem to finish. There is always some loose end. Something that requires a little bit more effort. An effort that seems to be impossible to get time to put in. Everything is left off because something else comes along that requires my immediate attention.

If any of us looked fairly and squarely at our lives we would see all those unfinished jobs we have done. Every one of them has something left to do on it.

Then when I look at the big world out there what do I see? Unfinished jobs. It's a necessary part of life to have unfinished jobs. It goes along with the fact that everything is in a constant state of change. The only true finish we have is when we die. We leave behind us a legacy of unfinished things which add to the chaos that is here around us now. We live in a world surrounded by the unfinished work of others. It's like with the release of new products like say computers. Some say they are evolving the whole time but I say they are unfinished projects. And they will never be finished. Goodness that's what the commercial world requires in order to survive. We must be enticed by bigger and better all the time in order to spend unnecessary money. If something was truly finished, like say a computer, then we would never need to purchase another one ever again. Ever!

Now I don't feel so bad about all thos unfinished paintings, and graphic I have sitting on my hard drive. I have stuff there dating back to my very first computer in 1990. And guess what? All of it is unfinished work or as I have been affectionately calling it-- nostalgic works in progress.

That's it!. I'm putting it all together into a book. And I'm calling it my book of unfinished work. I will leave the finishing off to the readers imagination. What a great idea! People will buy it just so they can see that everyone suffers the same unfinished symphony of life. And when I do release this book it will never be finished because I can then do another one, which will be unfinished of course so then I can do another one and another and so on--- just like the movie makers do. Ha! That's how they do it. Well I have taught myself something today. But I'm not finished.

Friday, March 5, 2010

People who know me in the analog world

Stop worrying about my posts here and what they mean. Stop thinking that you can read how I am going out there in the world judged by what I write here. Just read my stuff- if you want to and treat it as a fiction written by someone who you don't know. You all keep trying to associate it with you, with me, with me and you. it's nothing to do with anything its a bit of writing which I enjoy doing. That's all. Stop taking on board everything that happens in life and storing it in the me me me folder of your mind. it's overloaded and getting moreso every moment of every day. This is my entertainment- it could be yours too-- if you disassociate from it. I know it's hard to do when you know the person who writes the things you read. I suppose it would be a problem experienced by all writers. The characters in their books would also always draw associations from their personal friends. You know how it goes? "Oh that character--- you were writing about me when you wrote that weren't you?" No. You are not the centre of my universe or everyone's or anyone's other than your own universe for that matter. Sorta bursts ya bubble don't it?

Thursday, March 4, 2010

What's with the use of the word "like"?

I hear it all the time now--- It's like I said in like; ( notice the use of semi colon; good eh?) the past, the use of like is on the increase. I like; wonder if like; people have caught some like; disease man? They put like in whenever and like; wherever they can. It's replacing the good old umm or you know. It pisses me off because I know that people do this to pad out what they are like; saying. Idiots!. I don't need to pad out my posts with like; like. I can pad it out using all kinds of like; different words. Like just sounds like; pretentious and like; teenage and like; simplistic and like; so like; annoying....................................... Yeah- I'm sweating the small stuff but when you hear it so often it's no longer small is it?
 It goes along with the tongue out photos that the mindless moronic teenage sheep do in every fucking shot- Oh let's like; do something really different- let's like; poke out our tongue- yeah that would be so like; cool. Teenagers are morons I tell ya!!!!! And it's a youth obsessed world. Why are we so like; obsessed with morons?

Jealous of the big boys

I must admit. I experience quite some jealousy of the big boys who have all the toys. and who do I mean by this- I mean George Lucas, Stephen Spielberg, James Cameron and Tim Burton. Not only am I jealous of their toys I am also very disappointed in the games they play with their toys. Guys like me don't have those proper toys to do the things they can do and we don't get the opportunity to acquire them. They have all the fun and we can only do pale things by comparison. But even though I am stuck with just my humble paint brushes and pencils by comparison, I reckon I do a far more original job than any of them do. Let's face it- they make great eye candy in their productions but at the same time they say very little that is new.

I reckon for the good of art and for sharing these blokes ought to just give some new blokes a go with their toys. It's the only way some genuine new ideas can be generated. Eye candy is great of course, but we really do expect more from the movies we see. And these guys are hogging the scene with their old and overdone ideas. They were good once- but they need to say- well we had our turn- now you new guys have a go.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Such a waste of time

For some unknown reason I watched a really pathetic movie last night. it goes by the title- and I should have avoided it by this alone-- He's just not that into you. It's like chocolate though- it's bad for you but it tastes so good whilst you are eating it.

If an intelligent woman was supposed to be portrayed in this movie then I simply didn't pick up on it. If this is the usual preoccupation of women- you know getting and holding a man-- then the end of humans is inevitable. As a species, we are simply too stupid to survive much more of this thing called existence. All the really important and big issues go unnoticed by 50% of the population because they are too busy thinking about the other 50%. And men make such a mess of things if left to their own resources- well, you can see where I am going with this??

The whole experience left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I think I would have felt better about myself if I had watched porn rather than this absolutely crappy piece of nonesense. And all those big name actors-- God they will do anything for money-- may as well be porn. That's it- it was an example of airhead porn. Oh I feel better now-- I was just studying a movie genre. I wasn't watching just because I wanted to watch it. It was for serious study purposes.

Isaac Newton lost his cred

I have been sucked in to watching a lame series of documentaries of Foxtel called the Nostradamus Effect. It's all about the end of the world prophesies. ( And you reckon my humour is dark?) It's a laugh. It is so strung together. It's all wild leaps from statement to false conclusions. How these people interpret the rants of these historical dudes to get the prophesies they do I will never know.

LAST NIGHT THEY CRUCIFIED MY FAVOURITE SCIENTIST- ISAAC NEWTON--- Bastards!!!

If in fact Newton did involve himself in prophesying, for me, he has lost all credibility. I don't care that he has been right in everything else he has involved himself in and that he is the father of calculus and such accurate and truthful pursuits-- if he involved himself in all that hocus pocus--- he is a loony.

What a shame. Next they will be saying that Einstein did a bit of the ol' propheting in his spare time.

Oh. The date for the end of the world is 2060 according to Newton. Put that one on ya calendar.

What about survival

The copyright laws are dead. This internet saw to that. And everyone is downloading everything for free as much as they can. Focus has been on music. But as an artist I am wondering how we are going to get a fair go? I mean, it was hard enough to survive in the arts before the internet but now it is impossible really.

You see it's fairly simple; it's a matter of extremes---the air is free---- it is a necessity--- so too is anything unnecessary---- art is unnecessary. I know it's necessary for the soul of a healthy society and all that crap, but in truth, art is unnecessary.

Ah well. I may go to my alternative career--- dishwashing--- and keep my art to myself.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Literary Character

I still get people thinking I actually am the type of person reflected by my writings here. I have said it before - I will state it again. My character here is a fiction. It is not me. It is a construction based on my day to day experiences. But it is not me. People can't seem to grasp that. They think the words I write here are dark and that I am that total arsehole. Well wake up people! If I really acted in real life in the way reflected in what I write here, I would have jumped off a cliff years ago- no-one would want to know me.

Here's another example of how  bleeding hearts expect everyone to have wonderful and pure thoughts. Or that everyone should aim for that way of thinking. Well they are naive. No-one has 100% pure and positive thoughts the same as they never have 100% negative and impure thoughts. We hide and cover up all our bad thoughts to everyone around us because we would be seen as total arseholes of course. But it does not mean that these thoughts do not exist within. They do. And I let them out here and it's harmless. Overthinking , the blog, is about letting out my "dark passenger".

If you take offence then I say-- if the shoe fits wear it!!!!--poor little bleeding heart that you are. There ain't no pussy footing around here. But it's not real- it's a rant-- like the poor comedian I must explain my joke-- how distasteful is that?

In real life it is more of a balance between positive and negative however. But it's like the news. Nobody would read the news if it was all positive. It must be weighed towards the negative or nobody would be interested in reading it. I apply the same principle here. If you want to have a dark and broody type of experience then here is your feed. If you want light and fluffy go elsewhere. You are precious and you don't belong here.

Consider this blog as a pressure valve. It lets it out -- for me-- and maybe for you, the reader, also. We feel alone in our negative thoughts don't we? It feels comforting to know there is someone out there who shares our dark thoughts- the ones we don't want to have, but do have, from time to time. Our road doesn't feel so lonely. Someone gets it. I used to drink gallons of alcohol to do the same thing. Then all the bullshit came out I tell ya. I don't drink a drop now. Oh! Hang on! That's it--- some people I know prefer me to be that total soak again than to be the wordy arsehole I am here. They say: " you were so much fun and lay back when you drank". This as they suck up all the booze they can get their lips around of course--- Well stuff you! I'm saving a fortune and my health is much better- both mentally and physically. Sober and nasty is a far better choice than pissed and stupid.

You can rely on a good read about negative stuff here all the time. If it's there- I let it out. And it may very well concern you- or it may appear that way at least. That's because all this is based on observation of myself and others. And underneath we are all pretty similar. And most of the time we are too busy avoiding saying the stuff I write here in an attempt not so much to be good and sensitive to others but to avoid trouble for ourselves. That's what it's all about. The answer to anyone who finds my posts upsetting is--- don't visit my blog. Piss off!

Now on with the show------------------- my show!!!!

All in all, I, the "Overthinking Man", am a literary character. Understand yet? God people are so thick!

Abandoned projects

I am an overthinking man. I can't help it. I don't just think  like normal people- I overthink and as a result nothing really gets finished. I talk of dishes a lot because I understand that at least I have an excuse with dishwashing in that the stream of dirty dishes never stops. Thus I don't feel guilty by never finishing the task.

i jump now to a real life example of another kind of overthinking species. The Orb Spinning Spider. I have watched them for hours in their web building projects. They are so delicate and they never seem to be satisfied with the end result. They are always fixing this and cleaning that. They live their lives exactly as i do. They are my animal spirit guide for sure. I think like an Orb Spinning Spider. They are much more resilient than me however. They persevere. They see a project through to the end so that they can catch their reward which in their case is their food. I don't. I rarely see things through to get my reward. And the reason I never do this is because I lose sight of the reward at some stage of every project. I get bored with it and just stop doing it.

Unfortunately I have taken this style of behaviour to my relationships with some people. I work diligently to keep them happy and I do everything I can to get them to be my best friend. I put up with all kinds of shit. A lot of it goes against the grain too. But I keep my eye on the reward which is that they will be my friend and keep me special in their lives.

But like the spider, sometimes the web becomes just too difficult to maintain with some people. I keep patching this area and fixing that broken thread all in a pathetic attempt to keep the web of our relationship intact. Then I lose sight of the reward in the project. And it is abandoned. With some projects I have been compelled to just walk away. And I never look back. I do feel deep disappointment though. The answer is do not embark on friendships that are projects. I have too many of them in my life and I am abandoning them one at a time. They go in the form of totally fucked up women. All Blondes!!! How is that for coincidence?

There. Is that obvious enough? Now I can move on with the more important aspects of life. The ones that are in fact rewarding. The ones that have a possibility of completion. Fucked up people can never be fixed. They like being fucked up. It's part of their character.